The Mystery of the Denture Bandit(s)

NurseAlwaysNForever

This went on for several weeks, so I took it upon myself to put the dentures in all of the patient's mouths who could not do so their self, and I did daily random denture checks. I would make my way checking and talking to my denture patients just to see if they still had them in. I figured if I kept a close eye I could see where they were going.

My suspicion was that a patient with Alzheimer's was picking them up and hiding them and that housekeepers were finding them and returning them. I wanted to find out which pt, so I could keep a closer eye. I never told anyone about my denture mission, and I don't even know why I was so concerned with it, however, I was.

I began to notice the most unusual pattern.

The dentures disappeared about every 4th day and returned 2 days later. Always usually coming up missing in the afternoon and returning in the afternoon. Nurses worked 12-hour shift, aides worked 8-hour shifts.

I began seeing that the dentures were coming up missing on the same rotation of aides. I don't know why I never realized whether or not any of them were missing their teeth. I guess because the thought of them actually taking the dentures never crossed my mind. I only thought that maybe a certain group of aides was being irresponsible with them.

Finally, we had a patient with dentures come up missing that never showed back up, just a few weeks later another pair came up missing and never showed back up. This was very hard to explain to the families and our facility was going to have to replace them. They even suggested moving their family member to another facility if they weren't found.

Two of our aides came in and were assigned to my hall, a husband and wife. I hadn't had them for a few weeks. I sent them into one of the patient's rooms who was missing their dentures. It was an Alzheimer's patient. I had not explained that their family was visiting.

I heard yelling "You bleeping thief... How dare you..."

I made my way to the room and found the patients' son holding my aide by the collar. I was about to call the police but decided to diffuse the situation.

"Sir, please calm down. There must be some misunderstanding. Let's talk about this."

He let go of the aide and said, "He stole my mom's teeth. The sorry bleep stole my moms' teeth."

I said, "Surely there is a misunderstanding."

He said, "No, I would know those teeth anywhere, they are mom's."

I looked at the aide and apologized, and asked him to please show us his gums so we could see that they were real teeth. He hesitated, but with prodding, he proceeded. When he opened his mouth the dentures dropped off of his gums. I was shocked. I never knew he had dentures.

How observant of I?

We had him spit them out, and right on the side was the patient's name. Apparently, he and his wife had been taking the teeth home to clean them and try them on and would bring them back when they wouldn't fit comfortably. They had finally found a pair for each of them. They were fired and turned in to proper authorities. I still kick myself in the rear for not inspecting my fellow co-workers' mouths. Who would have thought.....

The Mystery of the Denture Bandit(s)

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