Topics About 'Nursing Humor'.

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  1. C. Diff, MRSA and VRE are just a few of the diseases hospitals have taken specific measures to reduce cross contamination. These diseases have serious side effects and can further complicate an immune-compromised patient's chance of improvement. Evid...
  2. Being the veteran of several years on Med/Surg, I figured that I'd encountered just about every type of patient and family. There was the 99-year-old who'd never been in a hospital in her life, and her sixteen relatives who occupied the room througho...
  3. You know how to make a bed, even with someone in it, but you don't know how to get around to making the bed when the patient keeps asking you questions and sending you on errands. A new nurse is about as worthless as a newborn baby. We run circles ar...
  4. That Locked Door!

    Stating my home schedule conflicting with an orientation schedule, I was happily surprised by the head nurse's offer to speak with the administration about a "creative scheduling orientation" for me. I jumped at the offer. I was committed to staying ...
  5. The boy needed an I.V. But, like many kids, he was afraid of needles and was bound determined not to get one. He was on the backside of the unit, furthest from the nurses station, which is where we tried to keep transplant patients to keep them as fa...
  6. White Lady

    It occurred while I was on a night shift (10:00 pm - 6:00 am). I was the charge nurse then so I was the one making rounds to check and monitor the patients even while asleep. At 2:00 am, I quietly entered the dimly lit room of an 80-year-old patient ...
  7. My husband had become a disabled veteran after spending some time deployed to Saudi Arabia during his tenure in the United States Air Force. One summer, while driving his Humvee through the desert on patrol, he made a sharp turn. These Humvees do not...
  8. Sometimes, I'm Such a Moron!

    "Very cool," I thought to myself. "Someone with American Indian bloodline." Mrs. B. was intubated because of a stroke. She was one of two patients who was assigned to me for the weekend in our ICU. The unit was full and, not surprisingly, it was busy...
  9. Dear Me!

    I have worked for several years on a busy medical surgical floor and once in awhile my white uniforms would become splotched with a myriad of substances, from patient's peg feeding to ballpoint pen ink. Last year, I had purchased a uniform set from a...
  10. My mother also received high doses of narcotics in these end stages to keep her comfortable. As a result, she had been unresponsive for two days. I was sharing the night shift with my stepsister who gave the thorazine at 2 a.m. and told me that she w...
  11. 1) If you yell "HELP!" one. more. time. without a really, really, REALLY good reason for it, I am going to come down there, shut the door, and give you a good dose of pillow therapy. 2) Sure, go ahead and sign out AMA. It's your choice. Just a remind...
  12. VivaLasViejas

    You Just Can't Fix Stupid!

    Stupidity is a lot like nuclear energy---it can be used for good or for evil, but either way, you don't want to get any on you. This is never more true than when taking care of patients who have done incredibly idiotic things to themselves that requi...
  13. VivaLasViejas

    Patients We All Know and Love

    And, in my estimation, nothing causes duress like being a patient in a healthcare setting. Even people who are ordinarily sane, decent human beings tend to wig out a little during a hospital stay. And for those of us who are charged with their care, ...
  14. Ok, so picture this. Brand new nurse, in the 1970's, in her little white uniform with her long hair severely pulled back into a bun in order to bobby pin her white cap with one black stripe in place. And of course, there is a caduceus stick pin at th...
  15. An Unforgettable Patient: The Turkey Lady

    A philosopher would say that there are certain things in this life that are inevitable. For example: Death, taxes, and the fact that you will hear that joke at least once, and it won't even be funny the first time. As nurses, though, we tend to have ...
  16. Here, for your enjoyment, are twenty more things nurses wish they never had to say: 1) To the CNA: "Uh-oh........it looks like Mrs. Chambers hasn't had a BM in nine days." 2) To the patient with Munchausen's Syndrome: "No, I can't give you any more p...
  17. VivaLasViejas

    You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

    ........Some years ago when I was still working Med/Surg, I had a patient who could be described diplomatically only as "fluffy". In actuality, she was a diabetic who weighed more than 400 lbs. A pleasant sort, she struck up conversation with me as I...
  18. jadelpn

    Noro-virus Blues

    OK, so the old joke "The Postman Always Rings Twice" can be easily converted to "The Noro-virus CAN Ring Twice". And once is enough. And never is better. And it helps when one washes their hands raw, but even then sometimes we end up with the nasty l...
  19. I worked with a doctor who was very proper. He was friendly and not stiff or unapproachable. He just had his own ideas of right and wrong. One day he asked me why I did not wear my cap. I went through the usual answers... It pulls my hair, it is hot,...
  20. Being a seasoned nurse now, it doesn't bother me much at all, to have to call. However, back when I first began my RN career, there were doctors that would make me shake and shudder in my NurseMates, just at the thought of having to call them. So, it...
  21. Without another thought, I was thrown into the mix. Deliveries, I had help with but the normal day to day stuff I quickly learned on my own. In those days we not only did OB but we had a floor full of "clean surgical" cases that we were responsible f...
  22. Penni60

    V-Tach or NOT?

    Working nights can be very interesting and challenging at times. It can also be very exciting and fast paced. I was working one night from 7p to 7a. My co-worker and I had our night planned, report taken, all patients were stable and our shift was se...
  23. I have a friend who once made her teenage daughter throw up at the dinner table by telling a story about an accidental shooting. It was quite a night to remember. My family and I were having supper at her house, and over the lasagna she began to tell...
  24. TopazLover

    Be Kind To Co-workers Or Else

    To tell the truth, I don't know if she had dementia prior to the stroke. Certainly, after this stroke, she had classic perseveration. Many of us have taken care of elders who focused on money when they developed dementia. Perhaps it goes back to bein...
  25. nursejoy1

    A Lick and A Promise

    Six months after Pa-Paw's death, I went to work as a CNA in the local nursing home. (The same one I work at today) At the age of nineteen, I wasn't sure that CNA was what I wanted to do, but decided I could do it because it paid better than being a c...