I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.
I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.
What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!
As for God, I am talking about Jesus. You all know I am a born again Christian, a hated minority here on AN and in the world.
Christians are a hated minority here and in the world? Are you from planet earth? I have a Christian church on just about ever street corner where I live. My kids and I counted over 200 CHRISTIAN churches on our last road trip, which was about 200 miles round trip. Last I checked, being a Christian doesn't make you hated, or even CLOSE to a minority.
My frustration in this tragic event, is a party claiming to be the family of Brock Turner has a brock Turner family support group were they are referring to Brock is their little angel, and bad mouthing the victim.
You did nothing wrong. You were an innocent child, a victim of a terrible crime. Your situation was completely different than the Stanford rape case. I am sorry to disgust you and sorry that this terrible thing happened to you. Again, please hear me - you are not at all to blame or responsible for what a terrible, vicious, despicable adult did to you. I pray that you will have healing and peace.
Umm, no, it's not "completely different." It's exactly the same. Your statement that "you are not at all to blame or responsible for what a terrible, vicious, despicable adult did to you" is just as applicable to the Stanford victim. Rape is rape. How hard can it be, really, to understand that???
And I don't think walking in a "bad neighborhood" is asking to get mugged any more than walking in a "good neighborhood" is. OMG- does that mean that poor people deserve to be victims because they can't afford a 'better' place to live??
I think you should just shut your trap, seriously.
I worked as a hospice nurse, many of my patients were in high crime neighborhoods. I never once let that deter me from getting out of my car, walking up to that door and giving that person good care. I never once felt in danger, either. Some of us see people when we''re out in public, not clothing, skin color or social economic class.
Newsflash for you- you can be a victim in your own, nice safe Christian neighborhood and home. Being in a 'good neighborhood', wearing 'proper' clothing does not protect you from violent criminals.
My frustration in this tragic event, is a party claiming to be the family of Brock Turner has a brock Turner family support group were they are referring to Brock is their little angel, and bad mouthing the victim.
Wow. That is disgusting he has a support group! "Little Angel" more like he is a sick twisted mess". I think with his lenient sentence in the future we will be hearing about him in the papers again unfortunately. One thing I always tell my kids. U have a "choice". It was his choice to go out and rape this woman. Nobody made him do it. Also the people that say u "shouldn't get drunk and women should dress accordingly" is bull! I go to the beach wearing a bikini and me and my friends like to have cocktails. Does that mean I deserved to be raped? And the other thing that annoys me is where people are saying "wait till marriage". Really. Just really !! Anyways this is social media so we ALL get to have our own opinion on things. Lastly I pray for the victim of this horrific rape nobody man or woman deserves that just because they went out to a party and got drunk
Christians are a hated minority here and in the world? Are you from planet earth? I have a Christian church on just about ever street corner where I live. My kids and I counted over 200 CHRISTIAN churches on our last road trip, which was about 200 miles round trip. Last I checked, being a Christian doesn't make you hated, or even CLOSE to a minority.
Nationally seven in ten people identify as Christian, about 23% are religiously unaffiliated, and 6% are some other religion. According to Pew the US is "home to more Christians than any other country in the world." So there's a really good chance that in actuality Kooky's getting heat from his fellow Christians as often if not more than from the rest of us. Which would mean his beliefs are unpopular even within his professed religion.
Personally I'm sympathetic to people who can manage to be the massively dominant religion and still consider themselves the underdog. It requires a level of mental gymnastics that I find I'm not limber enough to perform.
Ruby, I have indeed taught my sons to respect women and all people. Re-read my post. They are well aware that sex belongs in marriage and needs to be consensual at all times, and that sex is beautiful when used as God intended - in marriage for enjoyment, for procreation - one man and one woman in marriage. Now i will hear from the LGBT crowd what an evil person I am. It's definitely not safe here to hold a different viewpoint.
I stated that I didn't know the facts of the case. OK, it was outside behind a dumpster, not a bedroom. And the woman had so much alcohol that she passed out and fell down? Where were her friends and why did they let this happen? How did Turner find her?
Turner was/is a sick individual. He apparently followed this intoxicated woman when she left the party. Or did they leave together or what? Please do tell me the facts. I have stated that what he did was absolutely wrong, but no one seems to have read that part. Turner does not deserve the lenient sentence he got, but he is still a person. He deserves punishment and rehabilitation. Or does he?
As for God, I am talking about Jesus. You all know I am a born again Christian, a hated minority here on AN and in the world. I personally have found that anyone here who dares to state their dissenting view about issues like abortion, homosexuality, and now rape is taken to task and crucified here.
I did not say that God blamed the victim. Never said that. I believe God wants us to follow some basic morality, like the Ten Commandments. These lay a good foundation for a just society. And Jesus would not condemn a victim. He wants us, I believe, to take responsibility for ourselves and to accept His love - but it is not a love that doesn't require work on our part. He shed His blood to pay for our sins and gives us salvation as a gift. We are expected, in return, to present ourselves as a living sacrifice to advance the purpose of making His love known to all people and to represent God as loving and holy. He tells us to be holy because He is holy. Doesn't that include using wisdom?
I said it but it got missed by most of you - I do NOT think the burkah and hijab and acid in the face and genital mutilation of females are the answer. I said that neither totally running outside the basic moral foundation mentioned above nor making women property and 2nd class non-persons is right.
Rape in marriage or in a live-in arrangement believed to be stable - rape certainly can happen in these conditions. Fear of leaving dangerous domestic relationships - understandable and a well-known fact. Still, the poster who told of this situation did manage to get out and I applaud that wholeheartedly. I hope she is alright and never has to go through anything like that again. Same with other victims of crime who shared here - like the poster who had a gun put to her head. I am totally sympathetic to you. I was mugged myself, my life threatened with a gun, kicked and punched, feared for my life. I know how that feels. Could I have avoided it? Yes. I was out late one night, bad part of town, wife told me I should take my walks elsewhere. I knew better, didn't listen. My fault? Well, you decide. I don't walk in bad neighborhoods any more.
To all who are so upset with me - I am reviewing rape being about power, not about sex, and studying the other issues you raise. I can be taught and I can learn, and I appreciate that you all have given me food for thought. Hopefully, we can learn from each other, if only to read carefully and not pick out only the parts of a post you find disturbing, but to read the whole thing, like the parts that say Turner was wrong and that the girl's condition did not excuse his actions. You did see that, right?
Do you want your kids to bring shame to your family? Is that a good thing? Do you want them playing with fire? Is it ok for them to get burned because they didn't use good judgment? Isn't it preferable to teach them self-control and moderation in the first place? And to let them know that they are part of you, they share your name, and your family has a proud tradition of being decent people? What is wrong with that? With letting a kid know that you are counting on him or her to uphold and carry on that tradition? Not that you will hate them or disown them if they are not honorable people, but that it will pain you and their other relatives greatly if they turn out to be criminals? And that it is because they belong to, they are part of, they are members of, they fit in with your family? Orphans don't necessarily get that gift of belonging. But your family knows and treasures its own.
I forget who commented about the Amish, but that was a hateful statement. Where is your respect for Amish? It was a rude comment. Just because they are different from you, doesn't mean it's OK for you to ridicule them.
For the poster who wondered about rapes of children, nuns, old women in their own homes - these are things done by sick individuals and are, of course, absolutely wrong. The victims of these have done nothing wrong. I'm not sure why these things happen except that some people are very sick, sociopaths. And, no, being modest in dress and with regard to alcohol and where one goes would not have prevented these rapes. I don't know of any other answer as to why these things happen.
Why do people commit any crimes? Because they are sick, angry, short-sighted, drunk, high, some or all of these reasons? Or no real reason at all? Or???
Can you let the youth group leader who plied me with alcohol on a church trip and told me what he was doing was okay in God's eyes know about God's intentions for sex? Because I was 13 and really quickly was really drunk, but he kept telling me that this was all fine, so perhaps you can let him what God actually intends? Because I was at the time in a rather conservative environment I never reported, so I'm sure he's still out there doing the same to girls just like I was. Supposedly good people with a supposed great relationship with God rape people too.
I was leaving my voice out of this, because it gets me really angry, but to say being Godly might keep these things from happening? Yeah, I can attest it doesn't.
Can you let the youth group leader who plied me with alcohol on a church trip and told me what he was doing was okay in God's eyes know about God's intentions for sex? Because I was 13 and really quickly was really drunk, but he kept telling me that this was all fine, so perhaps you can let him what God actually intends? Because I was at the time in a rather conservative environment I never reported, so I'm sure he's still out there doing the same to girls just like I was. Supposedly good people with a supposed great relationship with God rape people too.
I was leaving my voice out of this, because it gets me really angry, but to say being Godly might keep these things from happening? Yeah, I can attest it doesn't.
It infuriates me that this happened to you.
Someone I love very much was sexually assaulted. Her attacker was a rapist in training. People like that know exactly what they are doing. They are looking for someone vulnerable, or they become very skilled at making that victim vulnerable, even if drugs or alcohol are not involved.
Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
A cardigan? Well, that explains it. Of course he couldn't be expected to refrain from violating her with his hands, foreign objects, etc., because after all, what's a poor fellow to do in the face of a woman who just isn't being "sensible"?!
Yes, HorseShoe!
I hope I was clear that even if she hadn't worn a cardigan not had a chaperone, she wouldn't have deserved to be raped.
I'm just saying to all those who blame her bx on her rape, that she did follow "the rules". Yet was still raped.
So awful to read that one of the men who saved her was so shook up by what he witnessed that he choked up and could barely explain, as he was so traumatized.
And I don't think walking in a "bad neighborhood" is asking to get mugged any more than walking in a "good neighborhood" is. OMG- does that mean that poor people deserve to be victims because they can't afford a 'better' place to live??
I think you should just shut your trap, seriously.
I worked as a hospice nurse, many of my patients were in high crime neighborhoods. I never once let that deter me from getting out of my car, walking up to that door and giving that person good care. I never once felt in danger, either. Some of us see people when we''re out in public, not clothing, skin color or social economic class.
Newsflash for you- you can be a victim in your own, nice safe Christian neighborhood and home. Being in a 'good neighborhood', wearing 'proper' clothing does not protect you from violent criminals.
I wasn't asking to be mugged, but I did know the crime rate in that area was higher than in some other areas. I went there anyway.
You have equated "bad neighborhood" with "poor people, skin color, social economic class". I never said any of that. I was referring to the crime rate, I knew the area to be one where drugs and prostitutes could be easily procured, where the hip, faster, beat crowd hung out. I foolishly went there anyway because I wanted to take a walk. Well, I got educated fast and painfully. I don't go there any more. Should I be able to go there if I want to take a walk? Yes. Do I know that it isn't sensible or smart to go there? Yes.
I was taught to not display cash in public. So I don't. Someone might want to take it away from me, so I use good judgment and don't display cash.
I give the best care I can to all my patients, without regard to their race, religion, appearance, poverty or wealth, or any other factor.
I don't live in a "nice safe Christian neighborhood". And it is not a "good neighborhood". It is mediocre, with many great people and some who are not desirable, as they are criminals. There is more crime than I would like. I will refrain from telling you that you should seriously shut your trap, but you do need to not read into what people write.
lifelearningrn, BSN, RN
2,622 Posts
Christians are a hated minority here and in the world? Are you from planet earth? I have a Christian church on just about ever street corner where I live. My kids and I counted over 200 CHRISTIAN churches on our last road trip, which was about 200 miles round trip. Last I checked, being a Christian doesn't make you hated, or even CLOSE to a minority.