Stanford Rape

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.

I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.

What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!

What do the rest of you feel about this?

[floridaRN38]

Hopefully someone will rape him in jail. And for the 6 months. I doubt he will even serve that amount. It is disgusting all around . I am sure he will do something like this again and it will be worse. Very sad.

[rac1, ASN, BSN, RN]

Hopefully someone will rape him in jail. And for the 6 months. I doubt he will even serve that amount. It is disgusting all around . I am sure he will do something like this again and it will be worse. Very sad.

Whoa. Uhh no. I hope that does not happen to him. Vengeance is not the answer.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

At least, USA Swimming has banned him for life. This means he will never compete in the Olympics as a representative of our nation. He will also have to register as a sex offender. Actions do have consequences, even if we don't think those consequences are an adequate punishment.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

Whoa. Uhh no. I hope that does not happen to him. Vengeance is not the answer.

I agree with you. I just wish this world was a better place where rape didn't happen period! I just hope the victim's impact letter opened his eyes to all the pain his actions of "20 minutes" have caused.

What troubles me is he did not show any real regret and instead was focused on his losses, as if he was the victim. His family and friends who wrote letters to the judge did the same. One letter tried to minimize what he did as drunk college kids getting carried away vs a "real" rape like a kidnapping and rape. Rape is rape!

In my years I know of too many woman who have been victims of rape. I helped a fellow college student who had been gang raped and then dropped off at the dorm go to the ER to be treated. She had been acting in a play with these men who she thought of as friends and they turned around and raped her and then dumped her off at the dorm like she was nothing! As a nurse I heard of many others struggling from pasts of sexual abuse and rape as both children and adults. This is such a prevalent problem and many times it goes unreported.

I'm just so tired of hearing of these rapes by college athletes who seem to think the world owes them whatever they want and they can just take it without consequence! It galled me all the coverage about what he lost; his coveted chance to go to the olympics, his scholarship at Stanford, his chance to be an orthopedic surgeon. The mom even cried about not being able to enjoy decorating her new house because of this, someone suggested paint it jail house orange. lol They even had the gall to set up a go fund me type account to help pay the lawyers fees. I heard the dad was planning to appeal the verdict when it was clear his son lied about consensual sex! I'm glad the jury saw through his lies. It sickens me what jury trials put the victim through. She expected him to take a plea deal and admit his guilt and here he gets a lesser sentence after being convicted of three felonies!

[quazar]

Wow. I had no idea the mother was a GYN nurse. That particular fact floors and disturbs me greatly (it goes without saying that the rest of the story is hideous). As an OB nurse, I have dealt with rape up close and personal, as have all of my colleagues, and to think that one of our "own" could be so insensitive is just unfathomable to me. The mother's refusal to support the victim and call rape rape isn't just willful ignorance at that point, and becomes something more insidious and malicious, IMO.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Hopefully someone will rape him in jail.

This makes me sick. No. Not okay.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Hopefully someone will rape him in jail. And for the 6 months. I doubt he will even serve that amount. It is disgusting all around . I am sure he will do something like this again and it will be worse. Very sad.

Totally inappropriate for a human/nurse to opine.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

As a mother of a son, and a victim of sexual assault, I don't put any weight on the mother just because she is an RN. Your first instinct as a mother is to protect you child. Being a nurse flies out the window. Please don't make this a witch hunt on the mother because she is a nurse.

I'm sure this boy wove his mom a big tale of deceit. She desperately wants to believe him. As delusional as that may seem, I get that. We never want to believe our children would deliberately cause harm to another human being. You want to believe you did better than that.

As a victim of a sexual assault and then attempted murder, it's the decision of the judge that angers me. It disgusts me actually. This "boy" does not need a second chance right now. He needs to suffer as far as I am concerned. I still, 17 years later, have nightmares about my rapist. I dream he finally got into my home and is going to finish the job. Those thoughts are always in the back of mind. I can still clearly see him pointing the gun at me to this day. I can still feel his breath on my neck.

This man has very severe problems. But it's not the fault of his parents. They never got pregnant intending to raise their child as a rapist. Never. They didn't. Somewhere along the way, this mans brain went down a different road. I've met people who have grown up in horrendous circumstances who are the kindest, most caring, people you will know.

I knew the mother of my rapist. He was a guy I casually dated who introduced me to his mom. We used to line dance together. Never once did I blame her for what her son did to me. Not once.

This woman will be affected for the rest of her life. Escaping it will never be possible. Hopefully she can move on. I did with my life. But, don't, blame the mother because she is trying to protect her son, no matter how misguided.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

I always, ALWAYS discount whatever parents have to say in these situations. Murderers who have killed people in front of multiple witnesses have family members who continue to deny their guilt or try to rationalize it. Denial in these kinds of cases it remarkably strong.

While I get that they will try really hard to see the best in their kid and beg for leniency, the amount of victim blaming has been despicable. The fact that the victim may have been imprudent in her alcohol consumption should not mitigate his sentence ONE IOTA.

[quazar]

But, don't, blame the mother because she is trying to protect her son, no matter how misguided.

I am not an assault victim, but I do have sons. No one is blaming the mother for her son raping. He alone did the raping. However, I do hold this mother accountable for her and her husband's blatant perpetuation of rape culture by making statements that it was "alcohol and promiscuity" that caused the rape, which is victim blaming. Yes, I get that mothers want to believe their children can do no wrong, but there comes a time when you have to be the better, stronger person, and have the moral fortitude to admit that your child DID do wrong, and they must now suffer the consequences. You can love your child no matter what they do, and should, but that does not mean you have to approve of what they do.

The difference here is that by victim blaming and refusal to call this what it is: rape, and instead calling it "20 minutes of action" and blaming "promiscuity," they are staunchly denying culpability on the part of their son, and are perpetuating the problem. That is a problem. A big one.

[ixchel]

Based on the first hand knowledge shared with me by a corrections officer, this boy faces probable physical and sexual assault by other inmates who do not take kindly to rapists. I imagine he will spend a lot of time in seg just to keep him safe.

I'm not saying that as a sympathizer to what he did. I'm a survivor of sexual assault and rape, and I'm appalled at how gentle our legal system is to sexual predators.

Thinking about this...

Anyone been reminded of the movie Kids each time this comes up? This makes me want to make sure my kids see that movie before they're allowed to go out with their friends without adults.