Jump to content


Registered User

Activity Wall

  • quazar last visited:
  • 603


  • 0


  • 9,750


  • 0


  • 0


  1. quazar

    What makes you say/think "it was a good shift?"

    As I was writing the OP, this meme was in the back of my mind. Love it!
  2. My heart just breaks for you reading this whole post. Mothers like you, and your experiences, are actually part of the reason I wanted to go into OB. To be an advocate for women and their babies, and to help make childbearing and motherhood a GOOD experience. I have taken care of so many patients over the years who share stories with me similar to your own, and I bend over backwards to make sure that their birth experience with ME, however it goes down, is a good one. As much as I am able. I used to have that judgey, sanctimonious attitude that you have also described, until I gave birth to a special needs child. When you have a special needs child, you are very quickly humbled and knocked down off any high horse you may be riding. You learn the value of recognizing that you never know the full extent of anyone's circumstances or what goes on behind closed doors, and to resist judgment and instead be as supportive as you can. It is a hard lesson to learn, but I am thankful I learned it, and sad when I encounter other mothers and nurses who continue to judge women they know only a small amount of information about. I hope for their sake that they have their own "aha" moment, and learn the value of non-judgment. For both formula feeding moms AND breastfeeding moms. For all moms, period.
  3. I love you so much for this. Spot on. Thank you!
  4. Just to clarify before I say anything else, I agree that there needs to be moderation in formula promotion, yes, and the marketing they do (especially pushing it in 3rd world countries with no reliable source of clean water. omg....). I think experiences and attitudes with breastfeeding vary by geographic location. Where I live, it's a very liberal/earthy/hippie/crunchy/granola-friendly type area. Freestanding birth centers, able to go shopping in actual stores (as in more than just one) for infant slings and cloth diapers, an active midwifery and doula population, lots of unschooling and homeschooling families, etc.. In my area, for example, on a playdate one time, one of my mom friends just sat down in the grass in the middle of the (very heavily occupied) city park and breastfed her 3 year old child. No one blinked. Bottle feeding mothers, however, get snide comments and the stink eye out in public often. I hear the comments made and see the nasty looks. I struggled to nurse my babies, and although I nursed both of them successfully into toddlerhood, I absolutely 100% HAD TO supplement the first one. I remember how guilty and embarrassed I felt giving him a bottle in public, like I had to hide. I was so relieved when he was able to suck effectively and my supply was adequate enough so that I didn't have to give a bottle any more. It took me over a month to get there, though, and it was a mighty struggle.
  5. The whole notion of exclusive breastfeeding, health (mental and physical) of the mother and baby be darned, is as damaging as it is ludicrous. Yes, breast is best, in a general sense, but not for everyone. I had a horrible time breastfeeding, and I teach other women HOW to do it. I thank God for the grounded, sensitive IBCLC who sat me down and said to me that it wasn't worth sacrificing my mental and physical health to exclusively breastfeed. She looked at my bruised, blood blister covered breasts, my exhausted, disheveled appearance, and gave me the "permission" I so desperately needed to supplement my baby's feeds. Some people act like infant formula is akin to poison, and that is not helpful for ANYBODY. What about adopted babies? Not everybody can or has the time to induce lactation, and the cost of donor milk is prohibitive. What about babies whose mothers die in childbirth? Yes, that STILL HAPPENS. What about women who have had breast reductions and have inadequate supply to meet their babies' needs? What about women who, for whatever reason, simply DON'T WANT TO BREASTFEED? Some babies are born and breastfeed beautifully, like there was nothing easier in this world. Some babies are born, and they (and their mothers) struggle for every blessed drop. One thing I have learned in the 2 decades I have been helping women breastfeed is that for many people, it DOESN'T come naturally and it IS a struggle. The shaming needs to stop, period. Mothers have enough pressure on them to do everything right, all the time, and it starts the moment that stick shows 2 lines. Enough. Is the baby loved, fed, clothed, and cared for by a loving and stable family that can meet its medical, physical, and emotional needs? Wonderful. That should be enough. Yes, breast is best, most of the time. Not always, not for every circumstance. Do what works for you and your family, the judgment of others can take a hike. Healthy, happy, fed babies, regardless of how they are fed, is the ultimate goal here.
  6. quazar

    The Cannibalism of Nursing

    SO true. I went through a phase in my life where I was just a flat out miserable, cranky person. I complained all the time. I insisted I was surrounded by horrible people and drama. Hindsight being 20/20, and of course having the benefit of the distance that 25+ years' worth of life experience and learning can grant you, I now know without a doubt that the problem wasn't everyone else, it was ME. It wasn't until I changed MY attitude and changed MYSELF that my life turned around. Food for thought and all that. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.
  7. quazar

    A Day In The Life Of An OB Charge Nurse

    I always eat on the way to work, as you never know what's going to be waiting when you hit the door....
  8. quazar

    Documentation: Your First Line of Defense against Malpractice Claims

    Amen to that. I was told by a (now former) employer the same thing, and some younger nurses have said I document too much. I'll keep my heavy documentation, thank you very much. If I go to court, I want it to be CRYSTAL clear what happened/didn't happen on my watch.
  9. quazar

    A Day In The Life Of An OB Charge Nurse

  10. quazar

    A Day In The Life Of An OB Charge Nurse

    I was thinking the same thing, some similarities but not a lot to the floors where I've worked. However yes, the sentiment remains the same: sitting and holding babies....? HAH. The impossible dream.
  11. quazar

    The Culture of Nursing

    Can we put this on a billboard? Can I have it tattooed on my hind end? Can I get that in a jumbo sized bumper sticker? CAN I GET AN AMEN??!!!??
  12. quazar

    The Culture of Nursing

    Bravo, agreed. I straddle the line between "older nurse" and "younger nurse" in that I'm a gen xer but have many years' experience. So I'm technologically savvy, have the critical thinking skills, but have walked away from more than one bad work environment without so much as a backward glance. I feel no loyalty to any company or organization, my loyalty lies with my family and myself. Period.
  13. quazar


    Love, love, LOVE this about my coworkers on L&D. You know if your baby crashes, you just have to wait about 5-10 seconds and people will magically appear in your room and start bolusing the IV or administering oxygen or doing whatever you haven't already done, and asking you what you need. The doctor will have been called, and if it's really bad, the OR will have been opened and people will start prepping your patient. A good team is what makes it all so worth it.
  14. quazar

    Scribes for nurses. Yeah I like that!

    I've only encountered scribes as a patient. I was in awe and jealous.