So Sick Of Rudeness At Work

[missnursingstudent19]

1. A patient was about 2 seconds from leaving AMA so I paged the MD because that’s the quickest way to get in touch. “First of all let me just say that I don’t like to be paged.” Like, the patient could have been coding, you don’t know why I paged yet so why start off like that instead of ensuring that the patient is OK?

2. Coworker helping me change ostomy which I don’t have much experience with. I was hesitating to stick on the pouch because I knew it had to go on a certain way but wasn’t sure how. “Just stick it on!” So I stick it on. “OMG be careful, it has to go on a certain way!!”

3. Walking out of the nurses' station to go give med. call light phone is dinging. Coworker sitting at desk charting says “Do you ever answer the call light?!”

4. Taking report. Go to one patient's room who says “??? she doesn’t have my medicine in her hand!” So I say “I’m sorry, I just got here. I’ll go and get your pain medicine.” Even though I still had one more nurse to get report from. As I’m in this patient’s room giving the pain meds, the nurse who I still need to get report from comes in the room and says “What are you doing? I’m ready to give report”

I’m just over it. It’s tough times right now so please let’s just all be kind.

[Nunya, BSN]

I hope you replied to every one of those.  Kindness is fine but don't let people verbally walk all over you.

[TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN]

It feels like incivility has been increasing way before the pandemic started. Now that everyone is under the gun from the pandemic the stress can bring the worst out in people. It doesn't excuse the behavior but the only thing you can do is control how you react to their behavior. Over time you can learn to let things just roll off your back. Now, don't get me wrong don't be a pushover but pick your battles as far as when to say anything back

I've found that some days everyone just wants to take a chunk of your backside, I hate those days!

[Emergent, RN]

I have found that the best response to rudeness from coworkers should be done in the moment. You can calmly and gently request that they rephrase that. You can say that you don't like to be talked to like that. Don't react emotionally, just state the facts.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I was a let things ride person for many years. I'd get annoyed, but not enough to say anything.  Not because I didn't have a backbone, but I just didn't feel every battle needed to be picked. Once I started addressing people directly when they were rude, I found that people were a little more cognizant of our interactions. We're all under stress these days, we shouldn't be taking it out on each other. Good luck.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

I would have had to laugh at the doctor not liking to be paged. Like, sorry, I don't exactly love getting in touch with you either, but here we are. ?‍♀️ (Wouldn't have said that to his or her face obviously, but definitely would have been thinking it.)

Sorry people are so crabby. I agree it's okay to address it quickly in the moment. Also, after cooling off a little, sometimes it's easier to find the humor in some of these scenarios. Sometimes folks let their feelings get the best of them, so it's in our own best interest to keep our own heads and keep things in perspective. A former coworker always said, "Whether you like me or you hate me, I get paid the same." I try to remember that when it seems like everyone is biting my head off.

[speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

10 hours ago, missnursingstudent19 said:

1. A patient was about 2 seconds from leaving AMA so I paged the MD because that’s the quickest way to get in touch. “First of all let me just say that I don’t like to be paged.” Like, the patient could have been coding, you don’t know why I paged yet so why start off like that instead of ensuring that the patient is OK?

2. coworker helping me change ostomy which I don’t have much experience with. I was hesitating to stick on the pouch because I knew it had to go on a certain way but wasn’t sure how. “Just stick it on!” So I stick it on. “OMG be careful, it has to go on a certain way!!”

3. walking out of the nurses station to go give med. call light phone is dinging. Coworker sitting at desk charting says “do you every answer the call light?!”

4. taking report. Go to one patients room who says “??? she doesn’t have my medicine in her hand!” So I say “I’m sorry, I just got here. I’ll go and get your pain medicine.” Even though I still had one more nurse to get report from. As I’m in this patient’s room giving the pain meds, the nurse who I still need to get report from comes in the room and says “what are you doing? I’m ready to give report”

I’m just over it. It’s tough times right now so please let’s just all be kind.

I think everyone is more prone to be rude when they are exhausted, tired, don’t feel well, dealing with too much. Most of the time, I just try to ignore it because I try to reason that nothing is worse than all my patients dying in the ER. But sometimes or days it does get the best of you - sometimes it really is wise to speak up and be honest in a nice way. I am one of those people that I left things just try to blow over but when they don’t, I become more and more frustrated over time. I am trying to do a better job of drawing boundaries but still have some work to do on that!

[Wuzzie]

2 hours ago, NightNerd said:

Like, sorry, I don't exactly love getting in touch with you either, but here we are. ?‍♀️ (Wouldn't have said that to his or her face obviously, but definitely would have been thinking It.)

I would have totally said it to them and not thought twice about it. 

[chare]

11 hours ago, missnursingstudent19 said:

1. A patient was about 2 seconds from leaving AMA so I paged the MD because that’s the quickest way to get in touch. “First of all let me just say that I don’t like to be paged.” Like, the patient could have been coding, you don’t know why I paged yet so why start off like that instead of ensuring that the patient is OK?

I don't necessarily read this to mean he or she didn't want to be contacted, rather, I read this to mean he or she would prefer to be contacted by a means other than paging (phone call, text messaging, Epic messaging, etc.).

Did you bother to ask how he or she would prefer to be contacted?

[caliotter3]

15 minutes ago, chare said:

I don't necessarily read this to mean he or she didn't want to be contacted, rather, I read this to mean he or she would prefer to be contacted by a means other than paging (phone call, text messaging, Epic messaging, etc.).

Did you bother to ask how he or she would prefer to be contacted?

Sorry, but this made me think in the moment: "by smoke signal!"  ?

[JKL33]

4 hours ago, JBMmom said:

I was a let things ride person for many years. I'd get annoyed, but not enough to say anything.  Not because I didn't have a backbone, but I just didn't feel every battle needed to be picked. Once I started addressing people directly when they were rude, I found that people were a little more cognizant of our interactions. We're all under stress these days, we shouldn't be taking it out on each other. Good luck.

 I used to get annoyed and say things back, not very productively--when I had to deal with the kind of things mentioned in the OP. Now, not only do I rarely say anything, I'm rarely annoyed.

Just can't care about OPPs, and every one of these are all OPPs.

[Davey Do]

I got a kick out of your post, missnursingstudent! You hooked me with "Like, the patient could have been coding, you don’t know why I paged yet". 

A seasoned childcare worker I worked with at The Anomaly Children's Home back in 1979 called situations like these "tiny murders". "They kill you a little bit at a time", he said.

It is good that you vented and got some good responses.

Happy New Year!