Silly random nursing thoughts, one sentence, NO JUDGMENTAL FOLKS ALLOWED

[wooh]

Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!

Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.

[workingharder]

"Oh Dr Head, yes you, Dr Richard Head, there's a fellow here wants to see you. He's with the IRS."

[Wave Watcher]

On my way up to the Ortho/Neuro floor when I was floor nursing and worked nights: (all the way up to the 6th floor)

"Please dear Lord Baby Jesus let the elevator get stuck....please dear Lord Baby Jesus let the elevator get stuck....please dear Lord Baby Jesus let the elevator get stuck!."

*Ding...elevator door opens*

Me: "SHIZNIT!!"

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

On my way up to the Ortho/Neuro floor when I was floor nursing and worked nights: (all the way up to the 6th floor)

"Please dear Lord Baby Jesus let the elevator get stuck....please dear Lord Baby Jesus let the elevator get stuck....please dear Lord Baby Jesus let the elevator get stuck!."

*Ding...elevator door opens*

Me: "SHIZNIT!!"

OK. Another winner.

(we joke about making sure we have an empty bladder, a pocket full of M&M's and an iphone with multiple entertaining app's, whenever entering the elevator at work).

[beckster_01, BSN, RN]

Does it cross a line when I tell my patients "I will address that problem in the morning, the night float's job is literally to make sure everyone stays alive tonight, and he will not change your methadone weaning schedule."

[brownbook]

Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!You knew the job was dangerous when you took it!

[hecallsmeDuchess]

"You really did not notice the sink-hole of a pressure ulcer on your mother's butt until two weeks ago and the odor was lost on you too, yet you change her every day?"

...smh

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

Does it cross a line when I tell my patients "I will address that problem in the morning, the night float's job is literally to make sure everyone stays alive tonight, and he will not change your methadone weaning schedule."

hahahah no. cause the night float might come down and say the same thing. They do where I work. And some of our frequent flier drug seekers know this and have said, " i will tell the primary team in the morning" to increase their dilaudid, oxy, morphine. I have to restrain from laughing when I hear that line. lol

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

"Okay, so, let me get this straight, you guys were both really drunk and out camping and then he charged at you with a flaming stick and beat you with it? You got beat with a flaming stick?"

"So, you ran into your barn that was on fire to save....your Bobcat..."

(Bobcat as in back hoe, not animal for you non-hillbilly folks.)

[netglow, ASN, RN]

Thoughts... thoughts.... could one argue that it was warranted to actually spank the butt of a young male cardiologist (and obvious mama's boy), for being a total brat? After all, it's that or a nap ... I wasn't going to play "I know you are, but what am I?" for too long and there just is no time in the schedule for him to take a nap...

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

Did you seriously just call me in to move your bedside table when you grown and able child is sitting right there?

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

"No, we can't have the government pay for a PCW to do your laundry because you feel stressed out." --actual real-life patient request. Actual NP's answer.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Sorry, I can't give you the passcode for the pantry so your entire family can gorge themselves on ginger ale, pudding and Jello, and before you ask, NO I will not bring you six of each in case you want them later.