Silly random nursing thoughts, one sentence, NO JUDGMENTAL FOLKS ALLOWED

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Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!

Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.

Did you seriously just call me in to move your bedside table when you grown and able child is sitting right there?

How about this real-life one: Did you seriously just call me in to move the blanket to cover your feet when YOU GOT OUTTA BED AND BACK INTO BED JUST FINE, and your ARMS didn't SHRINK while you were in the toilet?!?

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Specializes in Ortho Med\Surg.

Yes, I will massage your knee as I understand that the hip abduction pillow is annoying -- but I will STOP rubbing your knee and leave the room in a hurry when I see the "tent" that is now under your sheet you dirty old man!!!

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.

Squirting your co-worker with NS flush is amusing on a slow night. Having said co-worker shoot KY jelly more than 10 feet into your thick, curly, long hair is not as much fun.

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Specializes in Ortho Med\Surg.

I'm sorry, sir, your wife is dying. I know you think her groans are signs of her improving but it's actually discofort as some idiot turned down the dilaudid drip because her respiratory rate was 2-3/min and she's on palliative care. No, she won't pass a swallow eval and the only thing the MRI will show is that the mass in her brain has gotten larger. My heart is breaking for you, it truly is. I wish I could hug you right now, your wife is dying.

(I know it's not one sentence, but I've been thinking about this since last week)

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I have this enormous hate for the person that invented school and jobs, fml, my perception of nursing while in school ( heaven) despite the challenges, nursing in reality ( a living hell).

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Life is hard enough without having to pull black hairs from the upper lip and on the chin.

Yuck. Things we do to keep our old folks looking like ladies.

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Specializes in PTSD, Mental Health.

I can't stop blessing everyone's heart since I started reading AN!!!!!! The whole office has been blessing everyone's heart the last few days! ;)

Oh, you really did finish Social Work school bless your heart

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Specializes in OB.

While listening to a bubbly new nurse prattle on ALL day today, this line my mother used to give my chatty older brother popped into my head:

"Sweetie, I don't need to hear every thought that comes into your head."

Nicer than what I wanted to say, which was "Just shut up already!!!" :)

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A naked corpse was found and the cops knew she was a nurse. Her stomach was empty, her bladder was full, and her ass was chewed.

Cheater! That was TWO sentences! :p

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I accidentally spilled some vancomycin on my shoes yesterday while throwing away an old bag and wondered "Does that count as getting them clean?"

You can give an antibiotic pill that falls on the ground because the antibiotic will kill the floor germs, right?

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You can give an antibiotic pill that falls on the ground because the antibiotic will kill the floor germs, right?

Don't get all fancy. The five second rule works well enough.

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Specializes in none.
It sure felt like a full moon last night.

Full moon every night for me so let us bay.

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