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Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!
Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.
Totally not nursing-related but related to labels and warnings.
On my way to work, I saw a Milky Way Chocolate tanker truck on the freeway. The tank had a huge sign on its back spout that says INEDIBLES ONLY.
I wonder if some Homer Simpson wannabe out there thought it was a good idea to put their mouth on the spout, open it and let a river of delicious chocolate come cascading out... but instead got some caustic yucky chemical involved in the manufacturing process.
If that did happen, I bet the ED nurses who dealt with it got a laugh.
"I don't care if you are the father; if you don't know the last name of the woman who gave birth to your child, than you can't see her after visiting hours are over."
I seriously had to tell a patient that one night after bar close - he wanted to look in the rooms to see if he could find her.
If at first you don't succeed, . . . . . . . DO NOT SKYDIVE!!!!!
The Early Bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!!!!!
Don't Hate Bacteria, Its the only culture some people have.
Hukt en Foniks wurkt fer mee!!
I am not illiterate, I know who my parents are!!!!!
Why do Kamakazi Pilots where helmets?
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Nurse walks by. . . Doc, "YOU HAVE A RECTAL THERMOMETER ON YOUR EAR!!!"
Nurse, "Damn, NOW I REMEMBER WHERE MY PEN IS!!!"
Patient, "It hurts when I do this (Moving arm up and down)."
Nurse, "DON'T DO THAT!"
Nurse, "You have to start eating right and exercising."
Patient, "I want a second opinion!"
Nurse, "Your ugly too."
Obama campaigning at Nsg home, "Maam, do you know who I am?!"
Resident, "No Sir, But if you go up to the desk, they can tell you."
New Psych Nurse sitting with High Risk residents outside on park bench when a bird flys by and poops on the two patients. "WAIT HERE," she said panicked, "I'll go get some toilet tissue!"
Resident One to Resident Two, "She is crazy, when she gets back that bird will be a mile away!"
Nursing Home Residents on Park Bench:
ONE: "I got the best hearing aid on the market, IT COST ME $4,000!!!!"
TWO: "What kind is it?"
ONE: "Its Twelve O'clock"
Two men were jumping from a plane, First: "They didn't put parachutes in our bags!!!"
Second: "I bet they haven't even got anyone to pick us up down there!"
Man on deathbed: "Honey I must talk to you!"
Wife: "Rest honey, it's okay."
Man: "No, . . .I was unfaithful to you before getting sick!"
Wife: "Oh, I know that Honey, . . . That's why I poisoned you."
Been there,done that, ASN, RN
7,241 Posts
If I knew then.. what I know now.....