Screaming match with my preceptor

[jherd]

I'm just looking for some advice or thoughts on my situation. I am a new grad nurse in month 4 of my first job as a nurse. I am a 40 year old male. I work in an ICU. I have about 35 days before I am allowed to work alone.

I had a 26 year old female nurse that was "covering" me as my preceptor she has worked on my ICU for 3 months and has about 2 years overall experience.

SHe is pretty good at her job, not perfect but she is definitely a bright nurse and has a big ego.

Just working beside her she finds ways to make snide backhanded comments to me, like did you do this, you probably don't know what I'm talking about do ya? Or she'll see me do something and make a comment about it and laugh in my face.

Just really mean type stuff. Of course, she has developed a pretty good bond with some of the other nurses already like they go to dinner and hang out. So she's pretty well liked by the core group of about 4-5 nurses that we work with.

Anyway, she was precepting me and I was off the floor for a class for 4 hours and I had a pt that needed a stroke work up while I was in class. So Lab came up and drew about 14 tubes of blood. When I came back there were 4 labs still to be collected so I asked a preceptor about them and he said that those labs were already drawn.

Well of course they indeed needed to drawn and she started being condescending and saying that failed to do my job (which I did ) but she started berating me like I was a four year old and stood over my shoulder and shouted at me while I was charting like "don't click there, what are you doing?, do you know what you are doing? How many times have you done this, my god!"

and I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me. She told the director on me and has since started a bunch of gossip about me. Things like I'm a moron that doesn't understand the very basics. When I came to work they were all gossiping and they got quiet when I walked by.

I'm starting to be shunned by the core group. My boss called me in and said there was no excuse for me cursing her and she was right about the labs.

Oh and since this happened I have been messing up things left and right. I feel like the end is near for me at my job. Do you guys think I can salvage things or should I start looking for work?

Thanks

[AnnieOaklyRN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

NEVER EVER curse at work because there are always ears to hear it, whether it is staff, management, or worse a patient. Imagine being a patient in the ICU, already sick as can be, and your nurses are fighting and swearing, how would you feel?

I had a similar experience with a bully for a preceptor, so I can relate to your feelings of anger and frustration. It sounds like this is a toxic work place that probably will not get any better for you unfortunately.

I would look for other work because it is only a matter of time before they find a reason to get rid of you.... Good luck!

Annie

[Eschell2971, BSN]

Wow. I'm sorry to hear this. Here are some things you may consider and/or what I would suggest to you:

1. First, acknowledge YOUR mistake. You can not take responsibility for what someone else did/was supposed to do, only YOUR part of the situation

2. It sounds like your preceptor, although a good nurse, is an immature twit. You need to keep a PROFESSIONAL relationship with her and/or your colleagues

3. I don't know how you were blamed for what the lab didn't do, especially if you were in a class? As a preceptor, the RN is wholly responsible for the patients until the orientee is working solo

4. It sounds like the typical/stereotypical 'girls night out clique,' on this unit. If you want to stay on this unit, I would NOT allow them to run me away. You need to improve your nursing, prioritization skills, and overall patient care, but, ONLY keep a professional relationship with them

5. Although you were wrong to curse at her, you were ABSOLUTELY right to deal directly with her, at that point, about her unprofessional behavior. More nurses need to have direct, firm communication with their colleagues when it is appropriate

6. The gossiping must stop. If you hear someone talking about you directly, call him/her on it, in private, of course, and if need be, in front of your manager. This way, there will be witnesses, documentation, and a formal acknowledgement in front of the unit boss.

7. Make sure you document everything:days, times, names, what was said, by whom, etc.

I hope you can work this out. Maybe this is not the place/unit for you, maybe this unit is in transition, but, either way, what you learn and how you handle it can be useful no matter where you work.

Good luck!

[elkpark]

As a 40 year old male, you must have previous experience in the work force. Surely you must be aware that, however badly you felt you were being treated, there's just no justification or room for swearing at a coworker (esp. someone in a position over you) in the workplace. By your description here (which is all we have to go on), even your preceptor, however "mean" and inappropriate she was being in precepting you, wasn't employing any verbal abuse or foul language.

I would assume that your days there are numbered, one way or another, and I would not expect them to give you any kind of good reference in the future. This was an unfortunate way to start your nursing career. With a little more self-control, you could have left (if you really felt you needed to) on good terms. I hope that you'll have a better experience going forward.

[OCNRN63, RN]

You could try having a meeting with her and someone from HR serving as a mediator.

Honestly, I don't see you surviving this episode. In the long run, it may be prudent to just move on.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

I really hate when facilities put just anyone in the role of preceptor. Just because you may be an experienced nurse does NOT mean you're a good teacher.

I would argue that two years of overall nursing and three months on the unit does not make you an experienced nurse.

[klone, MSN, RN]

I would argue that two years of overall nursing and three months on the unit does not make you an experienced nurse.

I totally agree, particularly with the "3 months on the unit" part.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Move on. You lowered yourself to her level and there is not a lot you can do to come back from that.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

The story could have been told without "male" and "female". Not sure why we all can't be nurses! That said, it sounds like she pushed your buttons and you responded exactly as she wanted you to. Cursing at a coworker AT work is never good. You are on their radar now and had better watch your p's and q's =(

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

You should have kept your mouth shut, let your inept preceptor bully you, and come out the other end with your job intact. It sounds awful, and it is. The alternative is where you are now. Awful. You're never going to get a fair chance where you are. At best they don't fire you, and you get to work with people who'll make your life miserable. I'd start looking, and in the meantime hope things improve.

[neuron]

You said the 'labs still need to be collected'. This says you knew about the labs, right? Not to seem harsh, but if you knew the labs needed to be done, don't leave it to another nurse even if you are new to the unit or the job. Some nurses will spit you out that way even if you are new. They will not take care of you. Take responsibility for the labs and make sure they're done, even if you are in a class. Never scream back, but go to the manager or HR, or the head of the corporation (it's either your job or hers) if you are treated unfairly. Better than losing your job.

Agree with your preceptor on some things, but that doesn't mean you should take abuse.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

The moment you said you were "in a screaming match with your preceptor", you were wrong. I don't care what the provocation, screaming at a colleague -- especially a preceptor -- is wrong. You'll probably need to start looking for another job, and working on your anger management issues.

[springchick1, ADN, RN]

Why would you ever think it's ok to scream at a coworker? You're 40 years old. You need to start acting like it.