Screaming match with my preceptor

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · Nov 21, 2015

I won't jump on the bandwagon of telling you how wrong you were to cuss her out, by now you know how much that probably backfired.

It may or may not be a salvageable work environment for you. If this nurse you got in the screaming match with is part of the "core" group of popular staff on the unit chances are good that you will never fit in with this group. Whether or not your job survives this will depend somewhat on how much management favors the popular group. If management always seems to agree with whatever opinion the popular group espouses your days there may be numbered.

Even if management seems to be fair and willing to listen to all sides working with a bunch of people that you don't get along with can be at best uncomfortable, at worst almost impossible. For your own sake you may be better off looking for something else unless you are really committed to staying on this unit.

MelissaLoyRN · Nov 21, 2015

Hello!

Being a new grad and the lowest on the totem pole at work does not help your case. I don't even know that I would have reported her from the start because I feel that is "stirring the pot" so to speak. Sometimes you either fit in with your work environment or you don't. That is is something that I have noticed at my current job. It is a shame that your career had to start out like this. If I were you, I also would not have blown up as you did. That is not very professional. Remember to maintain professionalism because it will take you far.

Personally, I feel your days are numbered. You could try to work on your relationships with the staff, especially your preceptor, but that doesn't mean they will be mature about it. I would consider looking for work elsewhere. There has to be a place you can work where you confidently walk into feeling accepted, working successfully, and not be treated the way you have.

I am sorry for your unfortunate circumstance and good luck!

OnlinePersona, LPN · Nov 21, 2015

That's not a screaming match lol. I can tell you stories about a screaming match.

I personally would of set her straight in a way she knows you are NOT the one to have an attitude with BUT with passive aggressive dialogue that no one can report you for. But since that's not the case, I would stick it out. I would never let some dust bunny drive me out of my job or paycheck, Chile please. You just have a little over a month to go.. you can do it!

purplegal · Nov 21, 2015

Some of this was unfair on your coworkers part. It sounds like you honestly tried to make sure that the labs were done. It is not your fault that someone told you the wrong information (that they had already been drawn). Maybe next time if you are not certain, try and look up the information on the computer (if it is available), or call the lab yourself. Also, since you were gone for a legitimate reason, these labs should have been your preceptor's responsibility, or the responsibility of the nurse caring for the patient, not yours. You were off the floor, so I fail to see how it's fair to hold you responsible for the patient during that time period.

It also sounds like your preceptor is a bully, and has no business precepting. It seems obvious that your other coworkers and your boss are not supportive of you. With that being said, only negative consequences could possibly result from getting into an argument with your preceptor. Yes, she should not have belittled you, but, you needed to maintain professional even during this very stressful situation. Getting on the "bad side" of someone who has worked their longer than you and who appears to have a good relationship with the other coworkers is one way of making sure your experience their is not enjoyable. If you had previous problems with this preceptor before this incident, it probably would have been best to discuss it with your boss, and see about a new preceptor. Now, it is probable that no one in the department will be eager to, or even willing to, give you another chance. It may be possible to salvage things at work, but it would take a long time to do so, and I'm wondering if you would even want to. This does not seem like a positive environment for a new nurse. It's probably best to seek employment somewhere else before they officially fire you. Move on, find a more supportive environment, and learn to keep your calm with your new coworkers. In the right environment, you will probably make a great nurse, so best of luck to you.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Nov 21, 2015

IMO, you're both at fault. She shouldn't have treated you in such a condescending manner. However, her doing that didn't give you the green light to curse her out.

Unfortunately, she's got seniority over you--it may only be three months of it, but it's still three months more than you have. And while her attitude would be considered unprofessional by most rational people, your slinging profanity at her definitely IS unprofessional, no question. Especially if you did it anywhere in a patient care area. If it comes down to a "her" vs. "you" situation, guess who's going to lose?

This doesn't mean I'm unsympathetic towards you--far from it.

I would try to make amends. You don't need to try to be her BFF, but at least apologize for your part in it. Yes, "I'm sorry" is one of the hardest phrases to utter...but to be blunt, you messed up and big time. So did she, but you can only control what you do about it. So get on the high road and try to patch things up. And IMO, I think it's valid for you to request a different preceptor...though I wouldn't be surprised if she refused to continue precepting you, so you may end up getting one anyway.

And start looking for another job ASAP, because you are likely a marked man.

Sorry this happened to you. Best of luck.

imagenthings · Nov 21, 2015

I am sorry to hear this, but you cannot blow up. Not to say that I am never tempted, but I have a groove in my tongue from biting it. By blowing up you owned her bad behavior. People take control where they can take control. Again I am sorry that this is happening to you. Try to learn your responsibilities as fast as you can and it will be over soon. Nothing lasts forever.

Nurse Medicine Woman, ASN, RN · Nov 22, 2015

I totally agree with EvieRN. It was unprofessional and unfair of HER, the preceptor , and not you! Also SHE is solely responsible for the patients until you are competent to work alone. You said you still have 35 days before you went solo so SHE is the one who should have taken responsibility for the missed labs etc especially since you weren't even on the unit. You were in a class!! She should be using the time to guide you and teach you not humiliate you and insult and treat you like a kindergarten. Jeez, she should not have been teaching you in the first place. So bloody arrogant!

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Nov 22, 2015

I'm just looking for some advice or thoughts on my situation. I am a new grad nurse in month 4 of my first job as a nurse. I am a 40 year old male. I work in an ICU. I have about 35 days before I am allowed to work alone.
I had a 26 year old female nurse that was "covering" me as my preceptor she has worked on my ICU for 3 months and has about 2 years overall experience.
SHe is pretty good at her job, not perfect but she is definitely a bright nurse and has a big ego.
Just working beside her she finds ways to make snide backhanded comments to me, like did you do this, you probably don't know what I'm talking about do ya? Or she'll see me do something and make a comment about it and laugh in my face.
Just really mean type stuff. Of course, she has developed a pretty good bond with some of the other nurses already like they go to dinner and hang out. So she's pretty well liked by the core group of about 4-5 nurses that we work with.
Anyway, she was precepting me and I was off the floor for a class for 4 hours and I had a pt that needed a stroke work up while I was in class. So Lab came up and drew about 14 tubes of blood. When I came back there were 4 labs still to be collected so I asked a preceptor about them and he said that those labs were already drawn.
Well of course they indeed needed to drawn and she started being condescending and saying that failed to do my job (which I did ) but she started berating me like I was a four year old and stood over my shoulder and shouted at me while I was charting like "don't click there, what are you doing?, do you know what you are doing? How many times have you done this, my god!"
and I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me. She told the director on me and has since started a bunch of gossip about me. Things like I'm a moron that doesn't understand the very basics. When I came to work they were all gossiping and they got quiet when I walked by.
I'm starting to be shunned by the core group. My boss called me in and said there was no excuse for me cursing her and she was right about the labs.
Oh and since this happened I have been messing up things left and right. I feel like the end is near for me at my job. Do you guys think I can salvage things or should I start looking for work?
Thanks

"I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me."

Professionals do not respond in that manner. Especially while on orientation. What does it matter that she is a "26 year old female nurse ?"

Most likely you have lost this opportunity with your attitude.

If you want to continue on this unit, request your NM as to how to proceed with your orientation.

springchick1, ADN, RN · Nov 22, 2015

I totally agree with EvieRN. It was unprofessional and unfair of HER, the preceptor , and not you! Also SHE is solely responsible for the patients until you are competent to work alone. You said you still have 35 days before you went solo so SHE is the one who should have taken responsibility for the missed labs etc especially since you weren't even on the unit. You were in a class!! She should be using the time to guide you and teach you not humiliate you and insult and treat you like a kindergarten. Jeez, she should not have been teaching you in the first place. So bloody arrogant!

It may have been unprofessional and unfair of her, but that does not give them the excuse to get in a "screaming match" with the preceptor. That's childish and unprofessional and very well could cost him his job.

Nurse Medicine Woman, ASN, RN · Nov 22, 2015

@ Springchick1ADN

I agree. I think BOTH needed to handle it differently. When he felt belittled he should have asked her professionally to stop treating him that way and requested a different preceptor if possible. I reread the OP post and saw that he used a cuss word. Yeah that is NOT OK even when upset. Should have taken it up with management.

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Nov 22, 2015

I'm not going to tell you that you were wrong, but it did come out wrong. The writing is on the wall. I'd apologize to her for your part in it, and move on. Start looking for another job.

jherd · Nov 22, 2015

Yeah, I know....I just reacted....I pride myself on being a nice and professional person....I think that's why i'm having all these strange feelings of being upset and distracted at work...