I'm just looking for some advice or thoughts on my situation. I am a new grad nurse in month 4 of my first job as a nurse. I am a 40 year old male. I work in an ICU. I have about 35 days before I am allowed to work alone.
I had a 26 year old female nurse that was "covering" me as my preceptor she has worked on my ICU for 3 months and has about 2 years overall experience.
SHe is pretty good at her job, not perfect but she is definitely a bright nurse and has a big ego.
Just working beside her she finds ways to make snide backhanded comments to me, like did you do this, you probably don't know what I'm talking about do ya? Or she'll see me do something and make a comment about it and laugh in my face.
Just really mean type stuff. Of course, she has developed a pretty good bond with some of the other nurses already like they go to dinner and hang out. So she's pretty well liked by the core group of about 4-5 nurses that we work with.
Anyway, she was precepting me and I was off the floor for a class for 4 hours and I had a pt that needed a stroke work up while I was in class. So Lab came up and drew about 14 tubes of blood. When I came back there were 4 labs still to be collected so I asked a preceptor about them and he said that those labs were already drawn.
Well of course they indeed needed to drawn and she started being condescending and saying that failed to do my job (which I did ) but she started berating me like I was a four year old and stood over my shoulder and shouted at me while I was charting like "don't click there, what are you doing?, do you know what you are doing? How many times have you done this, my god!"
and I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me. She told the director on me and has since started a bunch of gossip about me. Things like I'm a moron that doesn't understand the very basics. When I came to work they were all gossiping and they got quiet when I walked by.
I'm starting to be shunned by the core group. My boss called me in and said there was no excuse for me cursing her and she was right about the labs.
Oh and since this happened I have been messing up things left and right. I feel like the end is near for me at my job. Do you guys think I can salvage things or should I start looking for work?
A separate issue: for future reference, it's always best to verify things like missing labs with the lab itself. They are the only ones who can tell you if a lab was drawn. A nurse may say the lab was drawn, but they could be mistaking it for another lab, another set of the same lab, or a different patient entirely. A simple call to the lab asking, 'Are there any outstanding labs on the patient in room X?' would have cleared it up. Then again, hindsight is 20/20.
A separate issue: for future reference, it's always best to verify things like missing labs with the lab itself. They are the only ones who can tell you if a lab was drawn. A nurse may say the lab was drawn, but they could be mistaking it for another lab, another set of the same lab, or a different patient entirely. A simple call to the lab asking, 'Are there any outstanding labs on the patient in room X?' would have cleared it up. Then again, hindsight is 20/20.
So sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately I have see this before. I have worked in units where the preceptors sat at the desk and let the new person flounder saying, "ha ha, they'll either sink or swim, ha, ha" Personally I cherish the preceptor role because it is my chance to leave a lasting impression on how to do patient care in what I feel is a safe and good way. I have worked in many, many environments. Some are horrible and some are awesome. I am currently in awesome and hope to stay there till death do us part.
That said I suggest that you turn this situation into a valuable learning experience. You have to learn that no matter how mean they are, you have to stay cool. If you can't stay cool than you won't do well in nursing. You think it's bad having a fellow nurse do this to you. What happens when a doc does it. Or worse when a patient or their family does it.
In the long run you will never lose by being silent. In the long run you will find that everyday there is someone that is out of control and you have to be the control.
You aren't going to be able to stay there, so I would like to suggest that you use this situation for some practice. Go to your manager and tell them you are sorry. Go to the nurse and tell her you are sorry. Tell her what you did not like about the way she was treating you.
Go to your fellow nurses and tell them you are sorry. This will be painful but educational. I have learned the hard way that the only way to deal with bullies is to calmly look at them and say, "Your behavior is not acceptable and I will sit here calmly until you are able to change it."
They are always so shocked that you called them on it and you have now shown you are more mature. They will be embarrassed in front of their fellow nurses, but in a way that you don't get in trouble. And in two situations I did see the person stop their bully antics and improve. Do this and then put in your notice.
There is a very slim chance that after you have done all of this they might let you stay, but I wouldn't count on it. However, having done this you will leave your manager with the impression that you can admit to your mistakes, take responsibility for them and grow in maturity. They might even not make you a "do not rehire".
Please let us know what happens. We do care.
Well thank you for such a well thought out response to me. If I do get fired, I have a military pension so I won't lose our home or anything.
I hate this happened, because honestly I have been 100% nice and polite all co-workers, patients and their families and I have a growing reputation as having a bad attitude. Even worse, I have heard that she has spreading around that I am incapable and an idiot who thinks he knows everything.
And I certainly don't think I know everything or act like I do. I was in the military for decades and often have kind of matter of fact way of working. And when I am taught a policy or "correct" way of doing something, I write it down and try and memorize it. And, I try and do whatever task same way in the clinical setting.
I was thinking about maybe trying to get some education in Case Management and maybe try that? Anyone have any experience good or bad in case management?
If I was you I would try to get a job in a med surg unit. They are usually chronically short staffed and need lots of help. It's really a good place to start and get to see everything. And they are usually kinder and gentler to new grads. From my experience ER and ICUs are very harsh to new grads. I say this with lots of experience in both. There are good units and toxic units and sometimes it takes a while to find a home. I have friends that went through 4-5 new jobs their first couple of years nursing because they had a hard time finding a good fit. This is very common in nursing and nothing to be ashamed of . My first nursing job only lasted about 9 weeks.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
When people have been snide or rude I have literally stopped what I was doing and just stared at them for like 10 seconds.....then moved on. Silence says a lot.
I would strongly suggest (in the interest of all involved) that you suck it up and pull the preceptor aside and apologize for losing your temper on her. Then go on to calmly explain that you felt she was frequently condescending to you and it was not conducive to your learning or to patient care. I believe there is still something to be salvaged. In my experience, and not just in nursing, these kinds of things blow over quickly. You may never be best friends with the little girl's clique, but they'll find something else to gossip about very shortly.
The least you can do is make right the situation as best you can and be the better person. Regardless of her mistakes, you made one too by blowing up on her.
Disagree with approaching the preceptor. The issue has been handed to upper management.
That approach will be viewed as an attempt to circumvent their involvement.
I have been there done that, it makes the situation MUCH worse.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Disagree with approaching the preceptor. The issue has been handed to upper management.
That approach will be viewed as an attempt to circumvent their involvement.
I have been there done that, it makes the situation MUCH worse.
Your point is salient and I totally concur. I wouldn't be surprised if the preceptor lied and said, "He made me feel threatened" after the OP attempted to reason with her.
Your point is salient and I totally concur. I wouldn't be surprised if the preceptor lied and said, "He made me feel threatened" after the OP attempted to reason with her.
There can be no attempt to reason with the preceptor. Approaching an accuser ( for any reason).. after the issue has been reported, is against company policy. Doing so will make OP's position much worse. He had a window to file a grievance.. after that.. it's all about HR policy, and management's interpretation of the policy.
The issue is now in the hands of the powers that be.
I disagree with the posters who say you should leave because you are going to get fired. Continue to command respect. You stood up to this ill-mannered person and showed her (and everyone else) that you will not take any crap. Acknowledge to management that you handled this particular incident poorly, but that you have examined yourself and learned from your mistake. Then MOVE ON.
If you have made it this far in your training you are likely competent and can successfully complete your training. As far as the clique - so what? Do you really care if you are one of them or not? Apologize if need be, especially to your boss, then hold your head high and keep going. Keep in mind if she was this big of a jerk to you, others see how she is.
No more cursing, no more letting her get to you. Hopefully she'll stop now that she knows you won't take any crap. If she gets out of line tell her you find her behavior unprofessional and then ignore her, don't get into it with her. Count down the days and just kick butt!
Hang in there. There are MUCH worse mistakes that can be made. Focus on patient care and do well. Don't give up! Best to you!
I disagree with the posters who say you should leave because you are going to get fired. Continue to command respect. You stood up to this ill-mannered person and showed her (and everyone else) that you will not take any crap. Acknowledge to management that you handled this particular incident poorly, but that you have examined yourself and learned from your mistake. Then MOVE ON.
If you have made it this far in your training you are likely competent and can successfully complete your training. As far as the clique - so what? Do you really care if you are one of them or not? Apologize if need be, especially to your boss, then hold your head high and keep going. Keep in mind if she was this big of a jerk to you, others see how she is.
No more cursing, no more letting her get to you. Hopefully she'll stop now that she knows you won't take any crap. If she gets out of line tell her you find her behavior unprofessional and then ignore her, don't get into it with her. Count down the days and just kick butt!
Hang in there. There are MUCH worse mistakes that can be made. Focus on patient care and do well. Don't give up! Best to you!
Commanding respect is not" I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me." Respect is earned, not commanded. ESPECIALLY during orientation.
OP's situation is well past the point of acknowledging his "mistake" to management. Management and HR will be applying policy to his behavior .
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I totally agree with EvieRN. It was unprofessional and unfair of HER, the preceptor , and not you! Also SHE is solely responsible for the patients until you are competent to work alone. You said you still have 35 days before you went solo so SHE is the one who should have taken responsibility for the missed labs etc especially since you weren't even on the unit. You were in a class!! She should be using the time to guide you and teach you not humiliate you and insult and treat you like a kindergarten. Jeez, she should not have been teaching you in the first place. So bloody arrogant!
While the preceptor was wrong, the orientee was more wrong. Not because the labs weren't done, but because of the self-confessed screaming and cursing.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I disagree with the posters who say you should leave because you are going to get fired. Continue to command respect. You stood up to this ill-mannered person and showed her (and everyone else) that you will not take any crap. Acknowledge to management that you handled this particular incident poorly, but that you have examined yourself and learned from your mistake. Then MOVE ON.
If you have made it this far in your training you are likely competent and can successfully complete your training. As far as the clique - so what? Do you really care if you are one of them or not? Apologize if need be, especially to your boss, then hold your head high and keep going. Keep in mind if she was this big of a jerk to you, others see how she is.
No more cursing, no more letting her get to you. Hopefully she'll stop now that she knows you won't take any crap. If she gets out of line tell her you find her behavior unprofessional and then ignore her, don't get into it with her. Count down the days and just kick butt!
Hang in there. There are MUCH worse mistakes that can be made. Focus on patient care and do well. Don't give up! Best to you!
Blowing up, screaming and cursing at a preceptor is "commanding respect"? Not where I'm from. The OP was equally as ill-mannered as the preceptor. This isn't making him look like a professional worthy of respect; it's making him look like an immature child who has no self-respect. Nor does not having been fired yet mean he's in any way competent.
sjalv
897 Posts
A separate issue: for future reference, it's always best to verify things like missing labs with the lab itself. They are the only ones who can tell you if a lab was drawn. A nurse may say the lab was drawn, but they could be mistaking it for another lab, another set of the same lab, or a different patient entirely. A simple call to the lab asking, 'Are there any outstanding labs on the patient in room X?' would have cleared it up. Then again, hindsight is 20/20.