Screaming match with my preceptor

[jherd]

I'm just looking for some advice or thoughts on my situation. I am a new grad nurse in month 4 of my first job as a nurse. I am a 40 year old male. I work in an ICU. I have about 35 days before I am allowed to work alone.

I had a 26 year old female nurse that was "covering" me as my preceptor she has worked on my ICU for 3 months and has about 2 years overall experience.

SHe is pretty good at her job, not perfect but she is definitely a bright nurse and has a big ego.

Just working beside her she finds ways to make snide backhanded comments to me, like did you do this, you probably don't know what I'm talking about do ya? Or she'll see me do something and make a comment about it and laugh in my face.

Just really mean type stuff. Of course, she has developed a pretty good bond with some of the other nurses already like they go to dinner and hang out. So she's pretty well liked by the core group of about 4-5 nurses that we work with.

Anyway, she was precepting me and I was off the floor for a class for 4 hours and I had a pt that needed a stroke work up while I was in class. So Lab came up and drew about 14 tubes of blood. When I came back there were 4 labs still to be collected so I asked a preceptor about them and he said that those labs were already drawn.

Well of course they indeed needed to drawn and she started being condescending and saying that failed to do my job (which I did ) but she started berating me like I was a four year old and stood over my shoulder and shouted at me while I was charting like "don't click there, what are you doing?, do you know what you are doing? How many times have you done this, my god!"

and I blew up and called her a smartass &*^*& and told her to get away from me. She told the director on me and has since started a bunch of gossip about me. Things like I'm a moron that doesn't understand the very basics. When I came to work they were all gossiping and they got quiet when I walked by.

I'm starting to be shunned by the core group. My boss called me in and said there was no excuse for me cursing her and she was right about the labs.

Oh and since this happened I have been messing up things left and right. I feel like the end is near for me at my job. Do you guys think I can salvage things or should I start looking for work?

Thanks

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

Doesn't sound good ...I would either try to patch things up on a personal level or consider moving on. You will not succeed with the whole unit against you- whether you're otherwise capable, or not.

[flyersfan88]

There is a phrase you may have heard before "two wrongs don't make a right."

You're on the bottom of the totem pole. You must remain professional at all times, even in the face of someone screaming at you. I would not be surprised if there were a target on your back. I sure wouldn't take too kindly to someone saying anything like that to me.

[KyRN😉]

You can't, "blow up," and cuss at someone. Idk what else to say other than, nope, can't do that.

[BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN]

Where I work, that would have got you a trip to HR and maybe fired, especially if it was going on in a patient care area.

She he has new nurse smarty pants syndrome and you have to learn to ignore it. No cursing at co-workers!

[LDAthleteNurse, BSN, RN]

This blows. I can only imagine how frustrated you must have been. I agree with the other posters that you are at the bottom of the totem pole and that means you will likely have to go out of your way to patch things up. If she trully is the way you described, then you're right, she is a rude, condescending little *****, but in the heat of the moment, you must remain tactful and professional. Wishing you the very best.

[BCgradnurse, MSN, RN, NP]

Have you apologized to her directly? is she open to sitting down and talking about how you can work together?

[julzzzRN]

I can only imagine the frustration you felt dealing with a nurse like that when you already have so much stress and anxiety to begin with being a new grad. People like her obviously have internal issues of their own and do not feel too great about themselves. They are clearly miserable and insecure on the inside and like to bring other people down with them. Always remember that misery breeds company. However, next time a situation like this occurs you have to remember to set your feelings aside. Work is work. Although it's tough, try not to let the emotions get the best of you. Do your best to ignore the frustration and just keep pressing forward. In my opinion, I would try to clear things up with her as hard as it may sound. Good luck to you I hope for the best.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Although the preceptor certainly pushed your buttons, it takes two to get into a screaming match. If one person is attempting to engage you, you have the choice to not scream back.

I would start looking for other jobs...

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

You need to be looking for a new job. Your days there are numbered. You also need to learn some effective anger management in the mean time.

But also, be looking for a new job because this sounds like an extremely toxic environment. Someone who has been on the job three months has no business precepting. Look for a place with formal preceptor education, so that people doing the teaching know how to effectively educate without berating.

[klone, MSN, RN]

I feel like the end is near for me at my job. Do you guys think I can salvage things or should I start looking for work?

Thanks

I think you should start looking for work.

[klone, MSN, RN]

I really hate when facilities put just anyone in the role of preceptor. Just because you may be an experienced nurse does NOT mean you're a good teacher.