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Professional nurses need to think about the words they use when they are operating in a public, professional, setting. Cursing needs to stop! I've been noticing something which I think is not good, to say the least, and in my thinking, does not put nurses in a capable, professional, or serious light. Before I tell you what it is, I already expect that some of you will attack what I'm saying as 'racist', 'sexist', or similar diatribes, but, I ask that you at least consider & reflect on what I'm saying. This is not a personal attack, but, a glimpse into our own profession & professional standards. I've been noticing that in professional or business meetings, many professional, educated nurses, mostly women, even women in leadership positions, will regularly curse as they're speaking to the attendees, some of whom are their direct reports. By curse, I mean specifically using words such as, '****,' or '********', but most frequently, it's the notorious f-bomb\****' this or that, all without embarrassment or apology or even the slightest hint of regret. Let me be transparent & acknowledge that I sometimes use 'hell' & 'damn' when I'm speaking with friends & we're just shooting the breeze. Sometimes, I even use those words when I'm listening to the news. At times, I also use or write words like 'azz' or similar nuances in our social media culture. But what I don't do is use curse words or other inappropriate & unprofessional language when I'm speaking in public & most certainly not when I'm in a professional setting, like a meeting or during a presentation. Again, most of the people I see doing this are professional nurses, mostly women, who are educated, strong, capable leaders, with some tremendous responsibilities. Moreover, as I have scanned the room in these meetings, from as best as I can tell in the short timeframes, many attendees seem not to be bothered one bit by the language. And it seems to me that many people are not even struggling with the seeming contradiction of educated women in leadership positions who are reverting to these crude behaviors, even in public. Of course, I have not spoken to everyone in these meetings & I certainly can't read their minds. If you're wondering if I have ever asked any of the speakers who are using foul language to not do that, I have and one woman even responded with, "point taken," and then she said something else that I've been thinking about: she added, "I don't usually speak like that when I'm with my bosses or others, but when I'm with my own peeps, I just feel like I can just be myself." Additionally, another attendee said, "Well, I don't mind at all, :****," as she was being funny & sarcastic. I responded that I totally understand letting your hair down among your peeps, as I also am guilty of doing, but that it just didn't sound good or look good for a professional, educated woman, to use that language in a professional setting. My main focus was the professional setting; my second focus was the language. When I was in grade school, my English teachers taught us, "If you have to use curse words when explaining or teaching something, then, your vocabulary is too small." I was also taught that there is a difference between public & private conversations, and I was expected to develop & use my vocabulary to convey concepts & ideas. I was most certainly taught that, "A lady doesn't curse in public." Now, I am no prude and I am not suggesting that no one ever curses. Far be it from me, as I think curse words, like any other language, have their place in our large lexicon. But, just as everything has its place, there must also be a commensurate time & setting to express one's self. As for this particular meeting, that's where we left it. Bu, I've noticed this phenomenon at different meetings, different settings, different days, different people, different roles, but, the same general professions-the medical & nursing professions. I think we can & should do better to not only uphold the evidence-based standards for our patients, but, we need to think about how we are portraying our profession on a day-to-day basis, at meetings, talking to staff, or in any public arena we find ourselves. The media can pick & choose how they portray nurses. But, we are solely responsible for how we portray ourselves. That's my story, in-my-never-to-be-humble-opinion. What say you?

Because not everyone sees it on the first 3 days. We're busy making our money. LOL. Thanks

Well, since no nurse I know works for free (except maybe Parish Nurses & even they have trade-offs, perks), of course a nurse should 'do it for the money,' if that's what he/she wants to do. As long as the nurse does his/her job, why is it anyone's business what the motivation is? Nurses, in general, need to get out of this mindset that economics are not important. Economics are important to any business & lifestyle and no one should give away his/her skills, time, education, etc, for free, unless it is clear that they are volunteering. I have even come up with a line when I hear nurses say, "We're supposed to care for our patients, so, I don't mind doing XYZ," to which I say, "I don't work for free when I'm at work." There is zero, zilch, nada, wrong with 'doing it for the money.' If someone has a problem with that, ask him/her to forfeit his/her pay, and see how long that lasts.

Hello: Thanks for this article. I am a veteran, black woman, & I voted for President Trump, on purpose. I am a Republican/Conservative, and I love politics. I don't generally discuss politics at work, unless there are very specific conversations, but, I don't initiate the conversations. I am not afraid to voice my political perspectives no more than others are not afraid to voice their opinions. If I am asked for my opinions or thoughts on a specific matter, I will give my opinions, thoughts, & even evidence. I do find that many of my colleagues are insular when it comes to politics and most people automatically think because I am black/female, that I would not vote for our president. I find it funny, to say the least, that many people who claim to be 'open-minded' are the very ones who only think of me in terms of my skin color/sex, yet are quite shocked to find out that I don't fit nicely into the box they have built for me. Most people are so entrenched in their corners that they don't realize they often live opposite of their political beliefs. For example, most working Americans say they want lower taxes, yet, they will vote for politicians & regulations that impose more/higher taxes. Our workplaces & work facilities are absolutely managed/run on politics, with everything from administrative meetings with politicians/lawmakers to the many regulations we have to abide by for our workplaces to the professional organizations in which we may be involved. So, as much as politics can be a hot topic, it doesn't have to be that way, if we all step back and look at the macro & micro pictures. Politics affects everyone of us to some degree, so, it behooves all of us to be informed and be able to respectfully & professionally respond to each other, politics included.

Hello: I think this question has be answered by individual nurses. Of course, there may be some macro-data and/or indicators, but, happiness may be defined individually for different nurses. Some nurses are happy in the ER; some are happy providing direct care. Some are happy when they are holding their patient's hand when the patient is transitioning from earth. Some are happy with the heartwrenching care of sick children. Some are happy in the boardroom. Some are happy teaching others in some capacity. Some are happy working with staffing agencies, while others are happy working part-time or PRN. The point is each nurse has to find his/her place where they are best used and that fits their skills, passion, & goals. I think it's also important that nurses understand that no matter what job/position they work in, there is and should be a life outside of the work facility. Nurses need to have time away from work to recoup, relax, rejuvenate, and reconnect with family & friends. Nurses should have hobbies outside of the work environment to just wind down, or they will burn out! A good, healthy, work-life balance helps to keep life and work in harmony, knowing that each brings trouble & joy in their own time.

Hello: Unfortunately, I agree with this male nurse. As a female RN, I OFTEN discuss female communication tactics & emotionalism with my colleagues. One of the primary reasons for all the arguing, 'taking things personally,' and other infantile behavior is that we females are typically acting out of our emotions, rather than out of a sense of professionalism & maturity. I find it very offputting to say to another nurse, albeit a male nurse, that nursing is "our world" and he is just operating in it. He is a professional, and that should be what matters. Period. Just as many females chatter amongst ourselves and frequently chastise men for some of their normal, male, behaviors, so should we females begin to self-assess and realize that each sex has their strengths & weaknesses, and we need to build/improve from those points. We females DO gossip, lollygag, and bring too much personal stuff into the workplace. We fuss & fight, pout & nag, with each other, not to mention hold grudges to the point we get so focused on "She said/She did/She looked at me," foolishness. Men, on the other hand, may get upset, even go chest-to-chest, and then, give them a ball, and they have forgotten everything that just happened in the last 30minutes. If you come to my workplace, you will frequently hear me saying, "Where are the men? We sure could use some testosterone to balance out this estrogen," but, unfortunately, I believe I know why more men are not/do not want to come into nursing. And, from a rational, standpoint, I can't say that I blame them. Too many women, everyday, for 12hrs, and then they go home to their wives & daughters!

Did you inform your colleague that she is wrong to do what she's doing? Why are you so focused on getting her 'fired' or 'suspended?' I agree your supervisors should inform her of the policy and that discarding medications at will is not within her scope of practice. Also, don't assume that you know what happens when you're not there. Someone else may have worked with that medication yesterday or it could be as simple as a pill dropped and had to be replaced. Bottomline: Communicate with each other first. Maybe you can help her before it's too late.

Hello: What is the cancellation/on-call policy at your facility? Last week, my facility instituted a new/updated on-call/cancellation policy. Basically, nurses are no longer cancelled, they are placed on-call, for their whole shift, up to the last two hours of their shift. Additionally, nurses are now being paid $3.00 per hour, for every hour they are on-call. Personal time can be used in addition to this new on-call premium, or nurses can elect not to use their personal time and only receive the $3.00 per hour. Previously, nurses were paid zero/zilch/nada/nothing for being on-call (which only lasted for up to 4hours, at which time the nurse was either cancelled for the rest of the shift or called to report to work by 11am/2300hrs). So, the differences in the new policy are: Nurses are not cancelled, they are placed on-call for their whole shift (up to 5am/1700hrs); nurses are paid an on-call payment of $3.00 per every hour they are on-call; nurses can be called to work at anytime during their shift once they are placed on-call; and nurses can be placed on-call as late as 2 hours before their shift begins. Also, nurses are to report within 1hour after being notified they need to come to work. As you might imagine, there are more negative responses towards this policy than positive responses. For example, night shift nurses are especially concerned about their safety/leaving their homes in the dead of night (sleepy, driving, safety); many nurses live more than an hour away; since nurses are now on-call their whole shift, other plans still cannot be made or events will be missed because there is no longer a time limit that a nurse can reasonably expect not to be called in to work (even at 2am or 4am); once a nurse is called in, the nurse is guaranteed to work the rest of the shift. More than a few single nurses with young children have been asking, "What am I supposed to do with my child(ren) once I am placed on call?" One nurse mentioned that she uses a night-care service, but she cannot drop off her child after 8pm. To be fair, so far, those of us who have been placed on-call were called either not called in to work at all, or were called at 2am (night shift) notifying us that we were not needed for the rest of our shift. But, I think many of us had already decided that we were going to bed, whether we were called or not. I predict that not many nurses will be signing up for overtime because those on OT are usually the first to be cancelled, and now, since there is no cancellation, only on-call, why put yourself in the position to wait around to be called for only $3.00? At least, if you only work your 3-12hr shifts, it is unlikely that you will be cancelled (or rare), and if you are not scheduled on a given day, if the census is high, they will call you and ask you to work (at least in this case, you're not waiting to be called to come in after being placed on-call). Let me close by saying these are the kinds of policies that I believe put good, competent, staff in the position or mindset to leave the unit/employer/profession. At the very least, policies like these put nurses more at risk of receiving disciplinary warnings because they are made to feel there is no work-life balance. Other nurses talk about how, "All this is not worth $3.00," and still others say, "Well, they're gonna write me up because how can I be expected to come in at 1am or even 3am, and work for the rest of my shift." The nurses who are single parents feel even more stress because they feel their kids' safety and lives are now at risk. Bottom-line: many nurses are saying, "It seems no matter what, nothing gets better for us; we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. Management just doesn't care about us, yet, we're supposed to be the caring/compassionate profession." What say you? Maybe you have some good suggestions, thoughts, and ideas!

First, all of the above suggestions were great (and funny). I agree with you, in that my time off is my time off. I don't have to answer or return calls because A: this is my phone; B: I am not on duty, with a pager; C: I already told you I was not going to come in, whether I am able to or not, I CHOOSE not to. I don't like saying, "I'm sorry," either, because there's nothing I've done to be sorry about. This language is typically used by females (I am a female), but, generally, males don't use this language. They are more to the point, much more declarative. Also, the notion that calling back or continuously answering a request is being, "Kind." How about accepting the first "No, I am not coming in," as being professional and "Kind," and not badger an employee who's spending his or her time off with family, friends, resting, or just dancing in the shower. But, I especially love the response above, "This is my job, not my life," as I've said this many times, to other nurses, some of which were astounded that a nurse would say such a thing (usually, the ones who work as much overtime as their base schedule). Just in the last 48hrs, I was talking with two friends who are almost burnt out and disillusioned only after being nurses for 2 1/2 years-go figure. As I told my friends, I will say here, "Nursing is my profession, not my identity." If you choose to go in to work for a request, fine. If you don't, that's fine, too. Guilt not necessary, nor warranted.

While I appreciate your honesty, what I'm gonna say may sound mean and incompassionate. But, I don't mean to be harsh, but, it's the point that's important. STOP YOUR WHINING and TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE! There is a time and a place for venting and even crying, but, at some point, you gotta get out of your own self and start living. You have NO ONE to blame for your choices, but, you. This is STILL America, and regardless of your parents' and friends' career path, you are free to choose your own. Remember, "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?" That STILL applies. Obviously, you hate nursing. Ok, you're not the first and you won't be the last. There are hundreds of other medical careers you may be better suited to do and may actually enjoy doing them. Stop wasting time because time waits for no one. One year from now, you could be in a totally different place, physically, emotionally, and professionally. It's IS a whole big world out there and there's enough room for you to change your mind and your career. If you wake up next year in the same place, same frame of mind, you will still have no one to blame, but yourself. No one has the time or capacity to just placate you as you play the victim. Make some changes, take a risk, but, start with you and your thinking. I wish you the best.

I would stop letting it "eat me up." It sounds like you did everything you were supposed to do, followed protocol, and used your nursing judgement. I would make sure you write down everything you have stated here, and go into the meeting confidently, not on the defensive. Just because a physician makes the final determination does not mean your assessment and judgement were incorrect at that moment. Plus, you have the ICU/Charge Nurse who assessed and documented similar findings. Stay calm, breathe deeply, and go in confidence! Keep us posted and I WILL be praying for you.

Wow! I'm so saddened, angry, and well, angry, at your experiences. Here's my two-cents and I hope it will offer you some perspective, support and encouragement: First, as important as it is for you to be employed, take this time to process, reflect, and think some more about your role in all that's happened. By that, I mean, take some time to think about every situation, everyday at those jobs, and mentally process the events, incidents, and outcomes. Ask yourself, ,"What could I/should have done differently at this point?" I'm not saying this as a way to blame you or have you beat-up on yourself, but, I believe that in these situations, we have to be able to step back and see ourselves as part of the whole system; and, more importantly, see where we could have done things differently to effect different outcomes. If we don't process these events, we will continue onto other positions doing the same thing. We have to face ourselves, as it were. Next, I would apply to Long term facilities/Skilled Nursing Units. As my former nursing instructor told us, "As a nurse, you may not get that 'dream job' the first time you apply or it may not be for some years. But, as a nurse, you should be able to work anywhere for at least 1 year, offering your skills, learning, growing, and being an asset to the company, your colleagues, and your patients." Keep applying, keep seeking, and do it all over again. I would also encourage you to review some of your basic nursing protocols, skills, etc. Yes, we nurses do make mistakes. I wrote about a medication error I committed once, too (You can find the article on allnurses.com). There is always some learning to be done as a nurse and the moment we think we don't have anything to learn, we (and our patients) are in trouble. What makes me angry about your experiences is that as stressful as nursing is and with all the nursing/professional organizations, conferences, seminars, and evidence based research, we, as nurses collectively, don't seem to present an assertive resistance to the systemic ills that 'set-up' nursing professionals for failure. I don't understand this seemingly willing acceptance of a work/professional culture that just keeps pushing more and more, yet with the expectation that nothing or no one will ever break! Lastly, take responsibility for your weaknesses. We all have them, as much as we don't like to admit it to ourselves, much less others. But, having them is not the problem-not knowing what our weaknesses are is much more problematic (and worse) than simply being weak in an area. Taking responsibility means knowing when we are not equipped to do something; knowing when we need to ask for more help, more time, and/or ask for clarifications; and, taking responsibility means knowing when to say, "No, I can't do that," Or, "I need more training before I will feel competent to carry out those tasks." I think knowing when to ask for help is one of the most effective and safe ways we can perform our duties as a nurse towards our patients and our colleagues. So, in all this, I hope you are giving yourself time to grieve your losses-they are real losses-and process what all this has meant to you. I hope you continue to seek employment and professional support; and I hope you grow tremendously as a nurse and as a woman. Take care and good luck!

In the past month, I've heard more than a few good nurses express what you're expressing in this post. As a nurse, I know that it's easy to get comfortable in one position, one facility, for much of our career. I'm not saying I never have down days or days where I question my being in this profession, but, I am a huge advocate of 'thinking outside the box,' and this goes for nursing, too. I am a big advocate of what I call non-traditional nursing, in that I advocate for nurses to have another stream of income, using their skills, but not necessarily in a traditional nursing/hospital setting. As a rule, I don't do overtime, and I don't take work calls when I'm off duty. I know this is not the whole gammet of what you're expressing, but, if I have anything to say, it's that you need to have an out-a different experience, a passion, a hobby, something that is equally important to you that you will look forward to leaving your job for, at the end of the work day. I wish you well!

What you need to do first is process your failure. Next, immediately go to the test review and then make a private appointment with your instructor. What class are you taking right now? I don't have anything to specifically say because I don't know what your class is and how you "bombed," your test. Keep me posted! Let me know how the meeting goes with your instructor.

First, take a deep breath! What you're describing has been experienced by 99.99% of all nurses who have SUCCESSFULLY graduated nursing school AND passed their NCLEX. There is hope. Here are a few tips, strategies, and constructive feedback I learned and/or received during nursing school: 1. STOP second guessing yourself-usually, as a test strategy, your first answer is the right one 2. There is a Nurse educator on youtube.com, Megan McClintock, who hosts a series of videos on test strategies and common mistakes nursing students make on exams. THIS IS A MUST SEE. I found it on my own, after I failed one of my nursing exams in school. Here is the link: 3. Learn how you learn best. Maybe you're an auditory or kinesthetic learner, but, you have to sit through lecture. So, as part of your study time, DO or LISTEN to a different nursing source on the same subject. Another valuable resource I found on youtube was like a lifeline: Michael Linares - YouTube 4. Study with a partner or small group (no more than 4). The best way to learn a subject is to teach it! 5. I was VP of my nursing school class and I did not have the absolute best grades. Grades flucuate and can be improved. But, when taken in context with your whole persona, character, etc, your classmates and advisors need to know you are trustworthy, safe, and confident to be able to help them with the needs of your class. I caution you to NOT take on a role if you are not organized, disciplined, and if you truly don't have the time to spare, while still maintaining and accomplishing your own goals, needs, and responsibilities. 6. Also, get some nursing study books, with lots of practice questions. I always saw my grades improve when I practiced questions as I was studying (even in a group), and as part of my final study before an exam. So, calm down; refocus; restrategize. You can do it! Let us know how you're doing in the future.