no longer nursing student

Published

Well I am no longer a nursing student. I had to walk away. I'm sure people will say i'm crazy because i didn't fail, was actually passing all my classes, I just couldn't do it. I don't know if it just wasn't for me or if it's just bad timing but I went into clinicals on Wednesday morning and the anxiety was horrible! I went through the morning meeting and everything, had done my care plan the night before and was fine. But i walked to my pt's room and I just couldn't make myself go in. I was frozen with anxiety/fear/stress don't know for sure, but I just couldn't do it. So i went and talked to my instructor and she was great, told me that she actually went to school for 4 yrs with some girls who totally got their degree and just could'nt do nursing. Made me feel slightly better that I was figuring it out early on. SHe did say she thought I'd make a great nurse and that when I was ready to come back that the school would still be there and that i could come talk to her. I think alot of my problem was i was just too stressed out and couldn't get my time magaged between my home life and school life. My child is only 5 and still wants ALOT of my time and i feel guility not giving it to her. We're very close and I've always be able to give her my all. And i was neglecting my marriage as well and what good will it do me to get my degree and be a nurse if it means ignoring my child & husband and my marriage suffers? While in school i just wasnt the person i wanted to be, always stressed out, getting snappy with my child & hubby cause i had so much homework or studying to do and they wanted to spend time with me and I just couldn't do both! lol My husband supported me no matter what decision i made, and we had talked about it for a few weeks and for whatever reason Wednesday morning i just chose to walk away. I'd like to give it another shot when my daughter is much older and doesn't want so much of me. Since i walked away i have to say i'm 100% stress free, i feel wonderful. I am disappointed in myself because i couldn't "do it all" but i know my limits and i knew i was crossing them and i was really suffering (emotionally & starting to physically as well) so i just had to do what i felt best. I wish you all the best! Take my advice and manage your time from day 1 and don't get so far buried you can't get out like i did! lol Thanks for all the support that you all gave me while i was briefly a nursing student!

Linda

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Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

YEAA!!!!! Doesn't it feel great to make a decision and act on it? I can tell you feel free. You daughter is lucky to have you and I think its great that you decided to give her your time now, when she needs it. You can go back to ns when she's older. Try not to be too disappointed in yourself. Being a mother is about making sacrifices whether that means limiting your time with your child(ren) for a few years, or putting off ns for a few years. You know you did the right thing when you wake up in the am and feel good. Enjoy this time with your daughter! :yeah:

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It is so sweet at night to be able to spend time with my family again instead of stressing out trying to get my homework done. Again, i'm disappointed that I won't get to be a nurse as soon as i had planned, but heck I'm only 32 and my daughter is only young once and school will always be there! I'll make it back eventually....I know it's in my future so I'm just gonna focus on me & my family for now and enjoy life! lol Thanks for your comment :)

Linda

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Linda,

This post could have come from me, except I had my anxiety moment on Tuesday, on my way home from clinicals. I couldn't bring myself to go back Weds, skipped class on Thurs, and made my decision to withdraw on Fri. My reasons are the exact ones as you have. I'm sure people will think I am crazy for withdrawing with an A average and doing so well, but I have such a sense of peace about this and I feel much more relaxed already. I am looking forward to enjoying some time with my husband and children.

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I wish you the very best in whatever choice you make in the future (and now). You sound like a very wise lady that has made the best choice for YOU right now.

God bless~ and we will be looking forward to you becoming a nurse in the future. We need caring people like you.

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I really respect you for your decision. I'm sure this was not an easy decision to make but it sounds like it was the best decision for you and your family. Like your instructor said the school will always be there. You can always go back. Right now you need to do what's right for you and it sounds like you've done it. We put too many expectations on ourselves and each other to "do it all." But who cares about doing it all if we're miserable and if it's not right? And so many times because nursing is one person's absolute passion we want everyone to feel the way we do. But sometimes the timing is not right and sometimes it's just not a great fit. I really admire your courage and strength in making the difficult decision and changes in your life that are the best for you. Good luck to you! Enjoy having a life again and enjoy your precious time with your daughter...

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Specializes in Taking one day at a time....

You are brave, don't be hard on yourself. You understand your limits and thats a good thing. If I had a 5 yr old, I would surely want to spend as much time as possible with them. Go back to school when your child is a wild teenager who wants you to leave them alone :rolleyes: LoL. Anyway, Good luck to you in the future.:yeah:

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Specializes in NICU Level III.

Sounds like you made a good decision. It's definitely not worth it if you lose your family.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Best wishes to you Linda. It's good that you're so self-aware and have priorities.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

I admire you for acting in what's best for you and your family. I comtemplate with the same thought of quitting school because i am so stressed out with the workload, not enough time to do anything but everytime i go to clinical seeing and being with the patient and doing stuff for them makes me feel at ease and happy to be there and that this is what i REALLY want to do but I am struggling with testing though. I am not ready to give up yet. If i fail because i lack the skill of taking nursing tests then i will find ways to become a nurse.

Good luck to you and Nursing School will still be there for you.

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Glad that you can now relax. Your instructor was very supportive in offering her assistance when you desire to return. Decide how long you want to spend with your family and when would be a good time for you to finish. Also don't neglect to see someone about your overwhelming anxiety. You need to make certain this is in check before you try anything stressful like nursing school again. If you decide not to return in the future well that is good too because you have only one life and you have to live for yourself and your family. Best wishes and remember you are always welcome here.

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Thank you for all the support! I'm was sitting here this morning a little sad because I'm usually in class at this time, but reading all your posts have made me feel so much better. I know I've made the right decision, I can see it in my little girls eyes when she realizes that I'm not studying, I'm going to play with her instead! lol I'm only about 4 classes from finishing up my Associate in Arts, so I think i'm going to do that through online courses for now and then when she's older I will possibly try to pursure nursing again. Thanks again, I really appreciate all the responses I've received!

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