Heartbreak and nursing program

[Herc1201]

Sorry every one this is my first post, I'm currently in my second semester of nursing program and finals week is coming up quick. My gf of 6 years left me two months ago and I'm still feeling it as if it just happened I haven't been able to study and all my assignments have been subpar at best. I even thought about quitting, everything I  have done to this point has been for us and it hard to switch my mindset to it being for my future. After getting home from work she just told me she was moving back in with her mom becuase I wasn't doing enough, I wasn't taking her out much and apparently I didn't like going to the gym with her. That I let the relationship die. I begged for her to stay and asked if there was some one else  and she had said no. I have so much regret at this point becuase maybe she is right I could have done more but I priotized school and work.  The worst part for me was the next day after the breakup I seen her with a guy at the gym and I remember that it was the same person I had seen prior to the breakup   I questioned her but I had so much trust in her I just believed he was no one. Come to find out she moved on with this person yet I still tried for a whole month asking for another chance I finally was able to stop but it takes so much for me to not contact her any more. At this point I'm just lost I have no drive, we had plans to get married and have kids. But I guess this whole time she was all ready moving on and I just never noticed. Even with the holidays coming up it's been rough I haven't studied since the breakup,. And I don't even know how I'm going to get through my finals. Even now I can't get out of bed and even if I do I just think about her and that guy being together. I blame myself so much I should have done more.. it's just hard knowing she has completely moved on and is happy while I feel stuck and alone. I'm sorry for the long post I just wish I had my focus back I was doing so good in the beginning and now it feels like it's all falling apart 

[FullGlass, BSN, MSN, NP]

I am so sorry you are going through this.  Breaking up can be very heartbreaking.  However, if you are still unable to function properly in school after two months, please seek help.  Talk to your academic advisor and let them know what is going on - they may have some suggestions for you.  I strongly advise you to get counseling/talk therapy.  Many schools provide this service.  In addition, I suggest you see a psychiatrist or PMHNP as you may benefit from an antidepressant.  

Frankly, your ex doesn't seem like a very smart woman.  She was unable to make some short term sacrifices for long term gain.  The best thing you can do is to focus on your studies and being successful.  Living well is the best revenge.

Best wishes

[Born2BAnurse]

Hello,

I know your going thru a difficult time right now and your heart is broken but trust me when I say this too shall pass. don't blame yourself unfortunately when it comes to nursing school you really can't have a life outside of school all of your attention has to go into your studies. I know it's difficult but try to get back into your studies to take your mind off your ex. You will find love again! Your heart will heal in time and she will just be a memory of your past. Please don't give up your dreams of becoming a nurse. Try to finish strong.

[zeeblebrox, BSN]

That chick wasn't worth your effort and time if she couldn't support you through something as hard to do as get through your nursing program.  Do your best to keep yourself together get through your program and get a great job earning good money and having usually 4 days off a week and then find a girl who can appreciate you and everything you offer.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

A breakup can be devastating, especially when you thought things were fine and got blindsided by it.  I doubt if this will help much in the short term but trust me on this, if she wasn't willing to support you through nursing school, she wouldn't be able to support you through all that life brings. Get back to studying, finish school and live your best life. 

[RuthL]

Big hugs! I am now retired so this happened a LONG time ago. But I ended up dropping out TWICE. Once when one of my children had major surgery and again when life as a single mom without ANY support made it impossible. I later went back and completed. 

If you feel that you can stick it out now by all means please try? It may actually turn out to be a great distraction. And I agree with the person who said if she wasn't able to stick it out for the short time nursing school takes then life's unexpected ups and downs would also be too much. From someone who knows very well how devastated you must feel now, there really is someone out there who will support you through the worst life has to throw at you. I had this happen for me and believe it will happen for you too. 

[JKL33]

You do not need anyone who doesn't want you.

Sorry to be blunt; I wrote it that way because if you were my younger sibling or such, I would want you to see things as they are and be actually empowered to move forward. Please, please do not spend much time feeling that you can't move forward because your educational efforts came into conflict with someone's superficial needs. I know this all feels horrible in the moment but it is true what they say--you are better off without this kind of thing. Try to process what I wrote in bold, reflect on it a little. You do not want to be the kind of person who is incapacitated because someone disrespected you and doesn't want to be with you. Aim to never again beg someone to want you. If they don't want you, you don't need them.

It is super immature and to consider a relationship dead because one partner is intensely working on a specific goal with a known time-frame for achievement. You are better off without that.

You're okay. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't need people like this.

Take care of you and get your butt going on your goals and dreams. 👍🏽