no longer nursing student

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Well I am no longer a nursing student. I had to walk away. I'm sure people will say i'm crazy because i didn't fail, was actually passing all my classes, I just couldn't do it. I don't know if it just wasn't for me or if it's just bad timing but I went into clinicals on Wednesday morning and the anxiety was horrible! I went through the morning meeting and everything, had done my care plan the night before and was fine. But i walked to my pt's room and I just couldn't make myself go in. I was frozen with anxiety/fear/stress don't know for sure, but I just couldn't do it. So i went and talked to my instructor and she was great, told me that she actually went to school for 4 yrs with some girls who totally got their degree and just could'nt do nursing. Made me feel slightly better that I was figuring it out early on. SHe did say she thought I'd make a great nurse and that when I was ready to come back that the school would still be there and that i could come talk to her. I think alot of my problem was i was just too stressed out and couldn't get my time magaged between my home life and school life. My child is only 5 and still wants ALOT of my time and i feel guility not giving it to her. We're very close and I've always be able to give her my all. And i was neglecting my marriage as well and what good will it do me to get my degree and be a nurse if it means ignoring my child & husband and my marriage suffers? While in school i just wasnt the person i wanted to be, always stressed out, getting snappy with my child & hubby cause i had so much homework or studying to do and they wanted to spend time with me and I just couldn't do both! lol My husband supported me no matter what decision i made, and we had talked about it for a few weeks and for whatever reason Wednesday morning i just chose to walk away. I'd like to give it another shot when my daughter is much older and doesn't want so much of me. Since i walked away i have to say i'm 100% stress free, i feel wonderful. I am disappointed in myself because i couldn't "do it all" but i know my limits and i knew i was crossing them and i was really suffering (emotionally & starting to physically as well) so i just had to do what i felt best. I wish you all the best! Take my advice and manage your time from day 1 and don't get so far buried you can't get out like i did! lol Thanks for all the support that you all gave me while i was briefly a nursing student!

Linda

:redbeatheI was having a very difficult time because I felt like I was spending so much time studying that I was doing wrong by my baby. I talked to my instructor about it because I was torn. She actually cried and told me she felt the same way only she had two kids when she was in school. She told me that in the end my daughter would remember all the good things, like being able to say her mom is a nurse, and not the decreased time with me for a 4 semesters. If it wasn't for her I may have given up. In the end you have to do what's best for you and your family.

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Specializes in CCU.

I say do what you have to do to keep the family strong. Everyone knows what they are willing to bear and for how long. Nursing school isn't really that long but it is a very stressful time. I am not a mother and I am purposely waiting to get school out the way before I bring in children. But I applaud all mothers who are able to juggle both nursing school and small children. It's very hard. Good Luck to the OP.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

op: i encourage you as well. i am a mother of two and have a husband who was deployed the majority of my time in nursing school. i know how hard it is... although i made different decisions because it is the best for me and my family; i support your decision because you feel it is best for you and your family.

in fact, i am impressed with this thread. the majority of posters are not trying to tell you to stay or return now as i have seen in the past (as if dropping out of nursing school or choosing not to be a nurse is a crime). continue to focus on the reasons you made your decision rather then the opinions of others and you may not have regrets.:twocents: good luck.

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wow...your courage is amazing. i also am a mother and a wife, and i studied nursing for my 2nd course, and yeah...i felt those things that you did. but i didn't have the courage that you had so i put myself up to it and endured the 2 & a half years of studying again (which sucked)...now i'm done and i'm off to do the exam...the thing is, right now, cant find the time to work too since my kid is studying and i have nobody else to watch over him...so i'm actually wondering when this career will start and hopefully put al that studying in use...

so, i think you made a good decision...we all make bad decisions at one time or another, but eventually we get the chance to make it right.

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my 2 cents - I agree that you have to do what is right for you, but I don't see how quitting nursing school is courageous. In the initial post, the problems seemed to come from stress and poor time management. These are all typical problems, especially in first semester. But then you rationalized quitting by saying you felt guilty about neglecting your family. You can find all kinds of reasons not to endure anything that is difficult in life, and if you use your family and children, then no one can really argue with you.

Of course we would all like to quit our jobs, school, etc and spend all of our time with our family, but that's just not reality for most people. Are we bad people because we make sacrifices (for a very short period of time) and work hard for a career we love?

I think the courageous people are all of us who do continue working, spending time with our children and keeping our homes and marriages together. Nursing is not for everyone, but I'm thankful for all my classmates and co-workers who continue to take on the challenge every day.

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good for you honey! You can always do it later. I'm 46, and have one semester to go, but I have gone the l............ong, slooooooooooooow way around. Take your time and enjoy your little one. My kids are teenagers, and it is much easier, when they're older. God bless!

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I think your choice was courageous...I wish I were writing your post. Unfortunately, my husband would not support that choice. I hate what nursing school has done to our family. Sure, I'm in school and keeping it together, but that's about it. I'm totally stressed and unhappy and feel like I have thrown away these precious years with my children. No matter how good my grades are, how much I like nursing, how proud I will be when I graduate, I will always regret my choice to do this now, and no matter how many people tell me it will be worth it in the end, deep in my heart I know it's not.

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I am so glad that you are making the best decision for yourself. I must say that I have a 5 yo son and I have been very stressed. I have gone through so much this last 2 years and I read one post who stated that you had decided not to abandon you child and that really insulted me. You made a great decision and I am proud of you,I just wanted to voice my opinion and that I graduate in about 100 more preceptor hours and I have not abandoned my husband or son and had to say something. I know it was not the main poster but I am not sure how to quote the other poster so please know where this is directed at. I am sure that life will take you in the right direction.

Jennifer

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:yeah:Linda,

I applaud you and sympathize. I have a 21 month old and am/was pre-nursing. Just the thought of NS and trying to do well in my pre-reqs was causing me to toe the sanity line. I'm always stressed, worrying, etc etc. I was going to take A & P 1 in the spring but had such apprehensions about it. I work full time (4 days during the week and 1 day on the weekend) so I only have 2 days a week when I am with my daughter. Just to do A & P I would have to drop her off at my parents for a few hours on one of those 2 days so I could go to class. It just doesn't seem fair to me, but something I would endure if need be. I love love love being at school and I know she certainly wouldn't suffer cause she loves going to gma and gpa's house. But I still feel guillty about it...

What really caused me doubt was when I got my holiday work schedule. I'm in retail so between Thxgiving and Xmas I have to work a mandatory 6 days a week. We will be open Sundays during that time. Since I only pay for 4 days of daycare I cannot work Thursdays. So I have to work every Sunday. I won't have a single Sunday off to do all those fun family holiday things... I'm sorta sad about it. This made me also start to re-think the path I am/was on. The NS I would apply to has clinicals on Sundays. Would I really want to sacrifice almost every Sunday for 2 years? Of course there's always summer and winter break, but 15 weeks at a time seems really long...

I found out yesterday that I could take 2 classes this spring and 2 over the summer (all online) and be able to participate in the commencement ceremony in May. This sounds appealing. I'd have my associates in general studies...

But my huby is convinced that if I don't go ahead with A & P this spring I will most likely regret it. So I don't really know what to do...

So I might be right behind you.... I really admire you for being able to make this decision...

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Linda,

I applaud you :yeah::yeah::yeah:for being able to make this decision. I am currently struggling with the same thing, only I'm just a pre-nursing student. I work full time and have a 21 month old daughter. I'm scared to death that the stress of just getting into ns will have a negative impact on my family. A & P 1 alone will mean that on the one day a week my daughter has me all to herself, I would be dropping her off at her grandparents for a couple of hours so I can go to class.

I know that I love love love going to class and she loves loves loves going to her grandparents house... but I still feel really guilty.

Then I found out that bc I work in retail I will be working every sunday between thxgiving and xmas... boo hoo!! I won't have a single full day with my daughter and hubby during this time. But if I got into the NS I wanted to get into I would have clinicals every sunday for almost 2 years (with th exception of breaks). How much would that suck? It's great bc I could still work and go to NS but will my fam end up hating me?

I just found out that I could graduate this spring with my associates in general studies. I only need 2 classes and I can take them online. After being in college for 12 years now, it sounds tempting.

So I may be right behind you. I really admire you for being able to make this decision....

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