no longer nursing student

Published

Well I am no longer a nursing student. I had to walk away. I'm sure people will say i'm crazy because i didn't fail, was actually passing all my classes, I just couldn't do it. I don't know if it just wasn't for me or if it's just bad timing but I went into clinicals on Wednesday morning and the anxiety was horrible! I went through the morning meeting and everything, had done my care plan the night before and was fine. But i walked to my pt's room and I just couldn't make myself go in. I was frozen with anxiety/fear/stress don't know for sure, but I just couldn't do it. So i went and talked to my instructor and she was great, told me that she actually went to school for 4 yrs with some girls who totally got their degree and just could'nt do nursing. Made me feel slightly better that I was figuring it out early on. SHe did say she thought I'd make a great nurse and that when I was ready to come back that the school would still be there and that i could come talk to her. I think alot of my problem was i was just too stressed out and couldn't get my time magaged between my home life and school life. My child is only 5 and still wants ALOT of my time and i feel guility not giving it to her. We're very close and I've always be able to give her my all. And i was neglecting my marriage as well and what good will it do me to get my degree and be a nurse if it means ignoring my child & husband and my marriage suffers? While in school i just wasnt the person i wanted to be, always stressed out, getting snappy with my child & hubby cause i had so much homework or studying to do and they wanted to spend time with me and I just couldn't do both! lol My husband supported me no matter what decision i made, and we had talked about it for a few weeks and for whatever reason Wednesday morning i just chose to walk away. I'd like to give it another shot when my daughter is much older and doesn't want so much of me. Since i walked away i have to say i'm 100% stress free, i feel wonderful. I am disappointed in myself because i couldn't "do it all" but i know my limits and i knew i was crossing them and i was really suffering (emotionally & starting to physically as well) so i just had to do what i felt best. I wish you all the best! Take my advice and manage your time from day 1 and don't get so far buried you can't get out like i did! lol Thanks for all the support that you all gave me while i was briefly a nursing student!

Linda

Specializes in Adolescent Psych, PICU.

Family should come first!

As a mother and a wife I totally understand your decision and I think you did the right thing Your kids will only be young once, nursing will always be there.... Online classes are a great thing!

Kinda reminds me that I was thinking about taking on one extra shift every couple of weeks for some extra money for my family and my oldest just looked at me and broke down crying telling me please don't. So of course I didn't.

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i think you did the right thing. abandoning (strong but true word) your children at such an early age is very detrimental, and it's not worth it. you can go back when your child is older and needs less of your time. but right now, your child is in her/his most formative years and needs his mommy close by most of the time!

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LindaLou,

I am sitting here almost in tears. First, I am happy for you. I know this was a tough decision but good for you for realizing what makes you happy. I am in my 1st year, 2nd semester and every week I have thought about dropping out of the program. I am so stressed. I have 2 girls and a husband, and I dont really spend the time I would like with them. I have sacrificed so much to be in this program. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that in a year I will be a nurse and resume a normal life again. Enjoy your baby while she is young and Good Luck to you.

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Good for you!! You put your family first and that is the right thing to do. I have always wanted to be a nurse, but decided to go for it when my son was older. I didn't regret the decision and here I am in my 40's going to nursing school. You are probably much younger and you can go back later.

Take care,

Jean

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Specializes in LTC.

Yes, I think she has made the best decision for HERSELF. I just hope others on this forum don't quit nursing school. First let me say, I'm not a wife or a mother. However, I'm a daughter of a mother who completed nursing school when I was a young child. My mother was a single mom of three kids. Yes it was hard and heartwrenching to see mommy study all the time and not spend time with us as often as we like, but I must say it was all worth it ! She wasn't going to nursing school for herself, she was going to make a better life for her and her kids. Now, that I'm older and a nursing student I don't resent my mom for making the sacarfices she needed to make. I'm grateful that she completed her education to make a better life. Yes kids are only young once, however in the long run nursing school will pay off. People say nursing school will always be there... thats not true you may decide to go back one year and have to wait on the waiting list. With that said... It all depends on the individual. I can totally see why some Moms and Wives quit nursing school to be with their family. I just hope that not everyone considers this. Take from a child who've been through this with her mom as a nursing student. It really doesn't effect the child that much. They'll grow up and see that you were not a quitter. Good luck to those who did quit, and wish to go back. My prayers go out to all the families who suffers with relatives in the nursing program. Well that was just my two cents. hope I didn't offend anyone.

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Well here is my 2 cents, I don't think my daughter will see me as a "quitter"...I think she will see that I love her enough to put her needs in front of my own, no exceptions. Like you said you're not a wife or a mother so I don't see how you could possibly understand the choice I had to make. Everyone has different priorities in life and thats ok, but it's also ok to put your family in front of your career! My family is forever, my career is not. Obviously your mother was a single mom and I give her credit for being able to get through nursing school to support her family because that is what she had to do, but there is no financial need for me to do this right now so I see no harm in putting it aside until my daughter is older and doesn't want so much of my time. And I give credit to the women who can swing it all: work, family & school, but I am not one of those people, no matter how hard I tried I could not find balance and my daughter was starting to suffer. Education is always available, just because there could be a little wait does not worry me, because if it's meant to be then it will be. The part of your post that offends me is when you say "They'll grow up and see that you were not a quitter." Well I don't think putting nursing school off to make sure my daughters needs are met makes me a quitter, I think it makes me a wonderful mother and that is more important to me than any degree I could ever earn!

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Specializes in LTC.

Sorry for offending you... Wish you and your family good luck. I agree with what you said 100 %. Everyone has their own priorities. Like I said, it all depends on the person and their own circumstances. Once again, didn't mean to offend anybody. And I totally don't see you as a quitter...

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Specializes in Gyn/STD clinic tech.

i am 26.. i can say that this is one of the many reasons that i am happy that i do not have children. all of the women that are no longer in 'my' class are women with children.

it's sad to say, but ns school is not easy for anyone, especially mothers.

i am just glad to say that for me ns is a wonderful experience, i am definitely a career woman.

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Specializes in ER, PACU, Med-Surg, Hospice, LTC.
Since i walked away i have to say i'm 100% stress free, i feel wonderful. I am disappointed in myself because i couldn't "do it all", Linda

Linda, you made the right decision! Be with your daughter and your family.

Nursing school will always be there. Your daughter is only young once.

I was an only child (until age 8) and both of my parents worked. My mom was/is a Nurse as a matter of fact. I remember the separation anxiety when my mom would leave. I remember how much I hated her being gone. I was a little kid and I wanted my mom. Sure my parents were working to make our lives easier, but I did't see it that way. Most little kids can't envision that at all. They live for the now.

I've spent many years in school and I witnessed people needing to put school on the back burner all of the time. I also saw people never even enter the Nursing Profession after graduation and others finding new careers within a few years.

I am a true believer that nobody can "do it all". Something always suffers.

It isn't quitting.......it is prioritizing!

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I applaud your decision! I am 1st semester nursing student w/2 kids (5 y/o & 8 y/o). It breaks my heart to hear my son tell me he doesn't want me to be a nurse! That all I do is study! His 5 y/o mind doesn't understand I am doing this for them! I think its great that you are putting your family 1st! Just make sure you go back & don't ever give up on the dream!

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Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

Most of the ladies in my nursing classes are moms and I am too. I've seen moms take leave and I've seen students with no children drop out. It's much harder with children and it sure is a personal decision on everyone's part. I continue to applaud your decision. I completed my first semester back in 1992, but just wasn't ready (and I had no children at that time). Here I am looking to graduate in May 2009 (with 2 children in school). School will always be there, wait list or not. If it's something a person wants, it will happen.

Enjoy the years you have with her at home, they are priceless. Life goes by very quickly. My oldest will be 12 next month and it seems like only yesterday I was putting him in the stroller to go out walking. Now, he's closer to getting his drivers license than me putting him in the stroller. :redbeathe

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My son knows I am not a quitter because now that I am in nursing school, he appreciates just how much work it took to get in and he sees how hard I work to do well. And Linda, you are right in that putting off school is temporary, but your family is there for the long haul. I truly hate to see someone leave nursing school for any reason, but part of the nursing process involves assessing and prioritizing, and if you make a decision, you shouldn't waste any time second guessing your decision. It sounds like you made a decision and are happy about it, and so that is why I say good for you!!

I know that the other poster was not trying to offend, and I agree that people have to make decisions that are right for them. In this case, I think that the op made the decision for herself as well as her family.

Take care,

Jean

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