I have been a member of allnurses for 10+ years. I've wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember. My mom was a nurse, grandma was a nurse (hence my name) and various cousins are nurses. It seems to run in the family. About 15 years ago I was a pre-nursing student. I was doing well. Then I got married and my hubby ended up on my health insurance because he was self employed and I had a full time retail job that provided insurance. I couldn't see a way to actually pursue a nursing career since, at least where I am, it would require at the very least dropping my work schedule to less than 30 hours a week which would mean losing our insurance. That was not an option since my hubby needed access to health insurance due to a pre existing condition and this was well before the insurance industry changed.
Fast forward to now. I have two kids, still work for the same retailer, and hubby has a great job that provides us our insurance. I've been crying for years that I wanted to be a nurse, and now I actually have the option to pursue it. Problem is - I feel paralyzed with fear. What if after all this time I hate it? What if my age is an issue since by the time I'm done with just my ADN I'll be 45 and will still need to continue to get a BSN? What if I don't have a strong enough stomach - can I physically/mentally/emotionally handle a job in nursing? Hubby works shifts - is it a good or bad idea to also pursue a career that requires shift work? I am currently registered for chemistry this spring but gosh darn it the doubt that's creeping in... I don't want to take chances, but I also HATE the job I have now and have only stayed there for 23 years now out of necessity. There are other pathways that I can take that will help me transition out of my current job that I think I would enjoy and would make a decent living doing, but I also don't want to throw away the opportunity to pursue what I've said I've wanted to pursue for so long. I don't want to have regret. I just don't know what to do and need a little guidance.