Advice - should I or shouldn’t I?

Sour Lemon · Jun 25, 2020

33 minutes ago, 3rdgenRN2B said:
I have been a member of all nurses for a very long time, and I’m just now taking pre-reqs for a local ADN program. I’m getting ready to apply this November, but I’m having some doubts that I’m hopeful someone out there can help me with either way.
My hubby is a cop. A rookie at that and doesn’t get his pick of shifts. We have 2 kids, one 9 and one 13. I’ve worked retail for the past 24 years so my kids are no strangers to me working weekends. However I’m having anxiety about both my hubby and I working shifts and what that will mean for our kids. What if we are both working overnight? Will I be comfortable leaving the kids alone? What if we are both working a major holiday? Will the kids be effected? My youngest is T1D - what if there’s no adults here to help her if she’s high or low?

I want to be a nurse, but not if it’s going to negatively effect my family in any way.

Anyone out there have any advice? Guidance? Even if it’s a “yeah, not a great idea” I need to hear it so I can make a decision. At 42 I don’t want to make any career mistakes.

Any obligation will negatively affect your family, but there will be positive effects as well.

My husband works full time and his job covers the family's health insurance. I work per diem and can choose my schedule with some restrictions. I have to work one major Winter holiday, for example, but I can choose which one.

Many per diem positions require between six months and two years of experience, but the time flies. If you're still taking prerequisite classes, maybe your hubby will be in a better position with his schedule by the time your schooling is done.

JKL33 · Jun 25, 2020

Definitely good to think and plan ahead, but this concern probably shouldn't prevent you from moving forward. Right off the bat, consider that you're roughly 2-3 years out from routine shift work as an RN - by then you'll have 16- and 12-year olds.

You and your DH can work together with each of your employers (via scheduling) to try to minimize the number of nights you're both working. Then you can either look for a responsible adult to help you on those nights, or come up with a solid family plan for safety for your kiddos to be home alone, whichever is reasonable and comfortable for you. Or, you might be able to land a day shift position (though not wise to count on it) or you might choose to work in an area with business hours. Your DH might be able get more day shift hours 3 years from now. While it is not good to count on these "maybes," they illustrate some of the many ways this can work out just fine. People do it all the time.

Also keep in mind that it is a relatively short period of time you will be dealing with this at all: Kids grow up fast and you will still have many viable working years after they do. Do you want to work retail until retirement or work in nursing (either choice is a fine one, but you need to ask yourself--and you deserve to keep your own future in mind while thinking it through).

mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN · Jun 26, 2020

I lost my job as a teacher @ 44. I went back to school and got my ADN. I have 2 T1 kids. My husband works first shift for TSA (0245-1230). We knew ahead of time what my schedule would be, so he was able to coordinate FMLA. As a parent of a T1, you (and your husband) qualify for intermittent FMLA. After my orientation, I made a deal to work only days and my husband and I have managed to coordinate schedules so one of is home.

The kids are now 16 and 19, so they are a little more independent, but I still don't like to be too far away (my oldest has some psychological issues so is not independent) .

It is totally doable!!! I LOVE being a nurse.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jun 26, 2020

"I want to be a nurse, but not if it’s going to negatively effect my family in any way." Nursing takes a toll on your mind, body and soul. It will effect your family in many ways. You will not be there for some holidays, weekends, and will work off hours.

Why do you want to be a nurse?

Wuzzie · Jun 26, 2020

15 hours ago, 3rdgenRN2B said:
I want to be a nurse, but not if it’s going to negatively effect my family in any way.

If this is the hill you are choosing to die on then nursing may not be a good fit for you at this time in your life. That does not necessarily rule it out for the future.

3rdgenRN2B · Jun 26, 2020

5 hours ago, Been there,done that said:
"I want to be a nurse, but not if it’s going to negatively effect my family in any way." Nursing takes a toll on your mind, body and soul. It will effect your family in many ways. You will not be there for some holidays, weekends, and will work off hours.
Why do you want to be a nurse?

What I meant is that I don’t want my family to suffer in any way bc at 42 I decided to pursue my life long dream. I’m afraid something terrible will happen bc I’m not there. Chances are, nothing will happen because I’m not there, that’s probably just my anxiety talking.

To answer your question, I’ve never not wanted to be a nurse. But I was the primary provider of insurance for my family for many many years. That changed a year ago and I started pre reqs. And now that I’m looking at actually applying for the program, I’m freaking out.

5 hours ago, Wuzzie said:
If this is the hill you are choosing to die on then nursing may not be a good fit for you at this time in your life. That does not necessarily rule it out for the future.

I have myself convinced that something terrible will happen if I finally pursue my dream. Even if I wait 5,10 years I’m sure I’ll feel the same. It’s my anxiety talking.

Wuzzie · Jun 26, 2020

5 minutes ago, 3rdgenRN2B said:
It’s my anxiety talking

Tell it to shut up.?

3rdgenRN2B · Jun 26, 2020

2 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:
Tell it to shut up.?

Thank you. I needed that.

Nunya, BSN · Jun 26, 2020

18 hours ago, mmc51264 said:
I lost my job as a teacher @ 44. I went back to school and got my ADN. I have 2 T1 kids. My husband works first shift for TSA (0245-1230). We knew ahead of time what my schedule would be, so he was able to coordinate FMLA. As a parent of a T1, you (and your husband) qualify for intermittent FMLA. After my orientation, I made a deal to work only days and my husband and I have managed to coordinate schedules so one of is home.
The kids are now 16 and 19, so they are a little more independent, but I still don't like to be too far away (my oldest has some psychological issues so is not independent) .
It is totally doable! I LOVE being a nurse.

Just be aware FMLA isn't available when you first start a job, you have to work I think a year full-time for it to kick in.

NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN · Jun 26, 2020

1 hour ago, 3rdgenRN2B said:
I have myself convinced that something terrible will happen if I finally pursue my dream. Even if I wait 5,10 years I’m sure I’ll feel the same. It’s my anxiety talking.

Terrible things (and good things) happen whether you’re there or not. At the risk of showing my age, I watched an episode of The Waltons where Mary Ellen was overly protective of her toddler son. The youngster got away from her and when they found him, she was in a panic and very accusatory. The father shockingly raised his voice at her as he said, “Mary Ellen, you can’t stop life from happening to your son!”

That statement had enough of an impact on me that it made it somewhat easier to loosen the reigns when my first born needed to go outside and learn what it felt like to scrape a couple of knees, or fall off a bike, etc.

Granted, diabetes is in a different category. But the training learned in becoming a nurse affords a different perspective on many things, and teaches us that it’s OK for the diabetic and the diabetic’s caregiver to get on with living life.

Have you seen that commercial where the kid yells for his mom saying that he has hurt his leg (or something), and the mom (relaxing on the couch) says “there’s bandages in the closet”; then the kid says that he’s bleeding. So the mom says, “get two”, but she never budged. I believe that mom is a nurse.?

Tomorrow’s gonna come whether or not you sit around watching for the million-and-one what-ifs to happen.

Go to school.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Jun 27, 2020

6 hours ago, BSNbeDONE said:
Terrible things (and good things) happen whether you’re there or not. At the risk of showing my age, I watched an episode of The Waltons where Mary Ellen was overly protective of her toddler son. The youngster got away from her and when they found him, she was in a panic and very accusatory. The father shockingly raised his voice at her as he said, “Mary Ellen, you can’t stop life from happening to your son!”
That statement had enough of an impact on me that it made it somewhat easier to loosen the reigns when my first born needed to go outside and learn what it felt like to scrape a couple of knees, or fall off a bike, etc.
Granted, diabetes is in a different category. But the training learned in becoming a nurse affords a different perspective on many things, and teaches us that it’s OK for the diabetic and the diabetic’s caregiver to get on with living life.
Have you seen that commercial where the kid yells for his mom saying that he has hurt his leg (or something), and the mom (relaxing on the couch) says “there’s bandages in the closet”; then the kid says that he’s bleeding. So the mom says, “get two”, but she never budged. I believe that mom is a nurse.?
Tomorrow’s gonna come whether or not you sit around watching for the million-and-one what-ifs to happen.
Go to school.

Either a nurse or she's a *^*$^*)@@_).