Jealous Friends...

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2015

I've personally experienced the crabs-in-the-barrel mindset, a.k.a. the 'crab mentality': when you're attempting to climb out of your current situation into a better one, certain people around you try to hold you back.

I experienced it from my parents who weren't particularly educated or college-fluent; therefore, they saw no immediate benefit if I attended school. I love them, but ultimately had to leave their negative, defeatist environment.

It is synonymous with crabs in an open barrel at a seafood market. There will always be one crab attempting to climb up and out of the barrel. Likewise, the other crabs are trying to pull the striving crab back into the barrel where they all suffer the same fate.

This mindset is summarized by the sentiment, "If I did not succeed, neither will you." I wrote another more detailed post if you want to click on the link below to read it. Good luck to you.

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-student/crabs-in-the-758617.html

elkpark · Oct 31, 2015

Really? You want to try this again? (I just finished reading the other "jealousy" thread ...)

Okay, in all seriousness and sincerity: No, none of my friends were jealous of my going to nursing school. Most of them were sincerely baffled as to why I wanted to become an RN, and voluntarily enter a "pink collar ghetto" occupation, when there were so many other things I could do. If anything, I had to defend my decision. I have had some friends and acquaintances look up to me and follow my advice, or try to do something I had done because they liked what they saw about how it was working out for me, and, in those situations, I felt a little flattered and was happy that I could have some positive impact on another person's life. I don't get your concerns about this. I don't waste much time worrying about what other people think or do in the way that you appear to be doing.

Best wishes for your journey.

WellThatsOod · Oct 31, 2015

Okay, we'll try this again.

No, I haven't experienced any jealousy from my friends. They are proud of me and happy for me. A few of them have chosen to go back to school, but not for nursing. However, if someone chose to be a "copy cat" I would give them any advice or tips I had, because I am the type of friend that helps.

The only naysayer I have encountered was my own father, berating me for going back to school and "making myself better than the rest of my family by leaving behind the blue collar professions."

Is that a better answer for you?

Purple_roses · Oct 31, 2015

Just wondering if anyone experienced jealousy from their friends for taking the steps in becoming/or being a nurse?
I understand some of you have been walking on roses and don't understand what this question means, but for most of us, have you experienced jelousy
1. Naysayers
2. Copy Cats
3. People that try to waste your time etc.

They're just jealous.

anewsns · Oct 31, 2015

Why would people be jealous ?

**NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN** · Oct 31, 2015

My aunt whose husband is an LVN is extremely jealous and bat **** crazy. He got his LVN about a year after me. I went through and LVN to RN program and encouraged him to do the same with me. He wanted to go through Indian state unviversity. I guess he failed out of one of his prerequisite. Years later I'm a trauma nurse for the system he wanted to work for. I feel bad, but their situation is not my fault. She has said some very evil things such as my sons birth is the reason my grandpa died etc. if someone is just a negative force, you may have to cut ties for your own happiness.

Karou · Oct 31, 2015

And please tell me, if you are so kind, as to why my questions are not belivalbe

You come to a professional forum with a middle school scenario. The whole thing is so petty, it's difficult to believe that any adult would indulge in that level of childish paranoid thought. Your responses come off as arrogant and only make you seem more irrational and strange.

Most people would be complimented/flattered by inspiring their friends to become nurses, instead of feeling threatened, suspicious, and paranoid. Many here have said that yes, they happily encouraged others to become nurses and assisted them. I literally did the work for my friends in terms of research to apply to nursing school. Your reaction is so strange, it's almost unreal.

Are you the one who is jealous now that they are now pursing nursing?

BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Oct 31, 2015

You are correct,..I don't understand the concept of someone being jealous of me going to school or any career path I have chosen. My friends and family may be proud of me, they may think I'm crazy ie "I don't know how you do that job", but jealousy isn't something I've been exposed to. My brother is an architect, my Mom is an RT, I have several nurses in the family, a couple of doctors, a financial advisor and a few attorneys. I have no reason to be jealous of any of their career paths, they worked hard for where they are, as did I. I made my choice and they made theirs,..where does jealousy fit in?

quiltynurse56, LPN, LVN · Oct 31, 2015

Okay, so you have a lot going on in your life right now. I can tell you that you are not the only one. I bet all of us have had stressors going on in our lives. I have had things happen which is why I currently do not have my RN. I know I will get it.

We do our best to handle outside stressors and school. This is called being an adult. So, please, take a step back and take it one step at a time.

No, I haven't had anyone jealous of me being a nurse.

SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2015

Upward_bound, if you continue worrying about what other people are doing and why they are doing it, you will be going nowhere but down.

VANurse2010 · Oct 31, 2015

It is not appropriate to repost a thread because you don't like and couldn't control the responses in a previous one. The only maturity issues I'm seeing here are with you.

Emergent, RN · Oct 31, 2015

They all are jealous of me and my multi-million dollar income, posh lifestyle, big mansion, not to mention my fleet of cars and my yacht. Plus, wherever I go, paparazzi and fans flock. Soon I'll be getting my own reality show, how cool is that?