Jealous Friends...

Trauma Columnist · Oct 31, 2015

Merged two threads.....please be polite and adhere to the terms of service.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 31, 2015

Nope never jealousy on my friends' or family's part. But then again, they are mature and secure in who they are. I don't associate with those who are not.

Really simple OP. I don't see at all what makes your OP worth so many responses.

ETA: I have looked at other threads by you. You definitely have growing up to do. Sounds like you also need to change the company you keep.

Best of luck.

direw0lf, BSN · Oct 31, 2015

Oh. Ok first I've replied to you a few times Upward_Bound :) You know I haven't judged you I hope. I'm saying this with your best interest on my mind, you are having enough trouble as it is in your prereqs, by making posts like this one (worrying about other people going back to college to the point you need to make a post) when it's really just taking away from your studies, is going to just hurt you. No wonder you aren't getting a better grade in A&P. I wouldn't and no one else would. You have to put life in imaginary cups. One cup is "what matters" another cup is "when I have time" and the last cup is "DISTRACTIONS AND NEGATIVITY" and stuff like jealousy or if someone else is benefiting from your decisions or something, all that is just distractions and negativity and that cup should get washed and put on the shelf or just don't touch it. If you find you can't focus on what will help you succeed because your focus is on the negative cup maybe talking to a therapist will help.

Edit typo

UnicornMagic · Oct 31, 2015

I think I feel this way because they have never helped me with anything, and after I did all the research and work, I told them what my plan was and now their copying it but without any hard work.

You don't even know the differences and overlaps between ADN, BSN, RN so exactly what "research and work" have you done? You are not a nurse. You are not in a nursing program. You haven't completed your nursing prerequisites. You don't even know if you can pass A&P, so perhaps you should come back down to planet Earth and realize that you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of.

OP, you sound like a horrible friend. My hope is that these friends of yours find this forum, and sniff you out, because they deserve better. The vast majority of your posts are you whining about one thing or another, and getting defensive when anyone tells you something you don't want to hear.

This forum is full of educated, experienced professionals who take time out of their busy lives to encourage and offer advice to us newbies. You should learn some humility, and be grateful to have anyone even acknowledge some of the nonsense you have posted.

To answer your question- no, I have not experienced jealousy. My I absolutely love and adore my friends, and the feeling is mutual. We are all rational, mature adults who support and uplift each other. We all encourage professional and educational growth, and would NEVER question each other's motives for wanting to improve our lives.

Grow up.

WellThatsOod · Oct 31, 2015

Never mind. I found it.

Consider this deleted!

Upward_Bound · Oct 31, 2015

Oh. Ok first I've replied to you a few times Upward_Bound :) You know I haven't judged you I hope. I'm saying this with your best interest on my mind, you are having enough trouble as it is in your prereqs, by making posts like this one (worrying about other people going back to college to the point you need to make a post) when it's really just taking away from your studies, is going to just hurt you. No wonder you aren't getting a better grade in A&P. I wouldn't and no one else would. You have to put life in imaginary cups. One cup is "what matters" another cup is "when I have time" and the last cup is "DISTRACTIONS AND NEGATIVITY" and stuff like jealousy or if someone else is benefiting from your decisions or something, all that is just distractions and negativity and that cup should get washed and put on the shelf or just don't touch it. If you find you can't focus on what will help you succeed because your focus is on the negative cup maybe talking to a therapist will help.
Edit typo

Thank you, and thank you for not judging me and always being positive.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2015

Allow me to elaborate.
I come from a place where people don't do very much, so as TheCommuter described in his/her comment, where people measure success in the terms of "If I didn't do it, neither will you". Or people are afraid you will leave them, then they want to follow in your exact footsteps (which again, people have given me flack for)

Absolutely none of what you've said about these friends makes them sound jealous. They sound as they are inspired by what you have told them about nursing and also want to improve their lives.

Quite frankly, based on your posts, the only one who sounds threatened and resentful is you. It sounds as if you wanted the "glory" of becoming a nurse and don't want any of your friends to share in that. But it's free country; they are allowed to have career aspirations also.

If anyone has ever been jealous of my being a nurse, they sure never let on. I think they respect it, but none of them want to do it. And seeing that most of my friends who have the same level of education as I do, but make 2-10 times what I make (not exaggerating) in other well respected careers, there would be little reason for them to be jealous of me.

By the way, the fact that not everyone is privy to all the relevant facts of your life and friendship doesn't make them "delusional." It simply means they are basing their responses on the information YOU have provided.

My mom used to say "You just worry about you, and that will keep you plenty busy." And she was right!

Upward_Bound · Oct 31, 2015

You don't even know the differences and overlaps between ADN, BSN, RN so exactly what "research and work" have you done? You are not a nurse. You are not in a nursing program. You haven't completed your nursing prerequisites. You don't even know if you can pass A&P, so perhaps you should come back down to planet Earth and realize that you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of.
OP, you sound like a horrible friend. My hope is that these friends of yours find this forum, and sniff you out, because they deserve better. The vast majority of your posts are you whining about one thing or another, and getting defensive when anyone tells you something you don't want to hear.
This forum is full of educated, experienced professionals who take time out of their busy lives to encourage and offer advice to us newbies. You should learn some humility, and be grateful to have anyone even acknowledge some of the nonsense you have posted.
To answer your question- no, I have not experienced jealousy. My I absolutely love and adore my friends, and the feeling is mutual. We are all rational, mature adults who support and uplift each other. We all encourage professional and educational growth, and would NEVER question each other's motives for wanting to improve our lives.
Grow up.

I am growing up.

I'm asking questions that pertain to my potential future.

And I often refer to RN and ADN as the same thing so I may not have said it right, but I do know what I'm talking about.

Your friends are all rational, you're all adults, blah blah blah. AGAIN, that's great for YOU. I envy you, but my life has not been full of people with good intentions. If I had educated friends, family, etc, I would probably be asking them for advice on questions like this first before going to forums.

The hard work I'm talking about is research. Like what schools do I have the best chance of attending, what order to take the prerequisites, meeting with various school advisors, (in state and out of state), phone calls, emails, posting on boards, volunteering, etc. Close to a year's worth of research. And I'm in my second and last semester of pre-nursing. You probably didn't understand any of this since all of your friends are educated and so successful right?

About me being a horrible friend/learning humility. That is your opinion. I'm trying to learn things, but to say that I am the bad friend is simple a false statement. Since you have selective thinking/reading, you missed the part where I clarify as to why I feel this way. Because they have not been good friends to me. I have been helping them for years and am at the "mature" phase in life where I realize that all my friendships are not mutual.

But again ,God has blessed you with wonderful people in your life so this is impossible for you to understand.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2015

The hard work I'm talking about is research. Like what schools do I have the best chance of attending, what order to take the prerequisites, meeting with various school advisors, (in state and out of state), phone calls, emails, posting on boards, volunteering, etc. Close to a year's worth of research. And I'm in my second and last semester of pre-nursing. You probably didn't understand any of this since all of your friends are educated and so successful right?

I still don't see how this is relevant. So your friends have benefited to a small degree from your research. If they didn't get this information from you, they would have gotten it from somewhere else, and likely in far less time than you describe. And if they did get it from you, their FRIEND, what is the harm? Isn't that what friends do for each other-help each other, give good advice, save each other work if it's in your power to do so?

You could choose to view this as a grand adventure that you all will take together, which would create even stronger bonds as you weather the storm of school together. But apparently you don't see it that way. You did the "research," so you and you alone are entitled to take that to the next level.

I don't know what kind of friends these are to you, but it doesn't sound as if you are a great friend to them either, given the tremendous resentment you carry for having unwittingly helped them out with the information gained by your "research." You can't be happy for them, you can't be glad to have been of help to a "friend." You can try to reframe this as much as you want, but each time you do, it still comes off that you are mad that these friends are going to steal some of the glory from you-that you wanted to be the ONLY one to call herself RN and impress others with your accomplishments. And by following in your footsteps, they are stealing your thunder. I just don't see this as the viewpoint a true friend would take. It sounds like neither you nor these friends bring anything of benefit to the table. Perhaps you should find some new friends who have neither the desire nor the means to become educated and improve their lives. That way, with your advanced education, you can feel secure and be admired rather than being considered a peer.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2015

I am growing up.
I'm asking questions that pertain to my potential future.
And I often refer to RN and ADN as the same thing so I may not have said it right, but I do know what I'm talking about.
Your friends are all rational, you're all adults, blah blah blah. AGAIN, that's great for YOU. I envy you, but my life has not been full of people with good intentions. If I had educated friends, family, etc, I would probably be asking them for advice on questions like this first before going to forums.
The hard work I'm talking about is research. Like what schools do I have the best chance of attending, what order to take the prerequisites, meeting with various school advisors, (in state and out of state), phone calls, emails, posting on boards, volunteering, etc. Close to a year's worth of research. And I'm in my second and last semester of pre-nursing. You probably didn't understand any of this since all of your friends are educated and so successful right?
About me being a horrible friend/learning humility. That is your opinion. I'm trying to learn things, but to say that I am the bad friend is simple a false statement. Since you have selective thinking/reading, you missed the part where I clarify as to why I feel this way. Because they have not been good friends to me. I have been helping them for years and am at the "mature" phase in life where I realize that all my friendships are not mutual.
But again ,God has blessed you with wonderful people in your life so this is impossible for you to understand.

Sarcasm certainly has a place, however in this instance all it does is make you seem even more immature and petty.

Should you get accepted into a Nursing program, pass it, take and pass NCLEX and get a few years of Nursing experience under your belt, please come back to this thread and see if you would still respond the way you have been.

You have given us information; selective and possibly biased information, but information nonetheless. From that we have formed opinions. That's how it works.

Trust me, future employers aren't going to give a furry rodent's posterior about your life circumstances, whether or not your friends are true friends, and if they deserve the opportunity to do the same thing you want to do.

They're going to care about whether or not you can do the job as described without whining, and you're going to hear about it if you can't.

My suggestion is that you pay attention to what actual seasoned Nurses are trying to tell you instead of standing on your "unique" circumstances and taking all that effort to get your feelings hurt.

UnicornMagic · Oct 31, 2015

And I often refer to RN and ADN as the same thing so I may not have said it right, but I do know what I'm talking about.

If you know what you are talking about, perhaps you should make the distinction. RN and ADN are not one in the same.

The hard work I'm talking about is research. Like what schools do I have the best chance of attending, what order to take the prerequisites, meeting with various school advisors, (in state and out of state), phone calls, emails, posting on boards, volunteering, etc. Close to a year's worth of research. And I'm in my second and last semester of pre-nursing. You probably didn't understand any of this since all of your friends are educated and so successful right?

I'm not sure how that "research" has taken you a year. Seeing as everyone (or nearly everyone) on this board has taken a similar path, I don't think it is necessary for me to point of the numerous reasons why that doesn't add up. Furthermore, as other posters have pointed out....what does it matter? Who cares of you spent 10 years researching how to get a 2 year degree? You should be happy with your friends for wanting to improve their lives, especially if you are from an area where education is limited. You sound like a little bratty child who doesn't want to share her toys.

You probably didn't understand any of this since all of your friends are educated and so successful right?
Since you have selective thinking/reading, you missed the part where I clarify as to why I feel this way.
But again ,God has blessed you with wonderful people in your life so this is impossible for you to understand.

You can be as snarky to me as you like. You can attempt to insult my intelligence and reading comprehension. I am not the one whining about not being able to keep up with classes, or about teachers being mean to me. I think your 2.5 GPA speaks for itself. I think the pages and pages of people pointing out your immaturity on virtually every thread you start speaks for itself.

Perhaps you should spend less time trolling and making excuses, and more time studying.

When you turn into a grown up, you will find wonderful people to fill your life with. Like magic, all of the losers will fade away, and everything will suddenly start making sense.

You have a really bad attitude. Unless it changes, and changes quickly, I can't imagine you will make it very far.

ixchel · Oct 31, 2015

And I often refer to RN and ADN as the same thing so I may not have said it right, but I do know what I'm talking about.
The hard work I'm talking about is research. Like what schools do I have the best chance of attending, what order to take the prerequisites, meeting with various school advisors, (in state and out of state), phone calls, emails, posting on boards, volunteering, etc. Close to a year's worth of research. And I'm in my second and last semester of pre-nursing. You probably didn't understand any of this since all of your friends are educated and so successful right?

To the first part, it is definitely necessary to use those acronyms (ADN/ASN, BSN and RN) accurately as all three have different meanings, and as mentioned before, none of them are interchangeable.

To this second part, what did you end up deciding? Genuinely curious. How have you been able to jump the GPA hurdle? Also, you're done prereqs? I thought I saw you are in a&p 1 now. I could be mistaken, of course.