direw0lf

I acted like an immature b today. At work. I’m so ashamed. I actually want to find a new job if I can but I didn’t want to this soon. I’m just afraid of being fired though, if I could leave myself, that would look better to potential employers. I don’t get along with one nurse and one tech. I lost a lot of weight within a short period of time, and they talk about me behind my back but within earshot or make comments at me, calling me anorexic and bulimic. I asked the nurse not to talk about me, she said OK. Then today I had a hard blood draw. Two techs couldn’t get it, and I couldn’t get it, everyone was busy and I wanted to do what I thought was right and I called ICU and ask if any nurse is available to try a blood draw. In the past other nurses have called same day surgery or ICU so I figured I was right. One nurse from ICU came over. The charge nurse on my unit (the nurse who I asked not to talk about me) came over to me and yelled (literally yelled) that just because I have a personal problem with her doesn’t mean I have a right not to tell her an ICU nurse was coming. I didn’t know I was supposed to. She yelled at me in front of my patient who questioned me about why I was in trouble. So when I was done, I went up to her and I DID yell back. Believe me...I know I was wrong. I didn’t think about what to say first I just went and yelled and said I didn’t know and she didn’t believe me still. I then whispered “f*** you”. I know. I can only say in my defense that it was 100% uncharacteristic of me and I know I was wrong, immature and not acting like a professional nurse. I can’t beat myself up more than I have. I just reached a point where I was so sick of it. Sick of her comments when I’m ordering take out she’d walk by me and say “why you just throw it up don’t you” and other things like that. I did used to talk about food and weight a lot, I am 24, isn’t that normal? I’m within my normal BMI. It really got to me. That’s no excuse for what I did, I realize that. I’m afraid I’ll be fired since I was reported. I’m expecting to be fired when I show up to work next. I’ve only worked here since August. I’ve never been in trouble before but it only takes one disciplinary problem to be fired. So I’m trying to decide what I should do. Should I type up my resignation letter and give it to my manager before I’m fired? I’m so mad at myself. Such stupid crap at work when all I wanted to do as a nurse was take care of people and be friendly and helpful to my coworkers. Thanks for allowing me to vent. I know I’m wrong. I don’t know what to do next though.

I agree with everything said here including that the OP was nicely written and a good sentiment. I don't want to be considered a hero because then I would be placed at higher standards than what I am and what I'm capable of doing...I'm a nurse doing my job and I try to do it the best I can. I will not put myself at more risk than I already do though, I feel like a hero would. I kept saying "yes" to being asked to work OT, to the point I was doing 4 weeks in a row of 5 12s each week, and I had to stop that and go back to just 3 12s a week for a while. I feel like calling myself a hero would imply I could do anything, like endless 5 12s in a row, because I'm a hero who will risk my health. I'm really not a hero. There seem to be some nurses who are. One nurse dropped everything and moved to NYC to work during the first wave of covid. I am not so great and don't always want to be. Hmm all that said just this morning I was wishing I could do missionary nursing for a couple weeks. Guess I just don't want to be a hero all the time LOL.

You know what, I was just thinking about this yesterday! I was just being silly sort of though and I was thinking "I could go to law school if I wanted why not" It was because I was just exploring different nursing careers and saw a legal nurse consultant. But I wasn't seriously considering. There are so many options in nursing... I actually would like a RN to MD bridge program. I saw some RN to PharmD bridges. But since you don't want a change in careers, there's plenty to do within nursing too like that legal nurse consultant or clinical research nurse, are 2 that I thought sounded interesting, maybe you'd like to explore them.

I just texted with my manager, she said if there was a problem that HR would have contacted her. She said just keep being persistent. Eh maybe I can look into a temporary license I don't know but I am working on this!

OK this really concerns me. Thank you so much for bringing it to my attention. I know that HR contacted me maybe 2 months after I started working here in NJ...and requested an updated license. And I explained how mine is a multistate/compact. HR said OK. However looking at the info, it says once I get a driver's license in another state, there is no grace period and I need the new state RN license. Ugh. I did not know this. My fault for not checking it thoroughly. I did receive my NJ driver's license...what does this mean exactly though, then, that I can be in trouble for practicing as an RN here in NJ with my FL multistate? And can I keep practicing though, since I am actively working toward a NJ RN license reinstatement now? What are the risks - I mean if I am God forbid sued by a patient - is that my risk?

Thank you so much! This is all very helpful! And huh....I wonder why it just doesn't let you do the endorsement thing. Regardless I'm glad I'm starting on this now and not later.

I don't mind 3 in a row when I get 4 days off after or before. But I feel like the dread before 3 (or 4 days on) is the worst part of it (for me anyway - maybe you too?) Like the idea of having to do those 3 or 4 is actually worse than going through them, unless it's just a really sucky assignment. When other nurses are doing 6 or 7 in a row I ask them how, they usually answer "I am installing a new bathroom" or something like that. The hospitalists do 6-8 in a row then have 6-8 days off. I can kinda see the appeal in that. I love those 4 days off...2 days off just don't seem enough.

I wasn't sure where to ask this question but here's the story: I was licensed as an RN by examination in the state of NJ and worked as an RN. I moved to FL, got licensed by endorsement and multi-state, and worked as an RN there. Moved BACK to NJ....but the NJ BON site won't allow me to renew my license by endorsement (says I already have a license, but it is expired). I've tried multiple attempts to call and email. Can anyone please help me regarding what the process is? It's OK for now, since I have a multi-state license. But my license will expire the end of April so I want to be sure I get it done in time. What I wish I did was to renew my NJ license when I had the chance last Summer....I didn't know I'd be coming back here though. My FL license was only good for 1 year since it was endorsement I guess. And just as a random note, I will be moving again this Summer/fall to another state. How do travel nurses do this LOL?! Also random thought, I didn't realize all the CE's we need that we have to pay out of pocket for. Thank you for any help!

I agree. Maybe it’s like a bandaid for me to teach about footwear. That bandaid will hold for a little while then get dirty and come off. It’s the best I feel like I’m able to do in my position/scope right now. To teach what I can to the patients I have. I agree reaching younger populations and preventing muscle wasting or to help prevent osteoporosis and mental decline would be better! I worked in pediatrics though and even then it’s like so many things working against you- access to good nutrition, good education, clean green spaces etc were the barriers.

Update: I really love the probars, very filling! I got the berry and greens flavor. but I’m still not able to drink until around 4pm. I don’t mind eating that late but I wish I could drink. So I’ve been making sure I drink 16 oz before I work. Then hold on the pee ?

This is what I was told as to why nursing education is like that. It’s because of salary. So diploma nurses could only make so much. To get higher salary they needed ADN and BSN. So they had to deduct clinical time and skills to add in the university education requirements. Personally I loved and got something out of almost every university class I took but I really felt like clinical was a joke. We used to love it if we could give a aspirin to a patient and the big WOW!! was if we could give insulin. And most of the time by the time we got to clinical the techs had already did the bathing/adl care so we couldn’t even do that. I was always taught nursing would be tough though and figured the coursework was to reflect that. I’m so glad I was a tech, it was the best thing to prepare me really.

Maybe we should give all options. So we can encourage assisted living, but we can also make sure we encourage ways to continue to live safer at home. So if your patient was in for a fall, we make sure to teach about rugs or footwear etc.

See just to explain to you why this May insult others. You assume that working in SNF is “backpedaling” in your career as if it’s a step beneath acute care...and act as if in Med surg you won't be using the same SNF nurse skills... both assumptions are incorrect.

Oh man I hope it’s OK to vent this out here and receive suggestions and encouragement! hate is a strong word and I don’t know if that’s how I really felt but the other day was hard! I switched from kids to adults recently and think I may want to just go back to kids. But anyway, as I was about to pull morning meds the tech informed me my patient was satting 75%. I checked him, he said he was eating and suddenly felt SOB. He’s a post op knee arthroplasty. His lungs had crackles bilaterally and no absent breath sounds. Hgb was under 8. I called a rapid response and he was put on a nonrebreather and I was told to transfuse blood. Troponins were negative at that time. A later redraw was 0.66. I’m not tele certified and they wanted to keep him on the floor because that’s where the physician was working. So he wasn’t on tele and I watched him decline. I kept calling the physicians and telling anyone around me (nurses, my assistant manager) he’s declining. I put a foley in him and after 80 lasix he still only put out 100 ml. After 6 hours he was intubated and going to catch lab. Nurses have all the responsibility but none of the decisions! I felt so helpless and alone with someone’s life in my hands in a way. I know, physicians were aware and all that it just felt like I was alone. I was really scared. And I was behind for all my other patients. Their pain meds and other medications were late and I didn’t even assess anyone yet. (My morning routine has been to pull meds and assess before I give). After I waited for the blood tx for the first 30 min I did leave him to get to the other patients and I hated to do that. No monitors on him but the pulse ox and heart rate alarm that would sound off in his room if it went out of parameters. The man was diaphoretic, BP going down even with the transfusion going in. Anyway this was my first blood transfusion and first MI and I felt alone and don’t know why my patient wasn’t taken to the cath lab or ccu sooner. They had done a stat cxr in the rapid it didn’t show a pe and ecg had showed a left bundle branch block not an mi. But still I don’t know I guess I felt like I didn’t do enough and couldn’t have done anything else at the same time?? Telling him “I’m here and everyone is watching you to make sure you’re OK” just didn’t seem like enough when he says “I haven’t felt this bad since my last heart attack”. Which I did tell everyone he said that (he said it as the rapid was ending). edit: I wrote that kinda sloppy and out of order above, sorry!

Thanks for sharing ideas in the replies! I had tried protein shakes before but the ones I tried were $$$ so I'll need to find a better priced brand. I really like how the promeals look! I have a kinda sensitive stomach, so I need to be careful about what I eat and drink. Too much fiber or milk can do me in! So I'll check out the ingredients!