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Jealous Friends...

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Have you guys experienced any jealousy or changes in your friends because you're now a nurse?

I'm in the pre nursing phase, and now 2 of my close friends (who dropped out first year of college) are going back because of me. I'm not sure weather to feel flattered or insulted.

llg, PhD, RN

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development. Has 44 years experience.

Why would you feel insulted? I don't understand. If you have inspired them to further their educations, shouldn't you be happy for them? ... and happy that you made a positive difference in their lives?

Everline

Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.

I really don't get feeling insulted or why you think jealousy might be driving them to go back to school. Perhaps you can explain more.

LittleTwinStars

Specializes in Critical Care. Has 8 years experience.

You're in a tween stage of life. There will be many. First I shed the friends from high school, then I shed the friends who resented me for building my life and I got sick of their slacking and complaining. Now I'm shedding the people who are still "finding themselves." It's not snobbishness, it's finding comfortable company who appreciates you and not being dragged down.

Whatever you do, don't lend them money.

You're in a tween stage of life. There will be many. First I shed the friends from high school, then I shed the friends who resented me for building my life and I got sick of their slacking and complaining. Now I'm shedding the people who are still "finding themselves." It's not snobbishness, it's finding comfortable company who appreciates you and not being dragged down.

Whatever you do, don't lend them money.

Great comment LittleTwinStars

I for one have been getting A LOT of criticism for getting accepted into the nursing program. Even the medical assistant at my doctors office said

" Why do you even want to be a nurse?

They work so hard and don't get paid enough. "

I'm like where is the encouragement!!! My goodness!!

Let me explain more.

I think I feel this way because they have never helped me with anything, and after I did all the research and work, I told them what my plan was and now their copying it but without any hard work.

Does that help explaining why I feel this way?

And lastly, this isn't the first time they have done things like that. I would do one thing this week, and next week so would they.

I for one have been getting A LOT of criticism for getting accepted into the nursing program. Even the medical assistant at my doctors office said

" Why do you even want to be a nurse?

They work so hard and don't get paid enough. "

I'm like where is the encouragement!!! My goodness!!

Exactly, stuff like that is what I'm talking about. Or someone saying things like "Why would you want to touch people's poop?" While they make minimum wage.

xoemmylouox, ASN, RN

Has 13 years experience.

I would be happy if I had inspired others to go back to school. I'm not sure why you would take it as an insult, unless there is more to the story?

flying_ace2

Specializes in Pharmaceutical Research, Operating Room. Has 1+ years experience.

You're in a tween stage of life. There will be many. First I shed the friends from high school, then I shed the friends who resented me for building my life and I got sick of their slacking and complaining. Now I'm shedding the people who are still "finding themselves." It's not snobbishness, it's finding comfortable company who appreciates you and not being dragged down.

Whatever you do, don't lend them money.

I'm glad to know that this is something other people have experienced. I was starting to think maybe I really AM that much of a.......well, you know ;)

Let me explain more.

I think I feel this way because they have never helped me with anything, and after I did all the research and work, I told them what my plan was and now their copying it but without any hard work.

Does that help explaining why I feel this way?

And lastly, this isn't the first time they have done things like that. I would do one thing this week, and next week so would they.

I'm not nitpicking but I don't get that part. Copying? Like, when we were kids in grade school "teacher, she's copying me?" Whatever the case, it sounds like your friends are trying to find themselves and where they might fit in the world. It doesn't sound malicious or even like jealousy. Maybe they are following your footsteps because they think you have a good head on your shoulders. *shrug*

If it makes you that uncomfortable or even suspicious save yourself the headache by not confiding in them.

VANurse2010

Has 6 years experience.

Have you guys experienced any jealousy or changes in your friends because you're now a nurse?

I'm in the pre nursing phase, and now 2 of my close friends (who dropped out first year of college) are going back because of me. I'm not sure weather to feel flattered or insulted.

Perhaps you should save your snobbishness for when you've actually accomplished something.

I fail to see their offense. If they can get into nursing school, how is that done without hard work?

Rhody34

Specializes in Acute Care. Has 5+ years experience.

Wait... Is this thread a real thing!?!? Wow...

You may be giving yourself too much credit. Being a nursing student isn't particularly unusual or impressive. In the area that I live it seems everybody is in nursing school.

Now landing a job in nursing has become quite difficult. That is impressive around here. Not a ton of positions open.

Rhody34

Specializes in Acute Care. Has 5+ years experience.

I can guarantee that none of my friends, family, or even acquaintances are even a little bit jealous that I am a nurse. I don't know a life where people would be... What alternate universe is this? Middle school, perhaps...

Dogen

Specializes in Behavioral Health. Has 1 years experience.

You're in a tween stage of life. There will be many. First I shed the friends from high school, then I shed the friends who resented me for building my life and I got sick of their slacking and complaining. Now I'm shedding the people who are still "finding themselves." It's not snobbishness, it's finding comfortable company who appreciates you and not being dragged down.

Whatever you do, don't lend them money.

According to the socioemotional selectivity theory (because "theory of social motivation" just doesn't sound as cool) as you age you become more selective about how to spend your energy, focusing on people and things that are rewarding. As a result, we tend to shed acquaintances (who don't bring much reward) and friends who bring the drama (who use more energy for less reward) over time. Transitional periods, like graduating high school and college, are convenient times to "lose touch" and often involve some kind of focusing or change in a person's life, so we see lot of pruning at those times. Basically, I'm saying your position is supported by evidence. ;)

Which is another good reason not to loan people money unless their relationship is generally rewarding, because you'll probably eventually stop wanting to know them anyway, making it less likely you'll get repaid. :)

According to the socioemotional selectivity theory (because "theory of social motivation" just doesn't sound as cool) as you age you become more selective about how to spend your energy, focusing on people and things that are rewarding. As a result, we tend to shed acquaintances (who don't bring much reward) and friends who bring the drama (who use more energy for less reward) over time. Transitional periods, like graduating high school and college, are convenient times to "lose touch" and often involve some kind of focusing or change in a person's life, so we see lot of pruning at those times. Basically, I'm saying your position is supported by evidence. ;)

Which is another good reason not to loan people money unless their relationship is generally rewarding, because you'll probably eventually stop wanting to know them anyway, making it less likely you'll get repaid. :)

Did you Google that?

ETA: FWIW, few people make such life-altering decisions just to copy someone. No reason to get hot and bothered by something like this.

Edited by cracklingkraken

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