Jealous Friends...

cracklingkraken, ASN, RN · Oct 30, 2015

I fail to see their offense. If they can get into nursing school, how is that done without hard work?

Rhody34 · Oct 30, 2015

Wait... Is this thread a real thing!?!? Wow...

LaneyB · Oct 30, 2015

You may be giving yourself too much credit. Being a nursing student isn't particularly unusual or impressive. In the area that I live it seems everybody is in nursing school.

Now landing a job in nursing has become quite difficult. That is impressive around here. Not a ton of positions open.

Rhody34 · Oct 30, 2015

I can guarantee that none of my friends, family, or even acquaintances are even a little bit jealous that I am a nurse. I don't know a life where people would be... What alternate universe is this? Middle school, perhaps...

Dogen · Oct 30, 2015

You're in a tween stage of life. There will be many. First I shed the friends from high school, then I shed the friends who resented me for building my life and I got sick of their slacking and complaining. Now I'm shedding the people who are still "finding themselves." It's not snobbishness, it's finding comfortable company who appreciates you and not being dragged down.
Whatever you do, don't lend them money.

According to the socioemotional selectivity theory (because "theory of social motivation" just doesn't sound as cool) as you age you become more selective about how to spend your energy, focusing on people and things that are rewarding. As a result, we tend to shed acquaintances (who don't bring much reward) and friends who bring the drama (who use more energy for less reward) over time. Transitional periods, like graduating high school and college, are convenient times to "lose touch" and often involve some kind of focusing or change in a person's life, so we see lot of pruning at those times. Basically, I'm saying your position is supported by evidence.

Which is another good reason not to loan people money unless their relationship is generally rewarding, because you'll probably eventually stop wanting to know them anyway, making it less likely you'll get repaid. :)

cracklingkraken, ASN, RN · Oct 30, 2015

According to the socioemotional selectivity theory (because "theory of social motivation" just doesn't sound as cool) as you age you become more selective about how to spend your energy, focusing on people and things that are rewarding. As a result, we tend to shed acquaintances (who don't bring much reward) and friends who bring the drama (who use more energy for less reward) over time. Transitional periods, like graduating high school and college, are convenient times to "lose touch" and often involve some kind of focusing or change in a person's life, so we see lot of pruning at those times. Basically, I'm saying your position is supported by evidence.
Which is another good reason not to loan people money unless their relationship is generally rewarding, because you'll probably eventually stop wanting to know them anyway, making it less likely you'll get repaid. :)

Did you Google that?

ETA: FWIW, few people make such life-altering decisions just to copy someone. No reason to get hot and bothered by something like this.

BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN · Oct 30, 2015

Research is hard work? You sound very young, OP.

Let me explain more.
I think I feel this way because they have never helped me with anything, and after I did all the research and work, I told them what my plan was and now their copying it but without any hard work.
Does that help explaining why I feel this way?
And lastly, this isn't the first time they have done things like that. I would do one thing this week, and next week so would they.

Nurse Leigh · Oct 30, 2015

Research is hard work? You sound very young, OP.

Wait... Is this thread a real thing!?!? Wow...

For more context (and a different perspective), take a look at OP's previous threads.

Irish_Mist, BSN, RN · Oct 30, 2015

Have you guys experienced any jealousy or changes in your friends because you're now a nurse?
I'm in the pre nursing phase, and now 2 of my close friends (who dropped out first year of college) are going back because of me. I'm not sure weather to feel flattered or insulted.

You sound like you have a lot of growing up to do. To think of your friends as being jealous of you or copying you is juvenile at best and narcissistic at worst. It sounds so middle school and petty. Really, why do you care? Just do your school work and concentrate on getting into nursing school. How your friends choose to conduct themselves is not your problem. Besides, if you have inspired them to go back to school, that is a good thing. It means you have been a positive influence.

Dogen · Oct 30, 2015

Did you Google that?
ETA: FWIW, few people make such life-altering decisions just to copy someone. No reason to get hot and bothered by something like this.

I had to Google the actual name of the theory, because it's a mouthful, but I have a background in psych so I knew it was out there to find.

WellThatsOod · Oct 30, 2015

Let me explain more.
I think I feel this way because they have never helped me with anything, and after I did all the research and work, I told them what my plan was and now their copying it but without any hard work.
Does that help explaining why I feel this way?
And lastly, this isn't the first time they have done things like that. I would do one thing this week, and next week so would they.

My bold. This is really the only thing I feel like commenting on.

You getting mad because you told your friends something that may have helped them find a way to do something they want in a bit of a less time consuming or less expensive way makes YOU sound the bad friend. You may have given them some advice that makes them want to better their lives and you think they're jealous?

I agree with the others. Grow up a little.

Farawyn · Oct 30, 2015

Are you haunted by your friends' ambition OP?

If not, be supportive. Concentrate on yourself if you can't even do that.