I just lost my brother, hoping to get some feedback

mymy1219 · Jan 12, 2011

I'm sorry for your lost i haven't been through anything like you have but i hope you can feel better:sniff:

RscodADN10 · Jan 13, 2011

All I can say is be strong and keep going forward and take it a day at a time. If you cry you cry. You have to let your emotions out.

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best.

jjjoy, LPN · Jan 13, 2011

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you just found out. It will take time to process. Perhaps your school or church or local mental health center offers grief counseling or support groups? There may be resources out there specifically for those who have lost someone to suicide.

Many people don't understand the strains of nursing school. Some of your instructors and classmates may not understand a loss like yours. Remember to take care of yourself first and to seek support if needed.

Moogie · Jan 13, 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. Both my son and I have experience with close friends committing suicide. A friend of mine killed herself several years ago and it has taken me a long time to get over the loss. I still can't look at her picture without crying---or wondering if there was anything I could have done to change her mind.

My son lost a friend in his senior year in high school. The friend was someone he knew from a previous school who was in his freshman year in college. He got drunk and shot himself. My son took a week off to drive to the community in which we used to live so he could attend the funeral. I'm not sure my son has gotten over the loss of his friend, either. He didn't seem to suffer academically after his friend's death, but emotionally he "checked out" and was really not connected his senior year.

My best advice to you...do you have an advisor at school in whom you can confide? Are there mental health services at your school in case you need to talk to someone? I will keep you in my prayers---you have worked so hard and so long to become a nurse that I would hate to see anything derail you.

Again, I am so very sorry. {{{{{{{{{{Vida}}}}}}}}}}

OB-nurse2013, BSN, RN · Jan 13, 2011

There is not much help that can be offered. I am so sorry for your loss. I think it may help to try your best to use your schoolwork as a distraction. I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with your professor's but maybe by talking to them and letting them know what you're going through they may be able to offer some help and support at the very least. I don't think there's anything that could make it better but time will make the loss and pain tolerable. My thoughts and prayers are with you :heartbeat

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Jan 13, 2011

Thank you everyone

Moogie, I was already contacting a couple of teachers because I was already going to be missing 2 days next week, well today one of them got back to me and I updated her on the situation. (I just got the news on my brother yesterday afternoon). Well she is the director of the program and is helping to teach one of our classes, she contacted my adviser I guess to let them know of the situation. All of the nursing students are placed with an adviser, my adviser was also one of my instructors so I know her. Anyway, she contacted me after she was told and she is being really nice and supportive, she said we have free counseling at school for general and special suicide counseling. So I will look into that when I am back from the funeral. I am usually a pretty stoic person and just deal with things going on but I am guessing that isn't going to be the best thing for me to do this time.

chicagoing, ADN, RN · Jan 13, 2011

I am sorry for your loss. I don't have any words of wisdom, but the advice from others who have posted to this thread is great. If anything, keep going with school to keep your mind busy. Talk with counselors or your friends if you need to, or just come to allnurses. Most of all, take care of yourself - mind, body, and spirit.

Nepenthe Sea · Jan 13, 2011

((((Hugs))))) to you. I am so sorry. : (

My dad died of lung cancer at the end of last spring semester. He was diagnosed, and six weeks later he was dead. Very shocking for us. We had to put him in a nursing home and then hospice, clean out his apartment, plan his funeral, take care of business...I had to take one of his dogs to the pound to be put down. Bad, bad times. We had his funeral the day that we started finals.

I know that mental health professionals will discourage a person from "compartmentalizing" their emotions (setting them aside until it is more convenient), but that's what I had to do. I could not afford to break down at that point. I worked through the end of the semester the best I could. I agree with a previous poster that you have come too far to let this keep you from graduating. I know we are pressed for time, but if you can get any kind of grief counseling, I would recommend that. Maybe journaling will help (I know, I know - so little time). Of course, this will be a lot harder for you just because it's the beginning of the semester. I hope that you can keep going.

My thoughts are with you. Please PM me if you need to talk...

Lennonninja, MSN, APRN, NP · Jan 13, 2011

I haven't lost anyone to suicide, but during the first year of nursing school I lost both grandmothers to cancer One of my classmates last year lost her brother to suicide mid semester. I know that she had a really rough time with it, but she started to bounce back after taking some time off. I'm sure that it's got to be terrible right now, so I wish you and your family peace.

Saysfaa · Jan 13, 2011

((((((( Mi Vida Loca ))))))))

tokidoki7, ASN, RN · Jan 13, 2011

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. :hug: