I start my 4th semester on Tuesday and I just lost my brother to Suicide. I lost my grandmother 15 years ago to suicide, they did it the same way and both of them were not found for days. I just got the news on my baby brother last night. Anyway, I have never lost anyone close to me like this. Things with my grandmother were not good so I wasn't close with her but with my brother, I was close with him growing up. Not as much as an adult but him, me and my sister grew up in an extremely abusive environment and used each other as support growing up to survive. So I have always felt protective over him. Being that this is all new to me I am just kind of at a loss. If I keep myself distracted or talk about it all I do OK. But the minute I am not distracted I break down.
I was just wondering if anyone has had to go through something similar during school and how they coped or any advice. This is one topic (death of a loved one) I do not have any experience with.
I'm sorry for your loss. May you take comfort in knowing there is an angel watching over you & may the love of those around you comfort you now and in the days ahead...
OMG>>>I am so sorry! I can not imagine how hard this must be for you! Both of my parents were diagnosed within 2 months of each other with cancer. They are doing fine for now. My mom is cancer free, but my dad still has cancer. I was already dealing with depression, so I took a semester off, and for me, it was the best thing in the world. Everyone is different, but I just could not function to go on.
God Bless you and comfort you during this difficult time! I pray that God will bring you peace in your heart.
I am so sorry for your loss and I will be praying for you and your family. Does your college offer counseling? Maybe it would be helpful to talk with someone there before class. My college has a psychologist on duty during the day classes and students can make appointments with him. This last year my mom was diagnosed with cancer and it was hell for the first few weeks. I cried every night, couldn't focus, tried to be there for her as she went through chemo and keep up my grades. If I didn't have people to lean on, I would not have made it through fall semester. Use your support system to their full capacity, if you have no one to talk to during a hard time- try to use a journal... like you said- you feel better if you talk about it. Just try to deal with each emotion as it comes and don't be afraid to break down. I tried to be strong for the first few days, and it didn't work... the emotions and pain came out anyways. The journalling, and doing yoga helped me to channel my pain into something positive. Again, I will be praying for you, and thinking about you as I start my spring semester. So many people complain about trivial things stopping them from their goals and you are an inspiration for others to try as hard as they can to succeed. :heartbeat
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother several years ago to AIDS it was difficult because like you I was very close to him. I agree with the above posts go to grief counseling lean on your friends for support. Your school seems like it offers help as well, utilize all of it! God bless you and your family, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this most difficult time. And yes you do have a special angel looking down on you from heaven.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is its' own animal. I am sure you will suffer from guilt as well, "what if I....why did I not....." It can go on and on. If loving your brother would have been enough to keep him with you, he would still be here, however, It was demons that were in his head that took him. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! always remember that. Cry whenever you need to and talk it out when ever you need to. This is not something that will "go away" But in time it will be tolerable. Grief effects your whole self, holistically, body, mind and spirit. Grief counseling is not only helpful but a necessity. Maybe consider an anti-depressant or anti-anixety or both while you are still in school.
I am so sorry this has happened, reach out to others on the internet, there are many sites of people who have suffered the same fate and connecting with someone who knows what you are going through will give you strength.
My Dad died the day before I started Nursing School. I was in an accelerated program, so when we started it was hard and heavy from day one. My way of coping was to stuff it for the 15 months of the program (I do NOT recommend this BTW, I'm just sharing my experience). I did not allow myself to feel my feelings, I stuffed them. I got through the program, was offerred a job on the unit I did my preceptorship, passed NCLEX, THEN fell apart.
Again, I do NOT recommend this strategy, it is not effective coping. I suggest counseling, whether through your school or another avenue. You need to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, expecially with an unexpected and tragic death like you experienced. If it means taking a semester off or going part-time in order to take care of yourself, do not hesitate. One more semester in the grand scheme of your life will mean very little.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend. Take care of yourself.
Butterflyrn83
56 Posts
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you and your family.:hug: