I start my 4th semester on Tuesday and I just lost my brother to Suicide. I lost my grandmother 15 years ago to suicide, they did it the same way and both of them were not found for days. I just got the news on my baby brother last night. Anyway, I have never lost anyone close to me like this. Things with my grandmother were not good so I wasn't close with her but with my brother, I was close with him growing up. Not as much as an adult but him, me and my sister grew up in an extremely abusive environment and used each other as support growing up to survive. So I have always felt protective over him. Being that this is all new to me I am just kind of at a loss. If I keep myself distracted or talk about it all I do OK. But the minute I am not distracted I break down.
I was just wondering if anyone has had to go through something similar during school and how they coped or any advice. This is one topic (death of a loved one) I do not have any experience with.
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace and are wrapped in love by your friends and family. Please know that life will move forward and while the pain never fully goes away, it does become a lighter burden.
I was pregnant during my pre-reqs and we lost our baby to anencephaly. I had never heard of it before until I found some support groups online. It hurt and the pain was so huge. I learned a lot through the support groups, and that combined with the love of my church, friends, and family, I did recover. I still miss my baby angel, but I have faith that our brief encounter will not be our last.
Take heart and know you are not alone in your grief. Make sure you have some sort of support system in place - friends, family, a spiritual leader or group, and of course your nursing friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I truly am sorry for your tragic loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I read through the thread and I'm glad your advisor is keeping in touch with you and being supportive. Count me in as another person on AN who is here for you, and I hope that our support can bring some comfort during this tragedy.
I'm sorry to hear about your brother. On the night of my first day of nursing school my husband tried to commit suicide and was in ICU for four days. He did not die but the whole thing really shakes you to the core. The range of emotions I had startled me. Naturally, when he was in ICU I just wanted him to make it and be okay. Along with that came all of the emotions one would expect. Shock, fear, guilt. Once he was "okay" I found myself extremely angry. I didn't know how to deal with that feeling at all. Nor did I expect it.
You're likely to go through all those feelings seemingly simultaneously and that is okay. For me, keeping busy with school helped to a large degree. If you get terribly overwhelmed I'd really suggest seeking a therapist. Two reasons for this suggestion versus just talking to a friend.
1. No matter how many times friends say it, they really don't want to hear you talk about such an uncomfortable topic anytime you need to. Which could be often. People always say they don't mind but my experience is that "too much" talking gets a label of needy individual.
2. People have all sorts of qualms about suicide. The make ridiculous assumptions and it can end up just making things more emotionally hard for you.
My experience. Do what you feel is right, of course.
Good luck to you in your (final?) semester. And again, my condolences on the loss of your brother.
First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I have a similar situation, when I was getting my previous Bachelors my grandmother became terminally ill during my last semester. I went to NY to take care of her for her final two weeks and somehow I managed to pass my classes all with A's. It took a lot of support and help from my professors and classmates but via email and internet I was able to pull it off.
I think that people never really realize what they are capable of until they are put in a situation where they need to give it all they have and pull through. Coming from a difficult childhood you have to have the spirit of a fighter inside you so you can do it. Just remember that your brother and grandmother would not want you to curl over and give up, they would want you to be successful. Get through it for them and because coming from a difficult environment you chose not to be a product of your environment but instead a contributing member of society.
I'm so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine how shaken you are. Please reach out to me if you need to. I also want to send many many hugs to his 6 year old child, I have a 6 year old boy and I can't imagine how he would feel if his daddy was just suddenly gone forever. It makes my stomach turn to even think about it. I pray someone steps up for him and takes care of his emotional needs, this will certainly "mess" with him. My God daughter dies at age 2 1/2 2 year ago and that was about the most terrible thing I ever watched, my best friend burying her daughter is something no one should ever have to do. I'm thankful I wasn't in school yet. Take care of yourself and give yourself time if you need it. Hugs!!!
Story I don't really want to post... Losing my brother to cancer (he is 34). Will probably not see summer, I am in my 1st semester. Reply privately, I would like to share. [email protected]
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Just wanted to bump this thread...you're still in our thoughts and prayers, and we're pulling for you!
Thank you, I truly appreciate it, it's been really rough but my adviser has been absolutely amazing. I am so thankful. She is also my teacher this semester.
Story I don't really want to post... Losing my brother to cancer (he is 34). Will probably not see summer, I am in my 1st semester. Reply privately, I would like to share.
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allie1230
14 Posts
I am so sorry for your loss.
I pray that you find peace and are wrapped in love by your friends and family. Please know that life will move forward and while the pain never fully goes away, it does become a lighter burden.
I was pregnant during my pre-reqs and we lost our baby to anencephaly. I had never heard of it before until I found some support groups online. It hurt and the pain was so huge. I learned a lot through the support groups, and that combined with the love of my church, friends, and family, I did recover. I still miss my baby angel, but I have faith that our brief encounter will not be our last.
Take heart and know you are not alone in your grief. Make sure you have some sort of support system in place - friends, family, a spiritual leader or group, and of course your nursing friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I truly am sorry for your tragic loss.
Alisha