allie1230

I took the NCLEX on 1/28/13 and felt like I failed even after stopping at 75 questions and getting the PVT "good" message. I just got my official "pass" and am now a RN! I will start my official RN position in the ER next week. I am so excited - and yes, the PVT worked regardless of how sick I felt! Congrats to all the new RNs!

I have made it to my senior year and graduate in December. I have never experienced a "bully" nurse. As a matter of fact, I really enjoy the clinical aspect of nursing school. At least I did. Until last week. I was in the ER and a patient came in unconscious with a host of issues. Long story short, I made a HIPPA mistake (and not a huge one). I admitted to the mistake right away, I will never repeat the mistake, and I even thanked the charge nurse for bringing it to my attention (even though she did so in front of the tech, a nurse, an EMT, and the patient while in the patient's room). When the dust settled with that patient, and we (the charge nurse, tech, EMT, and RN) were back at the nurse's station, I thanked the charge nurse again for calling me on my mistake and explained that I did know better, but was doing what the tech had asked. I followed that up with the fact that I should have known for myself that it was a HIPPA violation and refused to do it based on those grounds regardless of what the tech requested. The tech who made the request even said, "She is right. I did ask her to make the call." I responded that it was still my responsibility to know better, and that I certainly learned from this experience. This was my first true mistake ever in the clinical setting. I was trying to convey that I own the mistake, recognize where I went wrong, and how to correct it going forward. I was trying to turn the embarrassing mistake into a positive learning experience. In front of the same group, the charge nurse went on a rant about how I don't need to apologize to HERand how recently, a RN was fired for doing that same thing. Then, she began discussing a night-nurse who is a new grad, and referred to her by name (to me and the group). She began to talk about how incompetent she was, and how she didn't like the hospital hiring all these "new grads" in the ER because they weren't qualified to be there. She really ripped this employee apart. I could not BELIEVE how unprofessional this was and how no one was trying to de-escalate her. I wasn't about to say a word since I had just screwed up. I simply stepped back and let her go. I tried to ignore everything she said... and I was kind of thankful at that point that she handed me a paper to take to a patient room (it was obvious she was trying to get me to go away). I returned to the nurse's station, and when I did, the group was awkwardly silent. You know that I-am-being-talked-about-but-returned-too-soon kind of silence (insert awkward laugh here). The charge nurse glared at me, turned her back to me and said without even looking at me, "Why don't you go to the back and see if there's something you can do back there?" Ouch. It was apparent I wasn't wanted in her presence. I felt like an idiot. An idiot with a target painted on my backside. My wounded pride and I went to a different area of the ER. Thankfully, a nurse in a different area of the ER put me to work and truly treated me like an equal, and with respect and kindness. She was wonderfully unaware of my screw up that had got me sent to her area. By the time I returned from a much needed 30 minute lunch, I found out I had been reported to the nurse manager (although I wasn't led to believe it was a "formal" type of report). The nurse manager saw me as she was taking her lunch to her office. I made small talk with her for a minute or two and thanked her for allowing me to continue my independent observation and how much it has helped me to learn and grow. She was very receptive. I told her how much I appreciate the staff working with me and always being willing to teach. In my mind, I think I was still trying to convince myself I had misread the whole situaiton and was taking it personally when I shouldn't do so. She then said, "I heard there was a hiccup this morning?" I said yes, but that I will live and learn. She only glazed over the situation with a broad, "I talked to a couple of people and straightened some things out. It's okay." I wasn't expecting this, but was very appreciative of her response. I didn't think the situation warranted being reprimanded in front of a group twice, then being asked to leave the area, and then being topped off by being reported. What adds insult to injury is that the EMT did the exact thing I was being reprimanded for, but did so boldly and gave out a LOT of personal information to a person on the phone whose identitify could not possibly be verified! Anyway, I told the manager that I made the mistake, I realized what I did, and that I learned from it and won't repeat it again. She seemed perfectly okay with that. I didn't mention any of the drama or that the EMT took my error and blew it up to a bigger error in front of the charge nurse and was NEVER corrected (at least not in front of the group as I was). I didn't want to tattle or make a mountain of a mole hill. By the end of the day, I felt awkward everywhere I went in the ER. The charge nurse never spoke to me or even looked at me after that incident, like I was a ghost (and I received the same from the EMT, the RN, and the tech). I felt HORRIBLE and INCOMPETENT. I was mad at myself for making the mistake, and their behavior only made the guilt and anger worse. I wasn't really mad at them, but I was very hurt. When it was time to leave, my nurse I worked with that day hugged me and thanked me for being there. I told my friend who was in ER with me that I was taking my bad day bruises and going home and kind of smiled to avoid crying. My nurse heard this, and asked, "Oh no. WHO was mean to you?" I was taken by surprise that she would just go to that right away. I tried to deny anything of that nature. I told her that I made a big mistake in regards to HIPPA, that I was upset with myself. She again said, "Was it the charge nurse?" Ugh. I denied any personal issues at all and just kept it about me feeling bad about my error. She was awesome and tried to point out all the things I did RIGHT that day and how much my patients "loved" me, and what a help I was to her. I could feel the heat rising in my face and tears welling up. I knew I'd been ostracized by the others all day, and this nurse was so kind. She explained that the charge nurse is one who likes to "eat their young," and that it was an unfortunate thing about nursing. Several times she kept saying that the charge nurse was "one of those nurses" and a "type-A personality" and many on staff find her difficult to work with and avoid her when possible. I insisted it had nothing to do with her, but that I was just upset with myself for my mistake and my embarrassment that the nursing manager was made aware of it, too. My nurse then asked, "Wait, she told the manager?" I said, "Yes." She assured me that the manager is direct, but fair. She said if the manager had a real issue with what I did, she would take me aside and discuss it with me. She said the fact that it was glazed over the way it was was a pretty good indication that she either didn't think it was a big deal or that she felt like I was not likely to repeat my mistake. Her support meant a lot to me, but as much as I appreciated her support, looking back now, perhaps it was a little unprofessional of her to say those things about the charge nurse...but I have to admit, in that moment, it was nice to hear. I really wanted a job in this ER because it's really good, has a great reputation in the community, and MOST of the staff has been awesome. I felt like that opportunity has completely been destroyed because of this situation. I truly regret screwing up...but won't we all make mistakes and learn from them? Is that not the point of preceptors and being a student? Ugh. I felt horrible all day. I felt like the charge nurse, her nurse pal, the EMT and the tech HATED me after the incident. I tried to not make it personal, but at the end of the day, I think it truly was. I was reprimanded in front of a group twice (without discretion), belittled, compared to another "new-grad" nurse that was incompetent (and it was made clear that the nurse in question wasn't welcomed), banished to the "back," and completely ignored and made to feel non-existent the rest of the day by that group. The bottom line is I did what I felt was right. I owned the mistake without blame. I took the reprimand with grace. That apparently wasn't good enough. I had to be reported, be ostracized, gossiped about, and ignored the remainder of the day. By the CHARGE NURSE, the one who SHOULD be leading by example. The same person who was tearing apart an employee by name who wasn't even there to defend herself! I now will probably never be considered for a position in this hospital's ER (which is why I sought to do observation in this hospital to begin with), and all because I followed instruction blindly without thought of my boundaries. I don't need to be beat over the head with a freakin' mistake. I don't need to be bullied or intimidated to learn. I don't think her goal was teach, and if it was, she needs a lesson, too. I am sick of the dismissive, "Nurses eat their young" nonsense. If you eat your young, there will be no one left to fill your shoes - and our profession will suffer the consequences. It's bad for the student, the nurse, the hospital, and for patient outcomes. The catch phrase doesn't excuse the action, if anything, it dismisses it, and that's not right. Bullying isn't tolerated in schools, in the average work place, and certainly shouldn't be tolerated in a place where people's health could suffer because of it. The stress I've carried from this has been high, and I haven't really talked about it with anyone since it happened. I just needed a place to vent where maybe I can find some direction. So far, I've read a lot of articles, stories, and recommendations, but nothing really concrete in any literature. I am shocked there is no law, no EVP, and nothing really substantial on the subject since it seems so prevalent. And calling it "lateral-violence" doesn't make it a syndrome, a disease, or something that is excused. It is bullying, plain and simple. So, if you are a RN assigned to a student and you don't want the student, please let us know so that we can find another RN who is willing to take a student that day. That will make sure we both have a good day. Aside from that, any advice? Thoughts? Do I hang up the idea of applying for a job in this ER? Do I even return? The rest of the staff has always been really nice to me and has never acted like this. This isn't a school clinical, it's my own personal observation I arranged myself to complement my clinical. I wanted to do ER nursing, but this really shook me a bit. If you have been bullied, how did you handle it and what was the outcome? I haven't returned this week (I usually go weekly a couple of days per week) because of other circumstances unrelated to this. Thanks for letting me vent.

Oh, great thread! I would say the following: 1. I do not think that "having an app for that" is going to fly in clinical when you have to do calculations and provide care WITHOUT your Iphone! 2. Yes, there's a difference between a Foley and a NG tube. No, they cannot be used interchangably. 3. That IV bag should not be infusing into the rectum. 4. No, I am not impressed that you only studied for 20 minutes and still passed. 5. I knew the answer because I read, listened and lecture, and practiced in lab. I was not busy trying to make witty comments to my co-student during lecture. 6. PLEASE stop telling the instructor how YOU do it "at the clinic." If you are here, you are NOT a RN. 7. I don't know what the instructor is going to focus on in lecture today, why don't we find out TOGETHER?

I had never heard of this before and am in LOVE!!! Thank you SO much! :heartbeat

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace and are wrapped in love by your friends and family. Please know that life will move forward and while the pain never fully goes away, it does become a lighter burden. I was pregnant during my pre-reqs and we lost our baby to anencephaly. I had never heard of it before until I found some support groups online. It hurt and the pain was so huge. I learned a lot through the support groups, and that combined with the love of my church, friends, and family, I did recover. I still miss my baby angel, but I have faith that our brief encounter will not be our last. Take heart and know you are not alone in your grief. Make sure you have some sort of support system in place - friends, family, a spiritual leader or group, and of course your nursing friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I truly am sorry for your tragic loss. Alisha

Any additional advice for first semester students? Congrats on your successful semester and many well wishes for the next one! Way to go! Alisha

Jewels, I understand how overwhelmed you must feel. I am a mother of 5 wonderful kids and 2 delightful step-children. My husband goes to school and works full time while I attend school. I will be starting the nursing program tomorrow (first day)! I am so excited! I wanted to take a second to respond to your post. I have faced my giants, and I am sure lots of people have done the same. I have been divorced for 12 years and remarried for 7 (and still going strong). My first husband and I have a very broken relationship and his wife and I do not blend well. Further, he sued for custody (a battle which began over a year ago). I have been sweating the outcome financially and emotionally. We settled our case this past week, which clears the road for school uninterrupted (or so I pray). Up until that point, I was going mad with worry and anxiety thinking that my anticipated 4 day trial would greatly interefere with school. I am thankful we had mediation and it got worked out (thousands of dollars and sleepless nights later). Further, I have been battling some minor female health issues and will likely need a hysterectomy this year (trying to put it off until December). Prior to my little son being born, we lost a baby to anencephaly, which was devastating. My children range in age from 19 months to 16 years old. They attend 4 different schools. We financially struggle to say the least. The process of going through litigation for a little over a year and the financial hardships caused my marriage some grief, too. However, we are together and dedicated to one another. I love him, trust him, and know he does the same for me. I knew it would either "make us or break us," and I am so thankful it made us. :redbeathe Through it all, I have kept a 4.0 (and yes, I know it is said a lot, but it is the honest truth). My husband has an amazing ex-wife who had two children, no husband, but a very supportive family. She made it through nursing school a few years ago. She inspired me to push through as well... and I am very proud of her acocmplishment. :yeah:I am very lucky to have such a good relationship with her. All this said (and greatly condensed), I promise you that in 2 years, I will be an RN. I am NOT going to let these things set me back. I was married and had a baby by 19 years old, thus dampening my ability for college. I put it off for about 14 years before I finally decided I was at a place where I could pursue this dream and make it a reality. I believe it is always now or never because we are never guaranteed anything beyond what we have right now (as far as opportunities go). I believe my kids are a reason to go back, they will need me to be independent and have a stable profession. They are learning to set goals and meet them. I believe I needed to go back to school so that my family can have two dependable incomes and the burden doesn't rest solely on my husband. But above all, I want to do this for ME. I deserve the opportunity to serve others in this capacity, to have a skilled profession, to have a legacy, and to stand on my own two feet should I ever need it. What would happen if I lost my husband? I shutter to think. I am a little late in life, but better late than never. Never give up on your dreams. Don't get me wrong, timing is an obvious issue, especially for mommies with families. However, think about what you want and why you want it. You can do this if it is something you truly desire. If you pass it up now, you may not be blessed with another opportunity. I wish you the absolute best and pray you make the best decision for you and your family. I hope things work out well. Alisha

Scribbler, Thanks for your response! I am entering into our program tomorrow, and though I am excited, I have already heard and read so much about careplans that I am already a little intimidated. Your reasoning and explanations will likely live in the back of my mind for a good while to come. Thanks for your detailed response - it's already helped me reflect on what I have read up to this point.

Thanks, SlightlyMental_RN. I guess learning to breathe through your mouth has got to be a learned skill. I have tried it before, but was very unsuccessful at it because I still smell everything quite well. I sure hope I get used to it quickly!

I am very much looking forward to starting the nursing program this spring (I got my acceptance letter not too long ago). :) I have a genuine love for people and their well-being and am so thankful to FINALLY have the opporunity to pursue this goal. I am not squeemish to the sight of blood, internal organs, or even excrement. I do, however, fear I am going to have an issue with smells. LOL I know it sounds contradictory... the SIGHT doesn't bother me at all... but the SMELLS of nursing, I am guessing, cannot be easy to deal with all the time. Can any of you experienced nurses offer any advice or relate to this? I am confident I will adapt, but am just curious of other people's experiences. Thanks for your comments in advance!

I recently got accepted into the ADN program at my community college and I am so excited! I have completed all the paperwork given me so far (background check, titer, physical, and immunizations) - I am sure there's more to come...but I am very excited and wish everyone the absolute best luck and wishes in your future careers!

I just finished Psych: Personality Theory, and yes, sex is listed in my textbook at the base (a basic need). I am also currently taking Psych: Human Sexuality, and after studying the two, I figure it belongs in the "basic needs" category. Basic needs is not just what you as an individual needs to survive, but what the species as a whole needs to not just survive, but thrive. Therefore, no sex, no reproduction...no reproduction, no human species. Just keep in mind, it's someone's theory, and not a proven fact. Further, in my humble opinion, sex does not necessary equal love and/or belonging and that is why it is not placed in there in Maslow's Heirachy of Needs (at least it's what I assume). He suggests that intimacy is not equated with sex, and therefore, sex is a basic need. Good luck with whatever psych you are studying... Personality Theory was a lot of ground to cover.