I just need a place to vent and get some feedback. I've been dating this guy for about 4 years, and he proposed on Christmas day 2016. Naturally I'm ecstatic, and as soon as we get back from visiting his folks, I start planning the wedding. Its my first marriage/engagement, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. After many many phone calls and negotiations with family members and venues, I get my date. July 29th. Fantastic.
At work, our bi-annual PTO sign up starts Jan 1st to the 14th for PTO through the month of august. I sign up on the 4th of Jan for my wedding week and the week after. I'm in a hospital, work 3 12s a week. By the time my wedding rolls around I will have more than enough PTO to cover. I also email both my manager and clinical coordinator and let them know I am getting married.
Yesterday, my PTO was denied. Naturally I'm hurt and heart broken, and I ask them why. I get told PTO is handed out based on seniority, and only so many nurses per shift can be off. I'm a full time night shift nurse. During my week I wanted, there are 5 day nurses and only 1 other night nurse off, but I get told they are full for vacation that week. When I point out the numbers, I get told I'm being difficult to coach. I was told that I should have picked a date at a less busy time for our unit. I was told that if I want my wedding off I need to find someone willing to cover my shifts for me.
I'm heartbroken and enraged and I can feel my emotions eating away at me. I love being a nurse, I've been in the field since 2010, but I hate coming to work any more. Especially now.
My unit is a busy medical unit in a small magnet hospital in a rural state. I will have been on this floor for 2 years in July, and plan to have finished up my BSN by the end of this year. I'm thinking of bailing after the wedding and going to another floor, perhaps float pool where I imagine its a much more flexible schedule.
What do you guys think? How would you handle this?
Specializes in Float Pool - A Little Bit of Everything.
It amazes me that any employer would tell someone to plan a life event like a wedding, around their schedule. I would would tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and have fun finding a new staff member and paying for my turnover. I never put my job before my family, your new husband is your family.
Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
It amazes me that any employer would tell someone to plan a life event like a wedding, around their schedule. I would would tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and have fun finding a new staff member and paying for my turnover. I never put my job before my family, your new husband is your family.
Based on what information was given to us, I don't think the employer told the OP to plan their wedding around the hospital's schedule. It seems more like the OP just assumed she would get the time off without checking/asking despite having a protocol in place for signing up for summer vacations. Either that, or she didn't know the vacation sign up protocol despite being there for two years - either way, poor planning on one's end doesn't mean that the hospital is a crappy employer to work for.
I would never plan anything major, whether that is a vacation, booking a flight/hotel/cruise, a wedding, etc. without being aware of what my hospital's policy is in regards to PTO/vacation sign up and getting that time off, especially if I were a less senior nurse. The only time I have ever prebooked anything without officially having the time off already is when we cruise every year during off season in October and book 6-9 months out - I know this is not a busy request time for my particular department and am as close to being guaranteed those days off as I can be in that far in advance, plus I purchase the flexible option so that IF I needed to change dates, I could.
This is far enough in advance that you should just find a new job and quit. I'm a little put off by all the advocates for putting the unit before your life, but that's the lay of (some people's) land I guess.
I would agree that as nurses we need to be willing to walk away from any job, but I'm skeptical that the OP would have any better luck securing specific multi-week vacation at the peak of summer PTO time as a new-hire, even at the most employee-friendly places.
It amazes me that any employer would tell someone to plan a life event like a wedding, around their schedule. I would would tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and have fun finding a new staff member and paying for my turnover. I never put my job before my family, your new husband is your family.
So what happens when 4 nurses all want their major life event the same week? What if I'm not getting married, but I consider getting a new cat a major life event? What if this is my fourth major? Does someone's first marriage bump my fourth? This is a super slippery slope. That's what time off is just granted by seniority.
Congrats on your engagement!! Just a thought... can you take the one week off for the wedding (I mean that is if your schedule is Saturday.. if not.. do you need any time off?) then just let plan a honeymoon for later? I graduate nursing school in December and we are postponing the honeymoon until after I graduate, even though we get married in October. I know it's not as fun to wait but as we all know... nothing is perfect and it's prob better to just work around the issue instead of being miserable at work. I totally understand your pain though and I would be pissed. Just a positive suggestion!
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
That is what I suggested ^ already earlier in the thread. Interestingly, where is the OP?
I was active military when I got married. (as was my spouse). Instant gratification was just not a given. I got married on the weekend, back at work Monday. It was a lovely day; family came down for the event and we had a nice small affair with family and friends who mattered to us.
Honeymoon when I was able to take leave. Lived to tell the tale, still married and happy many years later. The wedding is but a blip in your long life of events. It's the MARRIAGE that is EVERYTHING.
That's life. Take the honeymoon at a later date. Save lots of money and go BIG. Believe me, you will be glad for it.
It amazes me that any employer would tell someone to plan a life event like a wedding, around their schedule. I would would tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and have fun finding a new staff member and paying for my turnover. I never put my job before my family, your new husband is your family.
Have you ever actually taken this approach?
Did you work because you needed the money or did you not really need an income?
Maybe you could give some examples of putting family before job?
I would agree that as nurses we need to be willing to walk away from any job, but I'm skeptical that the OP would have any better luck securing specific multi-week vacation at the peak of summer PTO time as a new-hire, even at the most employee-friendly places.
True. Unless she got approval in writing, before signing on at a new place. Still not a 100% guarantee.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
It's crazy to me that so many people are suggesting the OP quit just because she wasn't able to get the time off. Because the OP assumed she would get the time off, booked her wedding & then got upset when she didn't get the time off. That sounds like such a non issue.
I love my family but how am I going to support them if I quit (don't have another job lined up) or get fired? If the OP already had another job waiting for her then yeah, quit. But I would never quit over something small like that or without another job to go to.
NotYourMamasRN
317 Posts
It amazes me that any employer would tell someone to plan a life event like a wedding, around their schedule. I would would tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine and have fun finding a new staff member and paying for my turnover. I never put my job before my family, your new husband is your family.