Denied PTO for my marriage

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jan 20, 2017

Your facility must have a strict PTO policy if the sign up periods are bi-annual. Any other facility I worked in, it was monthly, with summer vacations limited to 2 weeks.

You were aware of this restriction. You should have gotten your time off, then planned the wedding. Management does not give a rat's patooty what the time off is for. They do not care about employee work-life balance, they care about their staffing balance.

I would bail before the wedding, but that's just me.

Sour Lemon · Jan 20, 2017

July really is a busy month for vacations, and if you're one of the newer staff members on the unit, I can see how you'd get denied.

If the date were super-important to me, I'd probably resign before the wedding and look for work elsewhere after the wedding. If my job were more important, I'd pick a new wedding date.

Davey Do · Jan 20, 2017

What do you guys think? How would you handle this?

Management does not give a rat's patooty what the time off is for.

Amen.

Determine your priorities, ryuunohime, and go from there.

When I really wanted to take time off, and had been denied, I have just called off, by saying, "I'm calling off".

I figured I had give them a chance to plan for my time off. Lack of planning on their part is not a prosperity on mine.

Congrats and well wishes, ryuunohime!

Bo,RN · Jan 20, 2017

When I really wanted to take time off, and had been denied, I have just called off, by saying, "I'm calling off".
I figured I had give them a chance to plan for my time off. Lack of planning on their part is not a prosperity on mine.

At my hospital calling off after being denied PTO is grounds for dismissal.

I would bail before the wedding, but that's just me.

Agree.

Davey Do · Jan 20, 2017

At my hospital calling off after being denied PTO is grounds for dismissal.

Like I said,

Determine your priorities

Swellz · Jan 20, 2017

Congratulations! I'm sorry you're in this situation. If you're planning on leaving this job anyway, I would just leave before your wedding. I can't imagine trying to scramble to get shifts covered right beforehand.

Jules A, MSN · Jan 20, 2017

July really is a busy month for vacations, and if you're one of the newer staff members on the unit, I can see how you'd get denied.
If the date were super-important to me, I'd probably resign before the wedding and look for work elsewhere after the wedding. If my job were more important, I'd pick a new wedding date.

Yeah July vacations especially only 6 months in advance can be tough to secure. First I would try to get someone to cover-- in writing. Its only 3 shifts hopefully some of your colleagues will pitch in and help you out. If not then I'd proceed to Sour Lemon's advice above. Good luck.

roser13, ASN, RN · Jan 20, 2017

Yeah July vacations especially only 6 months in advance can be tough to secure. First I would try to get someone to cover-- in writing. Its only 3 shifts hopefully some of your colleagues will pitch into and help you out. If not then I'd proceed to Sour Lemon's advice above. Good luck.

Actually, it's 6 shifts.

blondy2061h, MSN, RN · Jan 20, 2017

Yikes, what a situation to be in! First off, congrats on your engagement!

My hospital only grants vacation weeks once a year and only one person per shift per unit can be off per week. So there is no way I would have booked anything before the weeks I wanted were guaranteed off.

That being said- there is one approach here. You could try pleading your case to the people who were approved for those weeks. You can even try sweetening the deal to trade with you, to the point where you're not crossing ethical lines.

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 20, 2017

You expected to get 2 weeks in July off? That's not very realistic in most hospitals. July is one of the most popular months for summer vacations and it is not realistic to expect to get 2 weeks during that month. I would never have requested it.

But now that you have been denied ...

1. You need to take a few deep breaths and come to terms with the fact that your request was unrealistic. It's OK to be disappointed, but don't blame your managers more than they deserve. You should have talked to them before setting a firm date to determine what would be possible.

2. After you have calmed down, decide whether or not you want to keep this job. If you don't then plan on resigning shortly before your wedding -- unless you find a good job before that.

3. Start assessing where else you might want to work so that you don't become desperate for a new job while you are in the midst of your wedding and adjusting to married life. If you can find a good job before your wedding that will allow you the time off you will want in July and August... go ahead and take it. If not, at least you will have done some of your homework before you really need a new job.

4. If you decide that in the long run, you want to keep your job ... then talk with you manager about what might be possible. Perhaps you can get the week off after your wedding for a honeymoon. Or perhaps you can negotiate the week before your wedding off -- and take a honeymoon a month or so later. I've known lots of people who have done that.

5. You might have to change your date. That wouldn't be the end of the world. Maybe a few family members won't be there. But again, that's not the end of the world. Think about the millions of people who have gotten married throughout history. Very few of them had "picture-perfect," fantasy weddings. Most people make compromises. Some great marriages begin in the office of a Justice of the Peace. Be willing to make a few compromises. Your marriage is the important thing -- not the fantasy ceremony and reception.

Libby1987 · Jan 20, 2017

Going hard against the grain here, a wedding in its planning infancy is just a fancy future party at this point. You can throw a dart at the calendar and many dates would work.

If your first grandchild's due date is the end of July and lives across the country with its military parents, not as much flexibility there. But a big celebration that you just decided to have, a lot of flexibility.

When I'm looking to take a chunk of time off, I have asked my manager which block is open, took it and then started the planning. It would not have occurred to book the occasion prior to requesting the time off. Have had time denied yet.

I sure wouldn't leave a job over it and go to an unknown employer who may have responded the same.