Denied PTO for my marriage

Nurses Relations

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Hey fellow nurses,

I just need a place to vent and get some feedback. I've been dating this guy for about 4 years, and he proposed on Christmas day 2016. Naturally I'm ecstatic, and as soon as we get back from visiting his folks, I start planning the wedding. Its my first marriage/engagement, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. After many many phone calls and negotiations with family members and venues, I get my date. July 29th. Fantastic.

At work, our bi-annual PTO sign up starts Jan 1st to the 14th for PTO through the month of august. I sign up on the 4th of Jan for my wedding week and the week after. I'm in a hospital, work 3 12s a week. By the time my wedding rolls around I will have more than enough PTO to cover. I also email both my manager and clinical coordinator and let them know I am getting married.

Yesterday, my PTO was denied. Naturally I'm hurt and heart broken, and I ask them why. I get told PTO is handed out based on seniority, and only so many nurses per shift can be off. I'm a full time night shift nurse. During my week I wanted, there are 5 day nurses and only 1 other night nurse off, but I get told they are full for vacation that week. When I point out the numbers, I get told I'm being difficult to coach. I was told that I should have picked a date at a less busy time for our unit. I was told that if I want my wedding off I need to find someone willing to cover my shifts for me.

I'm heartbroken and enraged and I can feel my emotions eating away at me. I love being a nurse, I've been in the field since 2010, but I hate coming to work any more. Especially now.

My unit is a busy medical unit in a small magnet hospital in a rural state. I will have been on this floor for 2 years in July, and plan to have finished up my BSN by the end of this year. I'm thinking of bailing after the wedding and going to another floor, perhaps float pool where I imagine its a much more flexible schedule.

What do you guys think? How would you handle this?

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Hooooooo boy. I hear ya ^^^^ My "baby" turns 18 next month and is already a full time college student. Can't wait to take vacations on "off" times now. Not having to work around one of my kids' school schedules and lives will be a royal treat. I waited 25 years for this time and we are already planning our big trip for our next anniversary which happens to be at the beginning of December. A time few people ask for PTO---- right between Thanksgiving and Christmas. YESSS!!!! New life awaits us!

I will be glad to leave the fray and mad dash for those school-scheduled vacation times and kid-centered trips. To be able to schedule PTO and just "go" any time of the year will be awesome.

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Specializes in Pedi.
Silly how? I don't have any children, and I enjoy being able to vacation during the school year precisely because I am not interested in spending my vacation time having to tolerate other people's children and summertime crowds. I can't think of the last time I took a vacation in the summer. Oh, wait, I can -- it was in the summer of 1993, when I was in graduate school and locked into a traditional academic schedule because of my own studies. Not since then.

My boyfriend actually asked if I wanted to go to Yosemite this summer and I said, "no, not in the summer. I don't go on vacations in the summer. We can go the week after Labor Day."

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My boyfriend actually asked if I wanted to go to Yosemite this summer and I said, "no, not in the summer. I don't go on vacations in the summer. We can go the week after Labor Day."

Oooh, my one exception to avoiding crowds: natural phenomena. Yosemite is worth the crowds if you want to see the waterfalls in full spring/early summer glory.

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Specializes in Pedi.
Oooh, my one exception to avoiding crowds: natural phenomena. Yosemite is worth the crowds if you want to see the waterfalls in full spring/early summer glory.

Maybe Memorial Day then. :)

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Specializes in Heme Onc.

Just find a new job and start it fresh with them knowing you're getting married in July. Prioritizing someone else's seniority so they can go to Myrtle Beach for a week over one of the most important events in your life is ludicrous and cruel. There are places with more reasonable and respectful policies

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Specializes in Hospice.
Just find a new job and start it fresh with them knowing you're getting married in July. Prioritizing someone else's seniority so they can go to Myrtle Beach for a week over one of the most important events in your life is ludicrous and cruel. There are places with more reasonable and respectful policies

Oh, please! As a coworker, I couldn't care less about your wedding. Demanding that an employer prioritize your personal priorities over other employees' is beyond entitled.

All an employer is required to do to show respect is to establish a clear process for requesting/granting pto and to stick to it. If the OP's wedding was of such overriding importance even to her, then she would have had her I's dotted and her T's crossed to ensure the time off was approved. She chose to blithely go forward without doing so ... the consequences are on her. She got exactly the same respect she showed her employer and coworkers.

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Just find a new job and start it fresh with them knowing you're getting married in July. Prioritizing someone else's seniority so they can go to Myrtle Beach for a week over one of the most important events in your life is ludicrous and cruel. There are places with more reasonable and respectful policies

Is this post for real? There's a reason policies regarding time off are made- the fact that you think someone's wedding is more important than someone else's plans is incredibly subjective. Having a policy takes subjectivity out of the equation. And my vacation is one heck of a big priority to me, thank you very much.

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Not saying it's completely fair. I think by Seniority maybe you should get first choice on two weeks a year, not every time you decide to take time off. So the person I work with could pick spring break and the second week in July but not Thanksgiving week.

Some places say that no one can take vacation around Thanksgiving and no one can have off from about December 20 - Jan 2. Then they give time off to a couple of managers and a couple of other select staff, thereby causing much anger and aggravation to staff who figured they were for real when they first said no one could have off during these times and, accordingly, did not request time during these prime times.

Such trickery makes a nurse want to become a nurse in other than a 24/7/365 setting for sure.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Some places say that no one can take vacation around Thanksgiving and no one can have off from about December 20 - Jan 2. Then they give time off to a couple of managers and a couple of other select staff, thereby causing much anger and aggravation to staff who figured they were for real when they first said no one could have off during these times and, accordingly, did not request time during these prime times.

Such trickery makes a nurse want to become a nurse in other than a 24/7/365 setting for sure.

Wow really? In 20 years, in several hospitals and other places, union and non-union places, I have never, ever run into this.

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