Denied PTO for my marriage

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Jan 26, 2017

This!

Exactly. I quit a job (it was going down the tubes & the case ended 1-2 weeks after I quit) but then I didn't have a back up plan nor was my husband working at the time. That is how I ended up maxing out 3 credit cards & am now in *serious* debt.

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 27, 2017

Great, enlightening conversation, but the OP is gone with the wind. I am sure, it is because she is unhappy the majority don't agree that she "deserves" the whole two weeks off for her nearly-impromptu wedding/honeymoon plans and PTO request. I understand her frustration, but it may help to try and put herself in the manager's position (if she is capable), and try to realize a manager has a unit to staff and that some requests are not reasonable and cannot be approved, no matter how important they seem to be to the person making them. If the two whole weeks are that important, and it were me, I would have the wedding and honeymoon in 2018, not 2017. Better planning is in order.

Editorial Team / Admin · Jan 27, 2017

If the two weeks are that important, and it were me, I would have the wedding and honeymoon in 2018, not 2017. Better planning is in order.

Agree. And the big thing to realize is that there will likely be no date that every single family member and friend can make. Pick a date, and those who can make it will; those who can't won't. For those to whom it's important, they'll make an effort. There is so much more that has to go into planning a wedding than just trying to pick a date for everyone to make- venues that are available, ability to take off work, etc.

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 27, 2017

When I got married, I had a different idea about my wedding. I realized a wedding was ONE day. Marriage was for a lifetime. I had a small, inexpensive wedding. Something very affordable and intimate. 35 people, and no debt. I figured it was important but it was just one day. I also knew there was no way at the time I would be able to get a lot of time off because it was nearly Christmas and a lot of people were requesting time off at that time and being military, we don't always get what we want. The people I cared about were there. It was a lovely, sunny 80 degree day in Arizona and I have wonderful memories. But looking back, it was just one day; the marriage has had many events since then, births of my children, their many "firsts" and life events that were just as important, if not more so. I am grateful I was able to see that it was just one day and not put too much emphasis or stress on that one day and just enjoy it, totally relaxed and happy. The years since have had their ups and downs, but the marriage itself has been a blessing. No regrets.

I think some weddings are just too expensive, over-done, and stressful. I have been to many where the bride was in tears (not happy tears) because things were not "just so" or she was stressed-out, and others where the parents or couple went thousands and thousands of dollars in debt to pay for that one-day event.

I did not want that for us. I wanted to focus on our future together instead. But, I suppose, I digress.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Jan 27, 2017

I understand her frustration, but it may help to try and put herself in the manager's position (if she is capable), and try to realize a manager has a unit to staff and that some requests are not reasonable and cannot be approved, no matter how important they seem to be to the person making them.

This! I'm sure there are a lot of managers who are just terrible at their job but we forget what it's like/could be like to be in their shoes, have to approve or deny vacation time. Not everyone can get what they want & I'm sure after some requests are denied the manager only gets poopoo'd on. Because "it's the manager's fault". A hospital never closes, people need help/get sick even when you have a wedding/special event.

I think it's funny because a majority of us didn't tell the OP what she wanted, she just *poofed" into thin air.

carebear1980 · Jan 28, 2017

So Foggnm what do you do instead of hospital work??

To the OP, I think it is a chronic staffing shortage even more so on night shifts and especially 12 hour night shifts. I work these shifts myself and the big problem is always short staffing to begin with. Not always but I think for people who don't work these shifts they don't see it. I was constantly denied PTO no matter how far in advance, or even with just one shift requested. I was always told to find my own coverage. It does seem unfair that you work and EARN PTO and than can not use it as you wish. After all the PTO/CTO is not supposed to be just time needed as others suggest it is something you Earned! and need doesn't always have to apply. I understand that managers have to say no but think that they should try to help come up with a solution as well. I can say that I worked a lot of overtime on my unit and it is disappointing to be always helping out your employer when they are short, but not getting that back from them when you want time off. Unless you find an alternative to hospital work I do not see how this will change. Unfortunately we are just warm bodies to these places. Congrats and good luck.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Jan 28, 2017

So Foggnm what do you do instead of hospital work??
To the OP, I think it is a chronic staffing shortage even more so on night shifts and especially 12 hour night shifts. I work these shifts myself and the big problem is always short staffing to begin with. Not always but I think for people who don't work these shifts they don't see it. I was constantly denied PTO no matter how far in advance, or even with just one shift requested. I was always told to find my own coverage. It does seem unfair that you work and EARN PTO and than can not use it as you wish. After all the PTO/CTO is not supposed to be just time needed as others suggest it is something you Earned! and need doesn't always have to apply. I understand that managers have to say no but think that they should try to help come up with a solution as well. I can say that I worked a lot of overtime on my unit and it is disappointing to be always helping out your employer when they are short, but not getting that back from them when you want time off. Unless you find an alternative to hospital work I do not see how this will change. Unfortunately we are just warm bodies to these places. Congrats and good luck.

What solution is there? The manager's hands are tied if hospital won't allow the night shift to hire any more nurses. There's only so much they can do. It sucks, I've worked night shift before. But the manager can only do as much as they are allowed.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 28, 2017

So Foggnm what do you do instead of hospital work??
To the OP, I think it is a chronic staffing shortage even more so on night shifts and especially 12 hour night shifts. I work these shifts myself and the big problem is always short staffing to begin with. Not always but I think for people who don't work these shifts they don't see it. I was constantly denied PTO no matter how far in advance, or even with just one shift requested. I was always told to find my own coverage. It does seem unfair that you work and EARN PTO and than can not use it as you wish. After all the PTO/CTO is not supposed to be just time needed as others suggest it is something you Earned! and need doesn't always have to apply. I understand that managers have to say no but think that they should try to help come up with a solution as well. I can say that I worked a lot of overtime on my unit and it is disappointing to be always helping out your employer when they are short, but not getting that back from them when you want time off. Unless you find an alternative to hospital work I do not see how this will change. Unfortunately we are just warm bodies to these places. Congrats and good luck.

It isn't reasonable to expect to get PTO for peak summer vacation time with little notice when you're fairly junior on the seniority list. The OP hadn't even tried to work something out. She just submitted a request and came here for sympathy when it was turned down. If you want the time off, there are creative solutions. If you want PTO, you have to request it in advance. It's not that difficult.

KelRN215, BSN, RN · Jan 29, 2017

This thread reminds me of how much I don't miss the mad-dash to the summer vacation request list, which was typically posted in March, from when I was a staff nurse. People would text those working that day to sign them up for vacation, people would rush to the floor on their day off to have first dibs at that sheet. Very cut-throat. Though, on the floor I worked on, any staff getting married in the summer was guaranteed 2 weeks off, regardless of seniority. All they had to do was tell the manager when their wedding was and what week(s) they wanted off and their vacation went on the schedule before anyone else had the chance to request anything.

I would quit over this if push came to shove. A few years ago, I was working as a clinical manager at a small home care agency. I had a vacation planned 6 months in advance. My immediate manager knew about it. Then she left so I put said vacation on the company-wide calendar before the new manager started so as to avoid any issues. (The new manager had been hired but not started by the time I did this.) My director responded to the request and said "since this will affect [New Manager] greatly, let's all talk about this." I knew then that if she tried to deny me my vacation time, I would immediately give notice that October 16th would be my last day. (And no, I wasn't concerned that they would let me go on the spot if it came to that, it's been 20 months since I left that job and they've never been able to find someone new to hold that position.) Anyway, once I said "I already paid for everything" it turned into "we'll work it out" and it was never mentioned again before I went. And it wasn't going to affect new manager greatly (she even said so when I told her about it after the fact), I had a set colleague who covered for me when I was away at that job.

Perhaps six months after this, my colleague had an international vacation planned, booked, etc as well. She had arranged for the rest of us to cover for her. Because the agency out of the blue scheduled a new computer system roll-out for the week she was to be away, our director told her she couldn't go. I remember very clearly when she texted me about that (we worked out of different offices). I responded immediately that I would quit over that, and I would have. She canceled her plans and rescheduled her vacation. We both ended up leaving this company within a couple months after that anyway and her new job honored her rescheduled vacation.

caliotter3 · Jan 29, 2017

..... and her new job honored her rescheduled vacation.

Amazing how one employer will work with an employee request and another can't seem to lift their little finger.

ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP · Jan 30, 2017

It isn't reasonable to expect to get PTO for peak summer vacation time with little notice when you're fairly junior on the seniority list. The OP hadn't even tried to work something out. She just submitted a request and came here for sympathy when it was turned down. If you want the time off, there are creative solutions. If you want PTO, you have to request it in advance. It's not that difficult.

I have to agree with you.

I knew going into my new job, getting summer PTO was going to be a problem. Know what I did? I picked a winter month to take an international trip. There is always some place warm in the world!

Best months are February and September from my personal experience. I had no problem getting a couple weeks off (and with creative scheduling, an additional eight days without touching vacation time) next month, and I don't think I should have any problems getting anything in early/mid September.

KelRN215, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2017

I have to agree with you.
I knew going into my new job, getting summer PTO was going to be a problem. Know what I did? I picked a winter month to take an international trip. There is always some place warm in the world!
Best months are February and September from my personal experience. I had no problem getting a couple weeks off (and with creative scheduling, an additional eight days without touching vacation time) next month, and I don't think I should have any problems getting anything in early/mid September.

I never go on vacation in the summer. It's infinitely easier to get vacation time in the non-summer, flights are cheaper and I'd rather leave the Northeast in the winter than in the few months it's actually warm here. Plus everyone with kids is going away in the summer so I'm not competing with anyone for vacation time when I go away when everyone else has kids in school. I've gone on 2 vacations since the first week in December, actually.

I have always, since I first started my career, taken my big vacations during "non-peak" times and have never had a problem getting time off. I tend go a lot in September and January.