Denied PTO for my marriage

Nurses Relations

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Hey fellow nurses,

I just need a place to vent and get some feedback. I've been dating this guy for about 4 years, and he proposed on Christmas day 2016. Naturally I'm ecstatic, and as soon as we get back from visiting his folks, I start planning the wedding. Its my first marriage/engagement, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. After many many phone calls and negotiations with family members and venues, I get my date. July 29th. Fantastic.

At work, our bi-annual PTO sign up starts Jan 1st to the 14th for PTO through the month of august. I sign up on the 4th of Jan for my wedding week and the week after. I'm in a hospital, work 3 12s a week. By the time my wedding rolls around I will have more than enough PTO to cover. I also email both my manager and clinical coordinator and let them know I am getting married.

Yesterday, my PTO was denied. Naturally I'm hurt and heart broken, and I ask them why. I get told PTO is handed out based on seniority, and only so many nurses per shift can be off. I'm a full time night shift nurse. During my week I wanted, there are 5 day nurses and only 1 other night nurse off, but I get told they are full for vacation that week. When I point out the numbers, I get told I'm being difficult to coach. I was told that I should have picked a date at a less busy time for our unit. I was told that if I want my wedding off I need to find someone willing to cover my shifts for me.

I'm heartbroken and enraged and I can feel my emotions eating away at me. I love being a nurse, I've been in the field since 2010, but I hate coming to work any more. Especially now.

My unit is a busy medical unit in a small magnet hospital in a rural state. I will have been on this floor for 2 years in July, and plan to have finished up my BSN by the end of this year. I'm thinking of bailing after the wedding and going to another floor, perhaps float pool where I imagine its a much more flexible schedule.

What do you guys think? How would you handle this?

Oh man, they DO sound strict!! I'm not sure if it's been mentioned before, but maybe you can ask around for coverage? If my colleague was getting married and she asked me, I personally would do it without batting an eyelash!

If that doesn't work, try to bail ASAP before you lose out on your deposit/plans, etc. Or you could always call in sick, though I think they would suspect :wideyed:

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Oh man, they DO sound strict!! I'm not sure if it's been mentioned before, but maybe you can ask around for coverage? If my colleague was getting married and she asked me, I personally would do it without batting an eyelash!

:wideyed:

Covering for someone is easier said than done. If you are a regular employee and you decided to work extra to cover your co-workers wedding plans you will now be on overtime and likely management won't allow it. If you were already granted that week off and booked airline and/or hotel reservations are you willing to lose your $$$ so your co-worker can get married. If you are a PRN nurse and can work for them that is different. Covering for one shift is different than 1-2 weeks.

It sure is tough in this field to get time off unless you have seniority. I'd try and work with management to come up with a time you can get off. If you can take the hit financially or professionally quit your job and find another one. Not everyone is in a position to be able to do that.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.

It sure is tough in this field to get time off unless you have seniority.

Maybe it is different in pediatric-teaching-hospitals-world, but in my over 10 years of nursing I have never found it difficult to get time off, even when I didn't have seniority.

There is a difference between getting time off, and getting a specific time off. No matter what your seniority, you have to be flexible. And be realistic...

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

Can someone explain the justification for the OP quitting her job? She made plans & didn't check with work if it was ok. The fault is on the OP, not the hospital. Why should she quit just because she didn't get the time off she wanted?

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Can someone explain the justification for the OP quitting her job? She made plans & didn't check with work if it was ok. The fault is on the OP, not the hospital. Why should she quit just because she didn't get the time off she wanted?

I agree with you; but you know there are going to be those who argue that the facility is "being mean" to deny her the exact time off she wants, when she wants it because she has such special plans. We see these special snowflakes from time to time, and they're multiplying like bunnies.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I agree with you; but you know there are going to be those who argue that the facility is "being mean" to deny her the exact time off she wants, when she wants it because she has such special plans. We see these special snowflakes from time to time, and they're multiplying like bunnies.

That scares me! How are the OP's plans any different/better/more important than anyone else's on the unit? Maybe I'm biased because I didn't have a wedding, just eloped at the Justice of the Peace. I know a wedding is a big deal to people but the OP really put the cart before the horse on this one. Booking a venue & etc before she knew for 100% certain she would have the time off. That's not the hospital's fault, it's hers. I would *never* book something without knowing for sure I got the time off. I feel like common sense isn't as common as it should be.

Also, how had the OP been working at her facility for so long & *just now* found out the procedure to request time off?

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It could be a lot worse. There are a lot of things nurses need time off for that they have no control over (deaths, illness, even a close family member's wedding)... but your own wedding date? You have the power to change that. I get that it's frustrating not to get your first-choice of dates. However, this is nothing to quit a job over, IMO. You can't work in an acute setting and expect to get time off whenever you need it. Heck, I work outpatient and I don't even get that.

Also, I know we all have vastly different ideas of what a wedding should look like. However, as others have suggested, I think a small wedding followed by a longer honeymoon later on is a wonderful idea. Personally, I'd rather spend my money (and vacation time) on travel than on a wedding party, but that's just me.

Finally, for those of you saying that 'life is too short, just quit' and 'put your family first' - that attitude is just not realistic for most people. If you can afford to lose your income until finding another job and (potentially) burn bridges with your former colleagues, you are in a very comfortable minority.

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Covering for someone is easier said than done. If you are a regular employee and you decided to work extra to cover your co-workers wedding plans you will now be on overtime and likely management won't allow it. If you were already granted that week off and booked airline and/or hotel reservations are you willing to lose your $$$ so your co-worker can get married. If you are a PRN nurse and can work for them that is different. Covering for one shift is different than 1-2 weeks.

It sure is tough in this field to get time off unless you have seniority. I'd try and work with management to come up with a time you can get off. If you can take the hit financially or professionally quit your job and find another one. Not everyone is in a position to be able to do that.

I hear you 100%, but when I worked in a hospital people would just switch days off. You were required to work 13 shifts a month with at least 3 shifts a week, so if my colleague needed X day off I would make that my 4 shift week and ask her to cover my schedule 4th shift that month. Management had no problem with this as long as there was sufficient coverage. No overtime would be needed.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I hear you 100%, but when I worked in a hospital people would just switch days off. You were required to work 13 shifts a month with at least 3 shifts a week, so if my colleague needed X day off I would make that my 4 shift week and ask her to cover my schedule 4th shift that month. Management had no problem with this as long as there was sufficient coverage. No overtime would be needed.

But the OP is needing 2 weeks off. Which is going to be a lot more difficult to get people to switch with you/cover you than just trading a day.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
It could be a lot worse. There are a lot of things nurses need time off for that they have no control over (deaths, illness, even a close family member's wedding)... but your own wedding date? You have the power to change that. I get that it's frustrating not to get your first-choice of dates. However, this is nothing to quit a job over, IMO. You can't work in an acute setting and expect to get time off whenever you need it. Heck, I work outpatient and I don't even get that.

Also, I know we all have vastly different ideas of what a wedding should look like. However, as others have suggested, I think a small wedding followed by a longer honeymoon later on is a wonderful idea. Personally, I'd rather spend my money (and vacation time) on travel than on a wedding party, but that's just me.

Finally, for those of you saying that 'life is too short, just quit' and 'put your family first' - that attitude is just not realistic for most people. If you can afford to lose your income until finding another job and (potentially) burn bridges with your former colleagues, you are in a very comfortable minority.

This!

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
But the OP is needing 2 weeks off. Which is going to be a lot more difficult to get people to switch with you/cover you than just trading a day.

The OP doesn't NEED two weeks off; the OP WANTS two weeks off. Yes, it's more difficult to get people to switch with you or cover for you than just trading a day. Assuming she works three days a week, she can work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday before her wedding, taking Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. Now she needs to find three people to cover for her honeymoon -- or three shifts to cover. She can arrange with her manager to cover those shifts (without PTO) by scheduling her for four days a week for the next three weeks, scheduling her for six days the week after she returns from her honeymoon or she can use her 4th of July holiday to cover 8 hours and hope to get cancelled for the remaining four hours and only have TWO shifts to cover. Depending upon how scheduling is done at her workplace, she can get two people to cover those shifts for her in exchange for her working a shift for each of them in the following schedule. She can "sweeten the deal" by offering to work their winter holidays for them. It means working Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's this year, but if the wedding is that important to her, many co-workers will jump on that. (That's how I was able to cover my long-planned trip to Europe for my fiftieth birthday when I had just started a job that year.)

If the OP really WANTS the time off for a July 29th wedding and a week afterward for a honeymoon, she can make it work. Unless she's already poisoned the pool of potential trades by incessant whining about "being denied PTO for my marriage." NOBODY gets PTO to cover their entire marriage; but days off for a wedding can be arranged with creativity, flexibility and a good attitude.

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I hear you 100%, but when I worked in a hospital people would just switch days off. You were required to work 13 shifts a month with at least 3 shifts a week, so if my colleague needed X day off I would make that my 4 shift week and ask her to cover my schedule 4th shift that month. Management had no problem with this as long as there was sufficient coverage. No overtime would be needed.

Also there are laws in certain states that mandate overtime based on how many hours in a week for 12 hour staff or hours in two weeks for 8 hour staff. If a staff member works 5 eight hour shifts a week, he can not work more than 10 shifts in two weeks without that being overtime. So management will say no. Again if you are PRN you can work more than you already do but still can't go over what the law says. and like the above poster said it is not one or two shifts it is two week which is anywhere from 10 shifts if full time 8 hour to 6 shifts if full time 12 hour.

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