I just need a place to vent and get some feedback. I've been dating this guy for about 4 years, and he proposed on Christmas day 2016. Naturally I'm ecstatic, and as soon as we get back from visiting his folks, I start planning the wedding. Its my first marriage/engagement, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. After many many phone calls and negotiations with family members and venues, I get my date. July 29th. Fantastic.
At work, our bi-annual PTO sign up starts Jan 1st to the 14th for PTO through the month of august. I sign up on the 4th of Jan for my wedding week and the week after. I'm in a hospital, work 3 12s a week. By the time my wedding rolls around I will have more than enough PTO to cover. I also email both my manager and clinical coordinator and let them know I am getting married.
Yesterday, my PTO was denied. Naturally I'm hurt and heart broken, and I ask them why. I get told PTO is handed out based on seniority, and only so many nurses per shift can be off. I'm a full time night shift nurse. During my week I wanted, there are 5 day nurses and only 1 other night nurse off, but I get told they are full for vacation that week. When I point out the numbers, I get told I'm being difficult to coach. I was told that I should have picked a date at a less busy time for our unit. I was told that if I want my wedding off I need to find someone willing to cover my shifts for me.
I'm heartbroken and enraged and I can feel my emotions eating away at me. I love being a nurse, I've been in the field since 2010, but I hate coming to work any more. Especially now.
My unit is a busy medical unit in a small magnet hospital in a rural state. I will have been on this floor for 2 years in July, and plan to have finished up my BSN by the end of this year. I'm thinking of bailing after the wedding and going to another floor, perhaps float pool where I imagine its a much more flexible schedule.
What do you guys think? How would you handle this?
3. if you already booked a venue etc, call out if you can't find coverage. what are they going to do, fire you for calling out? illegal. just make sure between now and then you don't call out.
4. another option - get a doctors note to be off work! tell your PCP you need time off for relaxation because your job is really stressing you out and affecting your psychosocial well-being...it will work.
Edit: never mind, looks like the "wannabe" part of your user name is outdated? Literally every place in my area has you request extended (more than 1 day off) time off around a year in advance
And I think it's hard to know 4-6 weeks in advance!
Like when you have to sign up in October for next year's benefits package, which doesn't start until about 6 months later.
OP - I am sorry you can't get the time off that you want, but I am not surprised. As many have stated, July is prime time. Kids are off of school and all that.
I agree you should ask your Manager to help you pick a different date and/or see if any of your coworkers will switch with you. If she's any kind of a person, she will help you. If she won't or says she can't, you really do have to decide whether to stay or go. If your coworkers can't or won't change their schedules, accept it graciously, don't make them feel guilty. In the long run, that just won't work out well for you.
If she does help you, problem pretty much solved.
It's only been 2 or 3 weeks since the proposal. BTW, Congrats!!!
You likely haven't booked all the photographers, and caterers, and the band or DJ or the church or the limo or the honeymoon yet. If you have and you can't change the contracts, then you have to do what you have to do.
I wish you all the best.
Oh - and while the Manager's job is to run the facility, a good Manager, a wise Manager does try (try - she's not a magician) to take care of her people. It is generally best, though, to not tell your personal business at work. Marriage, pregnancy until you can't hide it any more, personal stuff - just keep it inside. It will usually become gossip and you don't need that.
Wow, that is a crazy way to request time off! Stuff happens and not everyone has a crystal ball.
I echo the others. Either leave all together and give your two weeks notice (or whatever your policy says) or get into the float pool and hope it's flexible. I bet if they are so short that you can't be off the same time as another nurse, then they will be hurting once you leave.
You should come to my facility. Heck, we give everyone what they want and rarely if ever deny.
How do you give everyone what they want? Are you in a hospital or other facility that gives 24/7/365 care to live patients?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I've worked with several nurses over the years who have been in similar situations. I personally would not leave a job that I like (or even one I didn't like if I did not have a replacement job secured already) because of a situation like this - rules are rules and they are there for a reason. Basing PTO/vacation, especially at a busy time in July, is very commonly based on seniority and obviously unit needs. I know when I worked nights for years, we couldn't have the same amount of nurses sign up for vacation weeks on nights as they could have on days because we had less staff at night, so only one nurse at a time was able to be off for vacation on night shift versus 3 per week for days.
Another thing to consider is that even though your wedding is obviously important to you and it may not seem fair, many people who request PTO have similar situations and reason to request PTO which they feel are important to them as well. It wouldn't be fair to bend the rules for your wedding but not give the other nurse PTO to take a family vacation with their dying parents, for example. Almost everyone feels their needs are important to them and feels that should put them as a priority, which is why there needs to be some process for signing up for PTO in the first place.
As others suggested, I would try working with your coworkers to see if they are able to cover those six shifts or make trades to have as many days off without needing to take PTO as possible. If that doesn't work, I would suggest changing the date of your wedding after you speak with management to find a good time where you would be able to take 2 weeks off. It is the most stress free option for you, and you already have enough stress to deal with when planning a wedding.
P.S. this is one of many reasons why we eloped
If the OP has worked there nearly two years, I cannot understand why the vacation policy was apparently news to her. I can't imagine starting ANY wedding planning without ensuring that I could get the block of time off.
It is unrealistic to expect to get two weeks off during peak vacations time with so little notice when one is very junior on the staff. Weddings are important, yes. But if you want a big wedding in July, plan for 2018, not 2017.
There are many ways around this, including getting co-workers to "trade" with you. They'll work your shift in July in exchange for you working Independence Day, Thanksgiving or Christmas for them. They'll work your shift in exchange for $200 (or whatever flies in your unit). You get to work 6 days a week in the week before your vacation request and 6 days in the week AFTER your vacation request and you don't get any PTO. Change the date of your wedding to whatever block of time you can get off. Get married at the courthouse and take a week off for your honeymoon, "stacking" your shifts so you don't have to use PTO. Have the fancy wedding on July 29, go back to work Monday or Tuesday and take the fancy honeymoon when you can get a week off.
It isn't fair for one of the more senior people to be denied their vacation request because you didn't plan for the time off before you set your wedding date.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I have no qualms putting work before family because without work my family is not going to survive. IMO the new buzz words work life balance are as overrated as EBP and huddle.
Work-life balance is a great thing, but food on the table and roof over the head comes first! EBP is just the buzzword for what we've been doing all along, and "huddle" means communicate with your team. Ought to be able to manage that without the buzzword.
Work-life balance is a great thing, but food on the table and roof over the head comes first! EBP is just the buzzword for what we've been doing all along, and "huddle" means communicate with your team. Ought to be able to manage that without the buzzword.
I get that, but this is supposedly a professional job and management should be a bit more collaborative with solutions. I would expect this type of condescension from a retail or hospitality outfit, not from a so-called professional environment.
ETA: There's nothing wrong with leaving a job if it doesn't meet your scheduling needs.
Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
I get that, but this is supposedly a professional job and management should be a bit more collaborative with solutions. I would expect this type of condescension from a retail or hospitality outfit, not from a so-called professional environment.
ETA: There's nothing wrong with leaving a job if it doesn't meet your scheduling needs.
There's nothing wrong with leaving a job for ANY reason you decide to, as long as you are professional about it and give the appropriate notice...however, IMHO, this isn't an issue of the unit not meeting her scheduling needs, this is an issue of unrealistic expectations on her behalf and a sense of entitlement because she feels her wedding is more important than the other requests which follow policy.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I get that, but this is supposedly a professional job and management should be a bit more collaborative with solutions. I would expect this type of condescension from a retail or hospitality outfit, not from a so-called professional environment.
ETA: There's nothing wrong with leaving a job if it doesn't meet your scheduling needs.
The nurse is supposedly a professional and should have initiated a collaborative discussion about solutions rather than just assuming that her special plans trumped everyone else's.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
A lot of facilities won't allow this, including the one I work at.
My former workplace allowed personal leaves of absence, which is why I had suggested it. Many of my former coworkers took extended time off to visit their native countries (e.g. Nigeria, Kenya, Ethiopia) so rather than lose the employee, HR and management would grant the leave of absence.
Summer is really tough for PTO. I'd honestly aim for splitting the honey moon or aiming more for the fall or early spring. Generally when school is in session or out.
And I think it's hard to know 4-6 weeks in advance! 
Love and commitment are becoming rare qualities in this Tinder/right-swipe/trade in/upgrade era we've entered. It's scary.
nursesaysay, LPN
21 Posts
1. a huge congratulations on getting engaged!
2. your work seems to have a very strict policy!
3. if you already booked a venue etc, call out if you can't find coverage. what are they going to do, fire you for calling out? illegal. just make sure between now and then you don't call out.
4. another option - get a doctors note to be off work! tell your PCP you need time off for relaxation because your job is really stressing you out and affecting your psychosocial well-being...it will work.
just my two cents :)