I just need a place to vent and get some feedback. I've been dating this guy for about 4 years, and he proposed on Christmas day 2016. Naturally I'm ecstatic, and as soon as we get back from visiting his folks, I start planning the wedding. Its my first marriage/engagement, so I really have no idea what I'm doing. After many many phone calls and negotiations with family members and venues, I get my date. July 29th. Fantastic.
At work, our bi-annual PTO sign up starts Jan 1st to the 14th for PTO through the month of august. I sign up on the 4th of Jan for my wedding week and the week after. I'm in a hospital, work 3 12s a week. By the time my wedding rolls around I will have more than enough PTO to cover. I also email both my manager and clinical coordinator and let them know I am getting married.
Yesterday, my PTO was denied. Naturally I'm hurt and heart broken, and I ask them why. I get told PTO is handed out based on seniority, and only so many nurses per shift can be off. I'm a full time night shift nurse. During my week I wanted, there are 5 day nurses and only 1 other night nurse off, but I get told they are full for vacation that week. When I point out the numbers, I get told I'm being difficult to coach. I was told that I should have picked a date at a less busy time for our unit. I was told that if I want my wedding off I need to find someone willing to cover my shifts for me.
I'm heartbroken and enraged and I can feel my emotions eating away at me. I love being a nurse, I've been in the field since 2010, but I hate coming to work any more. Especially now.
My unit is a busy medical unit in a small magnet hospital in a rural state. I will have been on this floor for 2 years in July, and plan to have finished up my BSN by the end of this year. I'm thinking of bailing after the wedding and going to another floor, perhaps float pool where I imagine its a much more flexible schedule.
What do you guys think? How would you handle this?
Specializes in Pediatrics, Community Health, School Health.
How much of the wedding have you actually planned? Did you just finalize the date? If so, I would scratch that and pick another date What about September? A great (and very popular) time to get married these days. Weather not as hot, but still dry, most people are around...we had to change our date twice, not because of work conflicts but because the venue we wanted was booked the first date we picked, and the photographer we wanted was booked the second date. I would check availability of venue and vendors first and see what they even have available.
I was in a similar situation, but had very little time off because was new. I scheduled my working days so I could have a long weekend free for the wedding and weekend local honeymoon. This gave us time to save up and plan a bigger anniversary trip.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
How about you ask for just a few days to get married and plan a big, fun honeymoon at a later date? You could save up and plan for a really nice trip that way!
Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.
How about you ask for just a few days to get married and plan a big, fun honeymoon at a later date? You could save up and plan for a really nice trip that way!
I second this suggestion. Try to get coverage for the actual wedding day and just before and after. The rest you can figure out more on par with your work policy and requirements.
If you don't want this job anymore and can afford to leave, bail. Of course, do so in a professional way and give proper notice. That being said, this is pretty much a nursing job issue. Always think of your work policy on PTO before scheduling anything.
Why don't you try to work with managemt on when a good time would be, then work around that?
Personally, I think both sides are unreasonable. To me, this doesn't sound like a team unit. The response you given was not very helpful, nor are your expectations. I was able to work out 10 days off of work by only taking two PTO days. But, I also worked with management on that.
Work it out or leave the unit. If you like the unit, I would work it out. Your wedding is important and most employers should see that and be willing to work with you.
Since you work 3 days ask your manager if you can work the first 3 days of the week preceding your wedding and work the last three days in the week after your wedding. Take what is called a " mini-moon" right after the wedding and plan the bigger honeymoon at a time when you know you can be off.
I agree that letting 5 people be off on days and one on nights seems very unfair. It is tough in nursing to plan big events. I would first of all plan my wedding for my weekend off assuming you work every other weekend.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
If I were you, I would strongly consider taking a personal leave of absence during the month of July. This is a way to ensure you have all the time off you need.
The major downsides are the unpaid time off and the possibility that you might end up on a different unit or floor when you do return to work.
Your story is a version of so many I've heard. And it basically comes down to this, working in the hospital has many negatives. Near the top of that negative list is that as an inpatient nurse you will always have someone else control your leave time (and schedule for that matter). And despite the stupidity of having to request leave 6 MONTHS IN ADVANCE, it is all said to be 'fair' and based on 'seniority.' But when it comes down to it, it is just that hospitals don't have enough staffing to cover leave adequately so they micro-manage it. Such practices are one of many that made me say bye bye to hospital work. Just keep your wedding date, you'll be able to figure it out when the time comes.
If I were you, I would strongly consider taking a personal leave of absence during the month of July. This is a way to ensure you have all the time off you need.
The major downsides are the unpaid time off and the possibility that you might end up on a different unit or floor when you do return to work.
A lot of facilities won't allow this, including the one I work at.
You are smart to be exploring other career options after what you have experienced. Your job needs to be supportive of you both as an employee and as a person. It is insensitive for them to ignore the fact that you are planning the happiest day of your life and emphasis the need for the schedule over your happiness.
If I were in your shoes, I would complete my BSN and find a more supportive environment to work in because that particular management chain is likely to behave similarly in the future.
Also, I would come up with a cover story about my future need for leave. Managers love to make value judgments about who does and does not deserve leave. It is really not their place to put a value on your leave request. For future reference, I would have a made up story about why you need leave so that they will approve the leave without question.
I got married years ago and my employer still does not know. I keep it private because I know that my joy is not their joy.
MHDNURSE
701 Posts
How much of the wedding have you actually planned? Did you just finalize the date? If so, I would scratch that and pick another date What about September? A great (and very popular) time to get married these days. Weather not as hot, but still dry, most people are around...we had to change our date twice, not because of work conflicts but because the venue we wanted was booked the first date we picked, and the photographer we wanted was booked the second date. I would check availability of venue and vendors first and see what they even have available.