Career Crossroads

Southpawdown · Mar 31, 2019

Go for the 5 days a week position! Better to try it & have to adjust down the road then to end up with regrets. Your husband sounds supportive, your child will be happy regardless w/2 loving parents. The PRN job, no matter how terrific the coworkers are, bores you & in time that alone will be an issue. There is nothing wrong with being a parent but also wanting something besides that. It seems many times, women especially, think they have to be a mother OR a professional, for some reason there can't be both. If you have/need/want to work then you need to make sure it's something you want to do since at the end of the day you are the one having to get up & go do it. If you take a job that is convenient but overall not innately what you want, you will end up unhappy, regretful & that WILL spill over into your personal life. You can make your career AND family both priorities. I recently left a position after a year that many people would think was a dream job but it was very, very boring & like the prn position you described, there was no room for advancement or really anything else. I kept thinking it would change but over time the position started taking a toll on me because of how utterly repetitive & boring it was & I had to admit to myself it would always be that kind of job. I ended up accepting a position for less money but that is more along the lines of what I want to do. I am around others & have more to do & in the short time it's been I am overall happier. You can always find another job if the 5 day/week ends up not being what you want but you will probably find being at a job that makes you professionally happier will also make your personally life more satisfying too & a lot of people with children prefer the 5 days due to weekends/holidays/evenings off. Good luck!

araew2129, ADN · Mar 31, 2019

For me it would depend on my priorities AT THIS POINT. If you feel it is important to prioritize spending loads more time with your kiddo while small, keep the prn job. If your priority at this point is to work on advancing your career, take the 5 day per week job. My take is that if you plan to keep the prn job for the next couple years as a way to have time with your kiddo, then it doesn't matter that it is a dead end job... there will be other career advancing jobs available in a couple years. I think I would still feel some level of satisfaction in knowing that I am PLANNING to put my career on the back burner for now, not that I am "stuck." But if you do feel stuck and want to work on career goals, there is nothing wrong with that and it sounds like you've got the support in place to give it a go!

40isthenew30 · Mar 31, 2019

I’d take the PRN. I’d much rather do 3 days a week. Small kids get sick often, have extracurricular activities they need to get to, and still enjoy being with you and spending time with you. I miss that stage. Enjoy the time it passes so quickly. Prn is great. Pick up extra when you need to make more and have control over your time off. Five days a week is a very difficult transition if you aren’t used to it. You’ll have plenty of time to work 5 days when your children are bigger and more self sufficient.

Jedrnurse, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2019

If the part time job is in nursing, it's not truly a dead-end or career suicide. You can always jump back into another specialty later. It's much worse to have extended periods of not working at all.

TAKOO01, BSN · Mar 31, 2019

13 hours ago, beeker said:
I could make great money and only work 3 days a week, lots of family time. My child is small, he is a miracle after infertility treatment.

13 hours ago, beeker said:
They are only small once and I don't want to miss everything
A lot of moms work 5 days a week, but one of the perks of nursing is not having to do that

Hi beeker,

Nurse and mommy of young ones here. I know what its like to struggle with this decision.

You are saying so much in the sentences i quoted. The prn sounds like the best thing for you. Thats what i would go for. I just started a 9 to 5, and i miss my baby. When your baby is older, you can find another 9 to 5 gig.

Just to kinda help you make the best decision for YOU (we all know which one i would pick?), i have two questions: Do you need the extra income/ health insurance that the 9 to 5 would provide? If the answer is yes, you have no choice.

Could you come back to the prn easily should the 9 to 5 gig fall apart? If the answer is yes, you can try the 9 to 5 with the knowledge that you can run back to the prn should you miss baby too much.

Good luck with your decision.

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Mar 31, 2019

If you will always regret not taking the full-time position, why not just go for it? I totally understand wanting to be with your child and witness his milestones, but you are still raising your son and being a good mom if you choose to pursue a rewarding job opportunity. Kids need to see their parents happy and being fulfilled, as much as they need your presence.

I think if I were you, I would try the full-time job for at least a few months and see how the balance is after the newness wears off. I would walk away if I was truly struggling to balance everything and not able to be the nurse or parent I expect of myself. Again, because you said you would always regret not trying it, it makes sense to give it a shot now, especially if it's an opportunity that doesn't come up often.

I don't think you can make a wrong choice here, though. Like a previous poster said, it's all about identifying your priorities, and those are entirely up to you. Good luck!

sandy144 · Apr 1, 2019

Babies get sick a LOT. You don't want to make a bad impression at this dream job and get yourself fired because you're calling out all the time. People understand taking a prn job when your kids are young. It wont be a huge hindrance to your future career. You have the rest of your life to work.

Trauma Columnist · Apr 1, 2019

Agree with many of the above comments: you have to decide your priorities:

1. Your baby is little and you don't want to miss anything. At the prn job, you would have flexibility.

2. Your baby is little and won't remember you working 5 days per week. If you have supportive husband and solid child care, then the 5 day per week job is the right choice.

I was active duty when I had my first child and we got 4 weeks off and we had to be back to work. No choice. With my second child (5 years later) I took 2 months off and was happy with that choice. I have always worked full time but my husband and I work very well together when we had job obligations - we have always been very equal parents.

In the end, its what will work best for your family. Best wishes with your decision

LovingLife123 · Apr 1, 2019

I have kids at various stages right now. I work 3 days a week right now. But it’s 3 twelve hour shifts. My older two have extra curriculars I need to attend. My youngest needs me as well. He will be entering extra curriculars in a couple of years. I’m thinking of looking for a school nurse job at that point. I hate missing their things and my youngest is my last. I simply want to cherish this time with my kids.

Believe me, I understand the importance of being your own person and not just a mom, it’s why I have a career at all.

But I will say, the time flies and before you know it, you have a high schooler and are planning for college. The days I am off, my toddler is attached to my hip. It makes me realize how much he misses me when I do work. But my work also saves my sanity with 3 boys!!!

RNperdiem, RN · Apr 1, 2019

I would like to reframe the idea of "dead end". There seems to be an idea that if we are not constantly picking up more responsibility then we lack ambition and that there is something wrong with us.

I like my per diem job because it does place limits. I trade off advancement and benefits for a lot of freedom.

I pick my shifts, work my 12 hours to the fullest, then go home. It has made combining family and work easy for me, and is possible because I have a husband with a good income and health insurance.

Five days a week with a long commute sounds like a lot. Does this job have after work meetings? Run late (some clinics run late almost every day)? You might need to do a little looking at what the hours really are before you decide.

OldDude · Apr 1, 2019

I'm an experienced nurse but not a mom. I'm married to a mom, who is my sweet petunia, and the mom of my 4 biological boys and an adopted girl so I hope that qualifies me to offer advice.

Your little dude truly is a miracle and only on loan to you from God. Your share of his time on Earth is fleeting and will pass before you can grasp the magnitude of what it means to be a parent. Cherish every moment you can squeeze out of it and then move on with other things. You'll never look back and say, "Damn, I sure wish I had worked more when my child was little."