Help! I am so conflicted. I am at a crossroads and struggling to choose. The age old family versus career. I need an experienced nurse and mom to give me advice.
Would you take the amazing job that you know you will love and will build your resume, but it is 5 days a week with a long commute and will mean missing SO much with your small child?They are not willing to do part time or anything other than 5 days a week.
or take the prn job where you worked at before, no patient care. Super boring, but great coworkers and close to home but its boring and will make it super hard to find a new job in the future. It's a dead end, no room to move up. I could make great money and only work 3 days a week, lots of family time. My child is small, he is a miracle after infertility treatment.
I would love the 5 day a week job, it's a huge opportunity. If I pass it up I know I will always be a little regretful. But I really want to take the dead end prn position to have more time with my little one . They are only small once and I don't want to miss everything. A lot of moms work 5 days a week, but one of the perks of nursing is not having to do that. My husband is pushing me to take the 5 day a week great opportunity and give it a try. Any words of wisdom?
... the amazing job that you know you will love and will build your resume...
I have applied to no less than 30 but no one will hire he as my floor experience is not recent. 2015. For prn they all want recent on the same unit.
11 hours ago, beeker said:
I also have bills to pay. And while it would be nice to sit at home with no job and hope the prn works out, that’s not reality unfortunately. I live in one of the most expensive places in the country so unemployment isn’t an option. So unless that prn becomes an official position before Monday, the choice has been taken away.
Congrats on your new baby, beeker! That's wonderful!
It seems like this decision has been taken out of your hands. Sometimes this is 'karma's' way of pointing us in the right direction.
A choice that pays your bills and keeps your career safe is also good for your family. We can't always plan perfectly for the future and answer all the what-ifs. All we can do is make the best decision at the time with the information that we have.
If this job just doesn't work out for your family, you can quit later, and it wouldn't be the end of the world. No, it's not ideal, but it's not career suicide. People will understand and empathize with your situation.
Have peace with whichever decision you make, knowing that you are doing what's best for your family! Things will work out.
I was a SAHM until my oldest was 5, youngest was 3, then I went back to school to be a nurse and was gone a ton. hindsight, I do wonder how that affected them, but on the other hand, my kids are super proud of me and what I do and brag to their friends. I think having a female role model working can be important too.
Yes, they are only little once, but many things are time limited and it's not like you are giving them up for adoption. I think there's also a tendency to romanticize about staying at home that... I don't know, could be true for some but wasn't for me. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't the end all be all. Part of that could be that as a mother, I think my strongest ages are 3-5 and under. I definitely struggle more as they got older, sometimes because I wasn't getting mentally stimulated like I needed to be.
No matter what, if you love your kids, they'll be fine.
I suspect more fantastic job opportunities will arise again--this won't be the only time. Life is short and you aboslutley never know. Don't have regrets with loved ones. You can never get your time back. I would do PRN. Your miracle baby will be old soon enough.
Specializes in Surgical Specialty Clinic - Ambulatory Care.
As someone who is childless and so wishes I weren’t; I would suggest the job that allows you to take more time with your kid. But no one says you can’t keep looking for something that allows you both flexibility and a career bump just because you take the more boring job at this time.
It sounds like you may not have many options after all. We do what we have to do, and it almost always works out.
The PRN job would have been easier on you and your family (assuming hubby was okay with it), but if you have to work 5 days a week it's not the end of the world.
That plus a long commute will be harder for you, so do have a sit-down with your husband about things such as picking up and staying home with a sick child, housework, etc. You can't be two places at one time, and sometimes husbands don't seem to understand that. Do you have a back-up plan such as an alternate caregiver if your child has a minor illness, or are you and your husband the only ones available?
Children know when their parents love them. The 5/wk job will be harder on you than on your son. Children adjust and accept things as being "normal." Please, no guilt trip. There are many, many happy and healthy adults whose mom had to work five days a week all their lives. Except for a few years, I'm one and so are my three children.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Ordinarily I'd say go for the 5-day-a-week job, but it's only been in recent years that I've learned how much I missed when my kids were growing up because I was always working. They're all long grown and gone, and they've been telling me about things I never knew at the time that I should have. Now that I'm retired, I regret spending so much time climbing the career ladder because I can't ever get that time back. So my advice to you, OP, is to stick with that boring PRN job. Nursing is dynamic, there are so many opportunities out there and you'll find them when the time is right. In the meantime, enjoy that little miracle, he'll only be a baby once.
Something will pan out. The 5 day a week job sucks. The prn still hasn't been posted, still in process.
thoughtful21, BSN, RN
129 Posts
Congrats on your new baby, beeker! That's wonderful!
It seems like this decision has been taken out of your hands. Sometimes this is 'karma's' way of pointing us in the right direction.
A choice that pays your bills and keeps your career safe is also good for your family. We can't always plan perfectly for the future and answer all the what-ifs. All we can do is make the best decision at the time with the information that we have.
If this job just doesn't work out for your family, you can quit later, and it wouldn't be the end of the world. No, it's not ideal, but it's not career suicide. People will understand and empathize with your situation.
Have peace with whichever decision you make, knowing that you are doing what's best for your family! Things will work out.
I wish you and your family the best!