Why is it "legal" for patient to decline male nurses?

emmjayy, BSN, RN · Mar 1, 2019

Your logic is backwards. It would be wrong if YOU were the patient and your nurse refused to help you to the bathroom because of your sex, race, religion, etc. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a patient refusing service FROM YOU. If I am in the hospital and a student asks if they can insert a Foley - it is my right to refuse. A doctor can ask if they can insert a central line or perform CPR on me if my heart stops - it is my RIGHT to refuse. No matter what my reasoning is! Someone earlier made a great point about how when patients are in the hospital, so much control is taken away from them. It is really important to be sensitive to that fact. They are lying in bed having their sleep interrupted by things that we see as innocuous, such as taking vitals. They get their blood drawn whenever is convenient for the phlebotomist. They can't get up to toilet themselves when they want to, they can't take a shower. They have a never ending rotation of people tramping into the room asking questions, examining, giving pills, inserting IV's, doing procedures, etc. They are SICK and in pain. They oftentimes have a roommate who could be demented, going through alcohol withdrawal, or have any number of other unpleasant things going on. They are worrying about how much this is costing, when they will be allowed to go home, who is taking care of their cat or family member or whatever responsibilities they have. It is so important to just have a bit of empathy for that and not take things like the request you are riled up about personally.

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Mar 1, 2019

This is not an inappropriate request. I had a male patient that would only allow for a male staff member to perform any personal care, etc. Accomodations were made and we were really short on our availability of male staff to begin with. If the patient is uncomfortable then why not? Please remember that many of our older patients grew up in a society where this is the norm for them and 2019 or not, they were raised in a much different setting. To tell them if they don’t like it or leave-no.

When I first started nursing many years ago I had a patient same age as I was-20-he wanted an older nurse to insert his catheter as it would be less embarrassing to him emotionally. To me he’s just another patient but to him it made a difference. I got him what he wanted and that was it. No big deal.

bsyrn, ASN, RN · Mar 1, 2019

It is about your patient and their right to feel comfortable with their care. Honestly, I truly hope you change your attitude before you actually become a nurse.

rnhopeful82, ASN, RN · Mar 1, 2019

Last semester I was in the ER for a day and the nurse had to give a female a foley. The nurse asked if a student could observe and the patient said no. Don't blame her, I wouldn't want anyone in the room that didn't need to be during a procedure like that. One of my classmates was inserting a foley into a male and he allowed the whole class to observe. It really depends on the patient. We just finished up our OB rotation and there was a male in our group. Sometimes, we would come in and hear that a patient refused a male or that a patient refused a student altogether. None of us ever batted an eye.

Personally, if I was a patient, I wouldn't mind if a student, male or female, was assigned to me under the supervision of a nurse. I don't care who passes me some meds, though I may be embarrassed to have a younger male help me when I go to the bathroom. Though, honestly, I would likely be embarrassed even if my own mother was helping me!

I allowed a medical student to do my pap smear one year. I said sure, why not, she has to learn. She destroyed my insides, scraped for what seemed like hours, left me bleeding and then it turns out she did it wrong, there were no cells to see and I had to go back! After that, I am a hard no for a student of any kind doing any more invasive procedures on me. And that's coming from a student nurse. It's likely not about YOU as a person, but you as a male, or a student, or whatever. Just accept it and move on. That being said, I would say from hearing your complaints, gripes and issues on each of your posts, I likely wouldn't want you as my nurse ever. Unless you are a REALLY good actor and no one can see/tell/feel your issues.

TxRn408 · Mar 1, 2019

It's preference. They prefer to not have a male nurse.

nothing against you

nothing against men.

some people like chicken. some people like fish.

No biggie. Don't waste time feeling any particular way. Acknowledge their request and move on

mx25 · Mar 1, 2019

As someone who is also a male nursing student I can understand where you are coming from. And although no one has yet brought it up really: Yeah, there are times where males are actively discriminated against in certain ways in the nursing field. However you have to look at straight up gender discrimination and patient comfort as two different situations.

In my experience the areas in nursing/care where I was actually refused care from to a noticeable degree due to my gender were as a NAC at an assisted living community and during my OB clinicals. In the former there were several women who just felt it was inappropriate to receive care from a male. In the second area it was due to religious/cultural reasons. Even then though there were plenty of women in both experiences who were more than happy to accept care from males. I know that at the time it did feel a bit discouraging to have care refused due to my gender. Even if people are telling you it's "not personal" it's still something that can make someone feel negatively especially if it happens regularly, and like there is a double standard in place. It just comes down to what an individual patient is comfortable with, and accepting that. Making sure a patient is comfortable and experiencing as low stress as possible is a part of delivering patient centered care.

From speaking to others and my own experience the best advice I can impart is: When you enter the room be confident in your demeanor, friendly towards patients and their families, and competent in whatever area of nursing you are currently practicing. The way you carry yourself and interact with others goes a long way with patients. There are times where a female patient might be on the fence about receiving care from you even if they don't vocalize it, but then feel okay with it because you made them feel more comfortable. There is still definitely the possibility that you will be refused, but at least in that scenario you gave it your best shot and were as good of a nurse/nursing student as you could possibly be.

You did bring up discrimination though and as someone who is going to be a nurse you really need to be aware of negative stereotypes and double standards that people hold in society regarding male caregivers and keep not only your patients safe but yourself safe as well. As you've even seen in this thread there are even experienced nurses that hold arguably problematic views regarding males caring for vulnerable populations like children even though both genders are equally capable of perpetrating abuse. So it's really important to not only accept patient refusals of care but also document/chart everything you do accurately and specifically in the event that there are any claims made in the way that you delivered care to a patient. Even if a patient reluctantly accepts care due to your gender maybe consider having another person in the room with you especially during more invasive procedures (i.e. inserting a foley) like an NAC or fellow RN if you think something is potentially sketchy. And if a situation arises where a patient, instructor, or fellow care provider is overtly treating you poorly due to being a male nurse/nursing student (or for whatever reason really) tell your unit manager, charge nurse, HR, program director, or whoever is appropriate.

KeepinitrealCCRN · Mar 1, 2019

In the past 5 years I've had it happen to me maybe 3 times where they want a female nurse all together and then maybe another 3 times when they want a female to provide personal hygiene but everything else I provided for the pt. It rarely happens and should be accommodated if possible. Why not make a pt more comfortable if we can easily accommodate these requests.

DaniannaRN, ASN, BSN · Mar 1, 2019

I've come to the conclusion this guy doesn't want any advice or tips, he just wants everyone to agree with him and stroke his ego. He has answered rudely to everyone and now has no comment at all. Everyone here gave you some great reasons why someone would not want a male nurse.

OP...get over yourself. I'm a female RN and had male patients ask for a male nurse. When I first became a nurse at 24, I had a few patients ask for an older nurse. Was I offended? No. Because it's about the patient, not me.

I personally do not want a man who is not my husband seeing my privates...unless it's an emergency.

So you grow up, get over the idea that everyone must conform to your way of thinking and protect your delicate feelings. The world does not revolve around you. If not, nursing is going to be a very tough road for you and you will not last long. Get out now if your feelings are so delicate that a patient asking for a female bothers you that much that you think the hospital should kick them out. Unbelievable!

DowntheRiver · Mar 1, 2019

3 hours ago, rnhopeful82 said:
I allowed a medical student to do my pap smear one year. I said sure, why not, she has to learn. She destroyed my insides, scraped for what seemed like hours, left me bleeding and then it turns out she did it wrong, there were no cells to see and I had to go back! After that, I am a hard no for a student of any kind doing any more invasive procedures on me. And that's coming from a student nurse. It's likely not about YOU as a person, but you as a male, or a student, or whatever. Just accept it and move on. That being said, I would say from hearing your complaints, gripes and issues on each of your posts, I likely wouldn't want you as my nurse ever. Unless you are a REALLY good actor and no one can see/tell/feel your issues.

I had a student NP put in my IUD. It migrated 3 months later. NEVER again!

Workitinurfava, BSN, RN · Mar 1, 2019

It is all about the patients at the end of the day and just like you deal with the issue, they have to deal with the consequences. You may have the time to help but they will have to wait for a female nurse to help them, since that is what they want.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Mar 2, 2019

Why is it “legal?” It’s a little ethical principle called “autonomy.” A female patient is under no obligation to allow any access to her body that she doesn’t agree to. If you feel butthurt that is YOUR issue — it’s not a patient’s job to alleviate your butthurtedness.

The reverse is true as well. If a modest man doesn’t want me inserting a foley, I wouldn’t dream of coercing him... or saying ugly things about his character. Comparing modesty to bigotry... You need some serious education.

Your assertion that the concept of modesty is an antiquated idea and we must be behind the times? Please. Respect and sensitivity are ESSENTIAL traits. Lack of those traits is a sign of immaturity and ignorance.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Mar 2, 2019

On 2/26/2019 at 8:19 PM, Cowboy96 said:
I don't know if that is the right word I'm looking for. Why is it considered "ok" and acceptable for patients to decline male nurses caring for them or even just for procedures such as putting in a Foley?
Background: I'm a senior nursing student (male) and I've had about 3-4 patients my entire nursing school career who refused to have a male nurse come in. For example, today at clinicals, I had a female patient with an order for a Foley before discharge, and she told my preceptor for me to leave the room. Another example, during my 2nd semester, I experienced 2 different occasions where the patient refused to have any care by a male whatsoever.
I feel like that is literally like a White couple coming into a restaurant and refusing service from a Black/Latino server and requesting a white server.
Why can't the hospital just say, " If you don't want a male nurses, then leave?" I think it's crazy that in the year 2019, no one bats an eye if a patient refuses care by a male nurse, and the automatic response is " Don't worry! As a male nurse you have to get used to it! ? "

How about a black or Latino person not wanting service by a white? Just saying. Anyone, no matter their gender, race, color, ethnicity, religion, nationality, sexual preference or orientation, political views, age, etc., can be racist or discriminatory. There is plenty of hate in this big world and it doesn't all come from whites. And it is not all directed by blacks or Latinos. I know that's not the accepted party line but I believe it is true.

Try to see it from your patient's point of view. I understand your frustration and have no good answer, except that a Pt is bound to be less than enthusiastic about being exposed, despite your need to learn.

Be patient. You will get your turn.