Why is it "legal" for patient to decline male nurses?

[carti, BSN, RN]

I don't know if that is the right word I'm looking for. Why is it considered "ok" and acceptable for patients to decline male nurses caring for them or even just for procedures such as putting in a Foley?

Background: I'm a senior nursing student (male) and I've had about 3-4 patients my entire nursing school career who refused to have a male nurse come in. For example, today at clinicals, I had a female patient with an order for a Foley before discharge, and she told my preceptor for me to leave the room. Another example, during my 2nd semester, I experienced 2 different occasions where the patient refused to have any care by a male whatsoever.

I feel like that is literally like a White couple coming into a restaurant and refusing service from a Black/Latino server and requesting a white server.

Why can't the hospital just say, " If you don't want a male nurses, then leave?" I think it's crazy that in the year 2019, no one bats an eye if a patient refuses care by a male nurse, and the automatic response is " Don't worry! As a male nurse you have to get used to it! ? "

[TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN]

Well, here's a very important thing to remember, you're not a nurse, you're a student. People are going to take more issue with you giving them that care because you're not their nurse or their aide, you're a student. Even just being an aide is an entirely different thing. I've maybe the entire time that I've been an aide had 5 or 6 patients total that refused care because I'm a guy. Most don't care while you're in that professional role, but when you're a student, they care, because we're not nurses.

[Sour Lemon]

3 hours ago, Cowboy96 said:

I don't know if that is the right word I'm looking for. Why is it considered "ok" and acceptable for patients to decline male nurses caring for them or even just for procedures such as putting in a Foley?

Background: I'm a senior nursing student (male) and I've had about 3-4 patients my entire nursing school career who refused to have a male nurse come in. For example, today at clinicals, I had a female patient with an order for a Foley before discharge, and she told my preceptor for me to leave the room. Another example, during my 2nd semester, I experienced 2 different occasions where the patient refused to have any care by a male whatsoever.

I feel like that is literally like a White couple coming into a restaurant and refusing service from a Black/Latino server and requesting a white server.

Why can't the hospital just say, " If you don't want a male nurses, then leave?" I think it's crazy that in the year 2019, no one bats an eye if a patient refuses care by a male nurse, and the automatic response is " Don't worry! As a male nurse you have to get used to it! ? "

People do request specific races and ethnicities when being cared for in a hospital, and they are usually accommodated. As an "unwanted" care-giver, you have to consider the hypersensitivity of the patient and how it might affect their perception of what you're doing.
If someone doesn't want me in their room, I stay out.

[ThatChickOmi, ADN, RN]

While I see your point and can understand why you feel this way, I wouldn't compare any sort of potentially invasive medical care to eating at a restaurant. I mean, you're gonna probably see your patients junk and other sensitive areas which may make them uncomfortable. I think a patient should 100% be able to refuse care from anybody that makes them uncomfortable. I've seen classmates of mine literally get yelled out of patients' rooms. It happens unfortunately. A few weeks ago, it wasn't even the patient, it was his wife, she didn't want any of us in her husbands room. The man was on neutropenic precautions and had a lot going on, but our instructor wanted us to watch a procedure. His wife just didn't want any of it. I get it.

[Davey Do]

16 hours ago, Cowboy96 said:

Why can't the hospital just say, " If you don't want a male nurses, then leave?"

With all due respect, Cowboy, it's not about you. It's all about the patient.

And, to use your philosophy, If you don't want to help the patient feel more comfortable, then don't become a nurse.

Respectfully submitted.

[Dy-no-mite Nurse1, CNA, LPN]

11 hours ago, Cowboy96 said:

I don't know if that is the right word I'm looking for. Why is it considered "ok" and acceptable for patients to decline male nurses caring for them or even just for procedures such as putting in a Foley?

Background: I'm a senior nursing student (male) and I've had about 3-4 patients my entire nursing school career who refused to have a male nurse come in. For example, today at clinicals, I had a female patient with an order for a Foley before discharge, and she told my preceptor for me to leave the room. Another example, during my 2nd semester, I experienced 2 different occasions where the patient refused to have any care by a male whatsoever.

I feel like that is literally like a White couple coming into a restaurant and refusing service from a Black/Latino server and requesting a white server.

Why can't the hospital just say, " If you don't want a male nurses, then leave?" I think it's crazy that in the year 2019, no one bats an eye if a patient refuses care by a male nurse, and the automatic response is " Don't worry! As a male nurse you have to get used to it! ? "

It is unfortunate this happens quite frequently in nursing involving males. I can't tell you how many times in my career patient's have declined a male nurse or aide to care for them and the facility accommodated their request. this is something you will have to accept and get used to.

[Emergent, RN]

Last time I checked, 1/4 of women have been victims of sexual abuse and rape. Maybe it's more, I'm not certain. 99.9% of those abusers were men I'm sure. Those women probably have residual psychological scars I'm sure.

Also, modesty plays a part. I know I would definitely request a woman.

There are differences between men and women. Women feel more vulnerable sexually, generally. Men are, in general, the more aggressive gender, and we all know more visually aroused.

It's not about you and your rights btw.

[verene, MSN]

It's not just male RNs. As a female - I've had male patients decline personal care from me and request a male aid/RN to assist. I think the request for male staff by men is less common in part because men recognize that there are so few male staff it may not be accommodated, and because they tend to be less comfortable speaking up and expressing discomfort with a female caregiver then women are speaking up about male care-giving staff.

Ultimately we are trying to make our patients comfortable - if they have a request that can be accommodated, we try to meet it. Sometimes this is not possible (e.g. a male patient requesting a male nurse on a unit that has all female staff), sometimes it is (a female patient requesting a female aid on a floor that is almost all female).

[carti, BSN, RN]

1 hour ago, Emergent said:

Last time I checked, 1/4 of women have been victims of sexual abuse and rape. Maybe it's more, I'm not certain. 99.9% of those abusers were men I'm sure. Those women probably have residual psychological scars I'm sure.

Also, modesty plays a part. I know I would definitely request a woman.

There are differences between men and women. Women feel more vulnerable sexually, generally. Men are, in general, the more aggressive gender, and we all know more visually aroused.

It's not about you and your rights btw.

This makes NO sense. SO if a patient was robbed by 3 Latino's at a parking lot outside of Walmart 3 years ago, they have the right to decline any care by a Latinx nurse? This makes no sense, and you logic is flawed.

You can give the same example for any race or ethnicity. NOT all Men/Race/Ethnicity/ Whatever are the same. Grow up.

[carti, BSN, RN]

14 hours ago, tonyl1234 said:

Well, here's a very important thing to remember, you're not a nurse, you're a student. People are going to take more issue with you giving them that care because you're not their nurse or their aide, you're a student. Even just being an aide is an entirely different thing. I've maybe the entire time that I've been an aide had 5 or 6 patients total that refused care because I'm a guy. Most don't care while you're in that professional role, but when you're a student, they care, because we're not nurses.

The problem is, my preceptor told me as a future Male nurse, you are going to get used to patients refusing care by men.

This is such a 1930's way of thinking; they said the same thing to black people playing baseball for crying out loud. I can't believe people still have this way of thinking and think it's ok.

[Emergent, RN]

11 minutes ago, Cowboy96 said:

This makes NO sense. SO if a patient was robbed by 3 Latino's at a parking lot outside of Walmart 3 years ago, they have the right to decline any care by a Latinx nurse? This makes no sense, and you logic is flawed.

You can give the same example for any race or ethnicity. NOT all Men/Race/Ethnicity/ Whatever are the same. Grow up.

I am grown up. I am mature enough to avoid saying "grow up!" to someone with whom I disagree on a message board.

How old are you, young man?

[Wuzzie]

6 minutes ago, Cowboy96 said:

This makes NO sense. SO if a patient was robbed by 3 Latino's at a parking lot outside of Walmart 3 years ago, they have the right to decline any care by a Latinx nurse? This makes no sense, and you logic is flawed.

Yes they can and unless you've been sexually assaulted/abused you really aren't qualified to challenge the logic. Again, when it comes to these kind of issues, whether you like it or not it, we defer to the patient because it's not about us.