This is a continuation of another thread that got comical (and as per requested by mama_d)...what would you like to chart if you can get away with it?
Here are some of mine; "Idiot resident placed in ridiculous order that would kill patient. Decided that I love my license better than this and decided not to do it, but will if he gives me HIS arm rather than the patient's. Collaborated with DON, Nsg. Supervisor and got a good laugh" signed...LPN who will keep her license at all costs:typing:nurse:
Or: "Patient requested for nursing staff to go to McDonald's for the Big Mac special to relieve his distress (this actually happened, folks). Informed that errand running off the grounds is not within scope of practice or hospital policy.
I actually wrote that I was thinking today. I'll paraphrase to avoid a TOS violation.
I'm listening to a voicemail regarding a documentation software problem we encountered on Friday. I always jot down notes as I listen and after I jotted her name I remember her saying "There IS a problem...."
I glanced at my pad later and cracked myself up. Next to her name I had written, "No poop."
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
this thread should come with a beverage alert, because i just snorted coffee all over my screen!
count me among those who love charting direct quotes! we type our nurse's notes (computerized charting) and those words are so clear when you don't have to try to read my exhausted handwriting to figure out what i'm writing!
this thread should come with a beverage alert, because i just snorted coffee all over my screen!
count me among those who love charting direct quotes! we type our nurse's notes (computerized charting) and those words are so clear when you don't have to try to read my exhausted handwriting to figure out what i'm writing!
after reading this tread you all are giving me some ideas the next time i have a difficult pt.
I would love to be able to chart exactly what the docs say sometimes, like when told about a pt's 390 blood sugar and no insulin order, doctor shrugged shoulders , replied I'm getting off work, deal with it !
When docs say things like that to me, I do chart it. Word for word, with quotes.
I have actually charted a lot of things that are very similar to some of what is written here.
I have found that one of the best ways to discredit a patient is by putting their direct quotes right into my nursing notes.
That Works if you remember the quote marks. I remember reading someones charting.
Resident used call light x3 within minuets d/t anxiety. Gave prn ativan all old ladies should be lined up and shot. Gave TLC and is now resting comfortably.
the nurse that charted this forgot to put in the quote marks. My jaw dropped when I read this "all old ladies should be lined up and shot" should have been in quotes. She did correct this.... I laughed until the tears ran when we showed it to her.
"MD was called regarding clarification of medications. MD began cursing and yelling at nurse, "How dare you call and wake me up?! Could this have not waited until morning!" This nurse reminded the MD that he was the MD of record and encouraged the MD to change specialties to dermatology or perhaps podiatriaty if he did not wish to be wakened at 9 pm for a valid patient need. MD threatened to have this nurse fired. This nurse muted cell phone and laughed so hard that the phone dropped and the call became disconnected. Informed Administrator and Charge Nurse of this. Proceeded to patient's room where patient was advised to select a doctor who actually cared about his patients, preferably one who returned phone calls in less than three hours."
patient (frequent flier) stated "this is the worse hospital i have ever been, you can't even get the phone number for the pizza place". patient was encouraged to sign ama and go to the so call good hospitals where she can order pizza at 2am. will follow up to make sure patient sign the ama.
Pt on water restrictions, and asking for water. Writer explained that he may not have water due to MD orders. Writer explained this in 10 minutes too many times to count. Pt offered gatorade, pt threw up gatorade. Pt given compazine per order.
Pt acting like a jackass trying to get oob, he disconnected his art line and bled all over the floor. RN did ask pt if he was trying to kill himeslf, and pt replied "Don't go getting all white on me." (this is the running joke on the unit right now)
Dumb resident came in at 0500 for pre rounds. He caved and let the pt have ice chips and now writer will never hear the end of the pt asking for something he shouldn't be having, but a dumb resident didn't back writer up and now writer wants ativan and a stiff drink after the night she had. Writer perscribed herself 1mg ativan IVP, and will be too sedated to care.
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SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN
10,263 Posts
I actually wrote that I was thinking today. I'll paraphrase to avoid a TOS violation.
I'm listening to a voicemail regarding a documentation software problem we encountered on Friday. I always jot down notes as I listen and after I jotted her name I remember her saying "There IS a problem...."
I glanced at my pad later and cracked myself up. Next to her name I had written, "No poop."