This is a continuation of another thread that got comical (and as per requested by mama_d)...what would you like to chart if you can get away with it?
Here are some of mine; "Idiot resident placed in ridiculous order that would kill patient. Decided that I love my license better than this and decided not to do it, but will if he gives me HIS arm rather than the patient's. Collaborated with DON, Nsg. Supervisor and got a good laugh" signed...LPN who will keep her license at all costs:typing:nurse:
Or: "Patient requested for nursing staff to go to McDonald's for the Big Mac special to relieve his distress (this actually happened, folks). Informed that errand running off the grounds is not within scope of practice or hospital policy.
I recently had the fun of charting direct quotes from a patient.....the jist of was how "this a scam as we were trying to get all of his medicaid money - I am going to sue all of you stupid ******* for trying to make me have all of these tests."
I had already explained to the gentlemen with the troponin of 98, that we would not do any test he did not want and he should direct his questions regarding those to the MD in the am before they were started. When he said, "NO, I am leaving right now *****," I explained why he should stay (which he did not appreciate) and then I got him the AMA form. Then he decided he was going to stay after all.
I charted all inappropriate comments all night. It was definitely a cleansing experience charting it all....
Informed pt that 3 yrs s/p gallbladder surgery would not give 10/10 pain scale and require morphine every 2 hrs. Also educated pt that staring at the clock and pacing around the nurses station like a horse at the starting gate might make us think he is seeking narcotics. Pt. became compliant when this nurse told him if he wanted a 10/10, I'd come in there and give it to him. Pt. resting quietly for rest of shift.
Behavior: Pt verbally abusive to this writer, calling this writer a "*****". Pt then attempted to strike this writer with closed fist x2
Intervention: Pt hauled off to the Quiet Room by both ears and given extremely painful shot by merciless RN
Response: Pt told present staff to "go to hell"
Plan: Will have pt meet us there and will have pt bring the ice water and fan
aaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaa!!!
had a demanding family member demanding a bath for his mother last night 10 minutes before supper trays come out. what i would have liked to say was "people in hell want ice water too!"
"Called dumb*** supposed MD to address issues via phone which he has insisted on refusing to address despite patient being in hospital for two weeks. All I want is a freaking home med clarification. I even called the pharmacy for him since he's incapable of using a phone. Seriously, how did he pass his boards? I've seen two year olds with more common sense. Anyway, I digress...after eighteen calls to said MD, he finally called back. Despite the throbbing bass in the background indicating that he is getting his groove on, he states he's too busy to deal with this nonsense now. New order written: MD too busy to address medication issues due to manhood issues."
"The line might be busy because we'll all be paging for Him."
Then you call on angels:saint:..
Code Blue called for pulseless VTach. Pt successfully resuscitated with DC shock and pt's wife in room on chair summoning the angels. Wife convinced angelic intervention necessary due to failure of first shock. Angel recognized that sync had not been turned off and notified code team of same.
Pediatric pt (16 year old) with mom with drug/alcohol abuse:
"Pt's mother went out for cigarette as pt was being prepared for transfer. Mother came back into hospital two hours later smelling strongly of alcohol and sluring her speech. Mother demanded to be able to call attending physician at home at 8:00pm. Called attending and allowed mother to speak with doctor in order to allow doctor to get a glimpse at mother's true personality. Mother then proceeded to scream at attending for several minutes for not doing enough for her son. When son was ready for transfer, mother suddenly remembered she need to go home and clean her house. Pt stated this behavior is out of the ordinary for mom. Pt was conseled on difference between "normal" and "abnormal" behavior. Pt was also encouraged to call a more responsible relative that might actually care about pt's well being more than getting drunk and acting like an idiot. Will continue to monitor."
"Pt with PCA rang out complaining of pain. Looked at pt's PCA records and saw pt had pushed button once in last four hrs. Instructed pt on how to properly push the button using the down motion with thumb. Pt was not receptive to education and asked doctor to be paged. When doctor arrived, refused to order any more pain meds, and encouraged pt to press button and stop acting like a spoiled brat. Will continue to monitor."
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JennRN65
75 Posts
Wonderful thread!!!
I recently had the fun of charting direct quotes from a patient.....the jist of was how "this a scam as we were trying to get all of his medicaid money - I am going to sue all of you stupid ******* for trying to make me have all of these tests."
I had already explained to the gentlemen with the troponin of 98, that we would not do any test he did not want and he should direct his questions regarding those to the MD in the am before they were started. When he said, "NO, I am leaving right now *****," I explained why he should stay (which he did not appreciate) and then I got him the AMA form. Then he decided he was going to stay after all.
I charted all inappropriate comments all night. It was definitely a cleansing experience charting it all....