This is a continuation of another thread that got comical (and as per requested by mama_d)...what would you like to chart if you can get away with it?
Here are some of mine; "Idiot resident placed in ridiculous order that would kill patient. Decided that I love my license better than this and decided not to do it, but will if he gives me HIS arm rather than the patient's. Collaborated with DON, Nsg. Supervisor and got a good laugh" signed...LPN who will keep her license at all costs:typing:nurse:
Or: "Patient requested for nursing staff to go to McDonald's for the Big Mac special to relieve his distress (this actually happened, folks). Informed that errand running off the grounds is not within scope of practice or hospital policy.
Nurse met with DPOA and primary care giver daughter to sign Hospice consents. She has been caring for elderly mother>15 years and is aware of terminal diagnosis and just wants comfort care. Other daughter, who PCG reports hasn't seen mother in 20 years is in hallway wailing over mom's imminent demise. Doesn't understand how sister can let "these people" kill mom. 911 called to take crazy A** sister to local mental health facility for eval.
Pt. c/o headache 10/10. Pt. with eyes closed, resps easy. MD beeped as writer with no pain meds ordered, will monitor.
15 min later:...
Pt. continues to c/o HA, PERLA, remains A&O, VSS. Resting with eyes closed, resps easy between complaints. MD beeped.
15 min later...
Pt continues to c/o of HA 10/10. MD still to &%$@ing lazy to respond to beeps, cool compress given to patient for forehead. Explained to pt that MD is a lazy %@er and we're not likely to hear from him this century - so if patient has any pain meds from home, feel free to use them!!
RESPONSE: Pt thoroughly annoyed the living crap out of his peers with his looooooong monotone droning on and on and on and on about stupid stuff no one really cares about. Pt talking just to hear the sound of his own voice. This writer has no clue what the pt's goals are for today nor what the heck pt was going on and on about, nor does she care.
PLAN: This writer will wash the drool off of her clipboard and notes. Will thank another pt for waking up this writer before the Big Boss caught her sleeping. Will not ask this pt ANYTHING ever again and will purposely avoid pt from here on out.
Pt. asked for nurse to hold his member while he was urinating. Pt. was told he could do it himself, and if he had trouble holding it, nurse could locate a pair of tweezers for him to use.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
pt. asked for nurse to hold his member while he was urinating. pt. was told he could do it himself, and if he had trouble holding it, nurse could locate a pair of tweezers for him to use.
beverage alert! i nearly choked trying not to spew!
reminds me of the time i was walking my dogs at a park near seattle. some flasher dude popped out at me from between too parked cars and exposed himself.
"what do you think?" he asked, proudly.
"smallest member i've ever seen on an adult male," i told him without breaking stride.
the name he called me would violate the tos to print here, but i heard that particular park had no more problems with flashers for a long time after that. years, actually!
beverage alert! i nearly choked trying not to spew!
reminds me of the time i was walking my dogs at a park near seattle. some flasher dude popped out at me from between too parked cars and exposed himself.
"what do you think?" he asked, proudly.
"smallest member i've ever seen on an adult male," i told him without breaking stride.
the name he called me would violate the tos to print here, but i heard that particular park had no more problems with flashers for a long time after that. years, actually!
:yeah:i love that one. there is also "could you please wait a minute while i find a magnifying glass?"
ShayRN
1,046 Posts
Nurse met with DPOA and primary care giver daughter to sign Hospice consents. She has been caring for elderly mother>15 years and is aware of terminal diagnosis and just wants comfort care. Other daughter, who PCG reports hasn't seen mother in 20 years is in hallway wailing over mom's imminent demise. Doesn't understand how sister can let "these people" kill mom. 911 called to take crazy A** sister to local mental health facility for eval.