What Would You Like to Chart if You Can Get Away With It?

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This is a continuation of another thread that got comical (and as per requested by mama_d)...what would you like to chart if you can get away with it?

Here are some of mine; "Idiot resident placed in ridiculous order that would kill patient. Decided that I love my license better than this and decided not to do it, but will if he gives me HIS arm rather than the patient's. Collaborated with DON, Nsg. Supervisor and got a good laugh" signed...LPN who will keep her license at all costs:typing:nurse:

Or: "Patient requested for nursing staff to go to McDonald's for the Big Mac special to relieve his distress (this actually happened, folks). Informed that errand running off the grounds is not within scope of practice or hospital policy.

What are yours??

"Resident given IM Ativan because I am sick and tired of her packing her things, being combative, and just being a complete elopement risk to me and my staff. Called daughter and listened to her BS that her mother (the devil's advocate) is no way acting this way. Made aware that mother is acting this way and she should either a) come and take mommy dearest home with her or b) cover my shift and let me go home."

Specializes in ICU.
Patient advised not to shake his jiggly bits at the nurse. Advised if he does it again we will amputate it and not even bother to knock him out before we cut it off.

"Jiggly bits". I am cracking up over here!!!!

Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

Pt admitted for fourth suicide attempt. Pt stable. Pt stated he wishes he could go to sleep and never wake up. Informed pt that pills obviously isn't cutting it, and next time maybe he should try a gun so he can quit wasting all of our time. Pt verbalized understanding, and did not ring out for remainder of shift.

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.
Pt admitted for fourth suicide attempt. Pt stable. Pt stated he wishes he could go to sleep and never wake up. Informed pt that pills obviously isn't cutting it, and next time maybe he should try a gun so he can quit wasting all of our time. Pt verbalized understanding, and did not ring out for remainder of shift.

Not funny :down:

Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.
Not funny :down:

Sorry, I do feel for these pts, but they obviously aren't getting the psych help they need. Either we're just going through the motions or something's wrong.

Sorry, I do feel for these pts, but they obviously aren't getting the psych help they need. Either we're just going through the motions or something's wrong.

Or they're Borderlines who aren't actually trying to die, just seeking attention.

In such a case, the advice above seems very apropos.

pt delusional stating he got high because someone threw some crack at him.

Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice.

Pt admitted with pancreatitis. Denies ETOH and drug abuse. IV started to RFA x 1 attempt. Pt. placed own tourniquet and located vein and promptly requested morphine for pain of 10/10. Pt is lying about something.

Specializes in OR, PACU, GI, med-surg, OB, school nursing.

Father of baby provided with bedside vasectomy by this nurse.

Specializes in NICU.

"MOB at bedside, extensively updated by this RN and MD. MOB requires repeated reinforcement of basic information, and is clearly a person who should not be permitted to take care of a houseplant, let alone a high-needs cardiac child. Advised MOB that her behavior is completely appropriate for a 15yo whose mother is herself 30yo and grandmother 46, but may not be in the best interests of her child. Advised MOB that lying to this RN about why she was one hour late for each of four care times, which she had been informed by the attending MD were a requirement for her infant's discharge to home, when this RN was easily able to verify that she was lying, is not a good idea."

And yes, she took the baby home, and yes, DYFS took him away shortly thereafter.

Our behavior parameter on our assessment flowsheet is the same for all units, adult and pedi. You don't know how many times I've wanted to chart that my 3 day old patient is "hostile".

Specializes in Med/Surg.
Do you read it back to him? That usually causes them to realize how inappropriate they're being.

Orders you have to read back, charting you don't. So I would have to guess no.

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

"Multidisciplinary Team collaboration concludes that patient is a PITA. Patient centered care included going to patient as a group and informed he cannot come back here anymore. Will continue to have security monitor to warn of impending arrival via look out nurse with text messaging service"

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