cherrybreeze

I agree with what JBudd voiced as sound reasoning for asking a spouse to leave during a pelvic exam, but also.....seeing "down there" during the heat of the moment/*making a baby* obviously has a very different feel to it than the clinical setting of a pelvic exam. Many (most?) women have heightened general anxiety during pelvics, and there can be added pressure having a spouse/partner witness the sterility/clinicality (that's not a word, but it sounds good ) of a pelvic in the harsh fluorescent lights of an exam room. Even though he's seen the parts, he's not seen them in that setting or mood. Not all women are comfortable with that. Even if they've been married many years, perhaps they want to keep up a little mystery. :)

Sweet. Thanks for the info. :)

I've missed you guys, too! The site sure has changed, wow....just noticed there isn't a multi-quote feature for replies anymore, bummer (so sorry for not addressing any posts directly, it would take a whole page LOL). What made me the most mad about the lady on TV was the fact that there was nothing I could do about it. When talking to someone face to face, at least you can educate them. In this case, all I could do was watch. And...fume. I do know in my state it's also a legally protected title (and I thought I read in regards to just RN's, even, which didn't make sense to me, because an LPN is a nurse, but I digress). I'll try not to be a stranger. :)

i'm not sure where your statement about using hipaa to cover up substandard care comes from. it sounds like you assume that's the reason that family members are asked to leave. just one of many problems that come up in regards to this topic (family assuming this). as far as whether your husband is under the influence of medication or not...doesn't matter. sorry. if i ask him if he wants you in there, and he says "no," the answer is no, no matter what meds he has received. i'm not going to hear him say no, and think, "well, if he wouldn't have gotten morphine he would've said it was okay, so i am going to let her stay anyway." not gonna happen. for whatever reason, at that moment, he doesn't want you in there, so that's the way it's going to be (i'm not saying your husband has ever said that, i'm using it as an example since you did). honestly, no....having you designated as his poa means nothing. the poa isn't activated, for one thing, so you still have no rights to his info. the act of simply designating you as his poa for the day in the future that he will need one isn't enough to speak to the "trust" he has in you or his "intentions" (thereby including you in every discussion). i am designated as my mom's poa, but that doesn't mean she wants me in the room all the time, especially if the conversation with the nurse or doctor is of a sensitive nature. that's her choice to make at the time the discussion occurs. plenty of married couples designate each other as their poa's. later on, they get divorced. having a copy of the patient's poa on the chart doesn't mean i'm going to see it, think, "the patient designated this person to make decisions for them in the event that they can't, so that means i won't/don't need to ask them to step out for anything." that's a leap, sorry. you asked: "what would i need to do, having supported my husband through major illnesses, to convince you that i know he would want me to be present?" honestly? if at that moment, i ask the patient if he wants you there and he says no....the answer is nothing. there is nothing that you can do or say that will override what the patient says they want at that time. if he is unable to answer due to his physical condition, then yes, i likely will let you stay. if he is able to answer, even if he's had morphine, his answer trumps everything else. in cases of patients with advanced dementia, it's a little trickier, and those situations are evaluated on a case-by-case basis; there are too many variables. receiving pain medication is not the same as having dementia, though. just because they've been medicated doesn't mean they don't know what they want. if later on, he says to you, "i'm sorry i said no, i didn't realize" or some such thing, well....i'm sorry. that's between you two. i have to err on the side of the patient, though. it's the right thing to do. much preferable to him later saying to me (or someone else), "i told the nurse i didn't want my wife in the room while they did x, y, and z, and she let her stay anyway." not a risk i can take. it's not personal. i don't think less of him or you, if he would want privacy for some things. i'm not "judging" your relationship based on that. you could try to get an attorney involved, but it would be a waste of your time and money. there is nothing wrong or unlawful about honoring a patient's wishes, even if those wishes change from one day to the next. i think you'd be hard-pressed to find a judge who would say otherwise. your last statement: "i think that as nurses we should be facilitating that support system whenever possible, while respecting the patient's wishes." exactly. if that patient is your husband and his wish is that you leave the room, i'm going to respect that. i'm not saying that he would ever say that, mind you. i don't know him or you. the same would go for any patient.

There really is no such thing as a "textbook" situation....

Long time no see! I haven't visited here in ages (lots of things going on personally), but when I saw this the other day, I knew I had to share....you folks here will understand it in a way no one else in my life will! It was Thursday afternoon, I was watching Judge Joe Brown in the background as I got ready to go to work. Some lady was suing some dude for money for something (that's what happens when I half-watch something, LOL). Anyway, Judge Joe is asking the plaintiff lady what she does for a living..."you're a bus driver, right?" Lady: "Yes, and I have two jobs, I'm also a NURSE." Joe: "Are you an RN or an LPN...?" Lady: "I'm a medical assistant....REGISTERED." Joe: "So, you're a bus driver and a nurse....(continues to discuss case, talks about how hard it is for her to support herself even without kids, blah blah blah). You guys know where I am going with this. It's been discussed countless times here, I know. This was just a different forum for me to hear it in, and it made me MORE mad because all I could do was watch....and think, "THIS is how the misconceptions happen, dang it!" Anyone watching who doesn't know any better assumes that yes, this lady is a nurse. I'm not saying her job isn't important, or that she doesn't have a role in healthcare. Of course she does. But that role is NOT of a nurse. I know there are posters here that don't get/don't care about other people using the title "nurse," and that's fine. To each their own, no big deal. I'm just one of those people that it DOES bother, and hearing that exchange fired me up a little. The way she had to tack that word on the end...."REGISTERED"....like THAT is what makes the difference here. I realize that some MA's are registered and some are not, yes....it just has nothing to do with being a nurse either way. End rant. :)

The one question that comes to mind for me in the O2 scenario (hooking someone up to O2 who forgot their tank at home) is, what happens when that family leaves the building? If you took it upon yourself to give them O2 while they were in the hospital, how far does your responsibility extend to making sure they have O2 available until they are *reunited* with their tank? If they live a good distance from the hospital, it's a long drive home without portable oxygen. Do you feel the nurse has the obligation to make sure they have O2 in some form until they can get their own, if they start by providing it when they are at the facility? (I honestly don't know what my opinion is on this, which is why I ask.) That sounds like something I would do as well, xt. Phooey to the whole "practicing medicine" argument....if it's something a person can buy OTC, I personally do not believe that it falls under that umbrella. Now, mind you, I don't let that personal belief of mine dictate how I practice nursing....I would not give OTC meds to a patient, for example. But there are nurses out there who say they have gotten in trouble for even giving COWORKERS a Tylenol or Advil. I find this completely ridiculous. I think you're taking the situation too literally. Do you REALLY think these people, the ones that want their BP checked "just out of curiosity" (rather than because they don't feel well) actually go to the ER? They want the nurse to check it because it would be convenient, more so than anything. They aren't going to go through the effort of going to the ER and registering, etc, if they don't feel that they have a reason for their BP to be out of whack. Now, if they are asking because they don't feel well, that's a whole other issue; they are the ones that SHOULD go to the ER, whether the nurse checks the BP or not. On the off-chance that they DO go to the ER for a simple BP check, well....not much we can do about it. The nurse on the floor can't check it just to avoid having them do that. I also don't think that the nurse the patient is asking to check the BP is saying, "go to the ER to have it checked"....I think what is being said is, "if you don't feel well, you should go to the ER to be evaluated." If the person says they feel fine, all I would say is, "I am not allowed to check it" and that's it. I know I would not suggest going to the ER for just a check, and I don't think any reasonable RN would, either.

Pulling out tubes, falling, etc etc....sure. But to jump from smoking to "using their IV to do drugs" is ridiculous. Sorry.

How could he sue the nurse for refusing to check? It is not the nurse's responsibility to provide ANY type of care to a visitor/the general public. The person could have gone to the ER on their own, therefore establishing a relationship with a provider....until then, there's no liability anywhere. Bingo. Exactly. Because they are doing it on their own. Someone can also buy an electronic blood pressure monitor and use it in their home. Then it is ALL on them to decide what to do about the numbers.

Holy cow. How do you make the connection between someone wanting to go out to smoke to THIS??

I understand confusing the two, but I do still wonder which ones you are getting. As previous posters have said, canker sores are not contagious, so it they are cankers, they're not from the sink. Cold sores are caused by herpes simplex, which IS contagious, but once you have the virus, you can get cold sores at any time...it would be random; repeated contact wouldn't cause subsequent cold sores. So, it sounds like there's another issue of some sort at hand, because logically, the sink could cause neither. I can't tell if your post is sarcastic or not here, I'm going benefit of the doubt here and hoping not. I would suggest seeing your PCP or dentist if the mouth sores are that frequent of a concern for you.

I am a little confused by this. How would that many nasty germs, etc, end up on the spout? It doesn't get touched. Not saying that germs/water can't splash, but I have a hard time believing it's that much and that frequent that they're always present and ready to infect you. If you're not setting your toothbrush anywhere on the sink, I have a difficult time making the connection between the brushing at work and the cold sores (or is it canker sores? You mention both, but they are two different things). I also have a hard time believing you are the ONLY nurse that brushes his or her teeth. You mention brushing at work a "few times" while at work, and I assume that you are brushing at least twice at home (in the morning and before bed). Perhaps you are irritating your mouth by brushing too much. I'm not sure if it works the same way that say, too much cleaning in certain personal areas can cause irritation or infection. I don't know if you can adversely affect the normal flora in your mouth by brushing too often, but I certainly would think you can make the area more sensitive from the mechanical action of brushing. I would try laying off the frequency a bit and see what happens. I would be ticked off too, if I saw someone microwaving their toothbrush at work. Especially since you believe that your toothbrush is picking up sore-causing germs. Now you just spread those nasty germs to the microwave, where the heat will cause them to proliferate and where everyone puts their food. Gross; shame on you.

I agree with this, wouldn't you know if there was something that was a red flag on your background checks? There is no way for us here to know why you aren't getting more interviews or a job. Sorry.

Don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say that the OP expected/hoped for answers from people that weren't nurses. ALL I said was that the OP was not a question about nurse/patient ratios. Nothing more, nothing less. *whatever *

Now me, I WOULD have said that.