This is a continuation of another thread that got comical (and as per requested by mama_d)...what would you like to chart if you can get away with it?
Here are some of mine; "Idiot resident placed in ridiculous order that would kill patient. Decided that I love my license better than this and decided not to do it, but will if he gives me HIS arm rather than the patient's. Collaborated with DON, Nsg. Supervisor and got a good laugh" signed...LPN who will keep her license at all costs:typing:nurse:
Or: "Patient requested for nursing staff to go to McDonald's for the Big Mac special to relieve his distress (this actually happened, folks). Informed that errand running off the grounds is not within scope of practice or hospital policy.
Pt arrived to room from ER, post foreign body removal procedure. Oriented to room. Told pt "My name is jlsRN and I'll be your nurse today. I volunteered to take you as a pt because I thought it would be hilarious to take care of someone who thought putting an apple up his rectum was fun." Pt cooperative with care, submitted to inspection of anal area readily, site appears swollen and red, but no signs of active bleeding.
.... When asked what his plan had been for extracting apple after it was placed in his rectum, pt answered "I was drunk at the time and wasn't thinking clearly" Pt enc'd to go to AA to address his alcohol problem.
.... When asked what his plan had been for extracting apple after it was placed in his rectum, pt answered "I was drunk at the time and wasn't thinking clearly" Pt enc'd to go to AA to address his alcohol problem.
Patient advised to grow the eff up. You are 40 years old. Eat the diet prescribed, stay in the damn bed, and count your lucky stars that you didn't kill yourself or someone else when you decided to drive at double the legal limit. Patient's mother also advised that a 40 year old isn't "mommy's little angel" and that's why he's emotionally stunted. Nurse wants hazard pay because family is bat crap crazy.
Specializes in Med Surg, ER, ICU, LTC, DRUG & ETOH.
I would love to be able to chart exactly what the docs say sometimes, like when told about a pt's 390 blood sugar and no insulin order, doctor shrugged shoulders , replied I'm getting off work, deal with it !
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I would love to be able to chart exactly what the docs say sometimes, like when told about a pt's 390 blood sugar and no insulin order, doctor shrugged shoulders , replied I'm getting off work, deal with it !
"Doctor shrugged his shoulders when report of 390 blood sugar reported. I am not a physician...shrugged mine, too. What's a nurse to do?"
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Patient advised to grow the eff up. You are 40 years old. Eat the diet prescribed, stay in the damn bed, and count your lucky stars that you didn't kill yourself or someone else when you decided to drive at double the legal limit. Patient's mother also advised that a 40 year old isn't "mommy's little angel" and that's why he's emotionally stunted. Nurse wants hazard pay because family is bat crap crazy.
Respones are getting better and better...that was hilarious. I want hazard pay, too, if I have to deal with assed-backward dysfunctional families. If you get it, tell me where you work. I'll be applying within the hour.
This is a TRUE nurse's note that a nurse (not me!) wrote on my floor:
"Pt in pain. Rang out requesting a hot pack. Gave pt hot pack. Pt continues to ring out every damn 5 min for another hot pack. Wil continue to monitor."
:eek:
Great one, Leslie! I have literal tears in my eyes!
justme1972
2,441 Posts
Patient at risk for injury/disability/major malpractice suit r/t physian d/t impaired brain function.