This is a continuation of another thread that got comical (and as per requested by mama_d)...what would you like to chart if you can get away with it?
Here are some of mine; "Idiot resident placed in ridiculous order that would kill patient. Decided that I love my license better than this and decided not to do it, but will if he gives me HIS arm rather than the patient's. Collaborated with DON, Nsg. Supervisor and got a good laugh" signed...LPN who will keep her license at all costs:typing:nurse:
Or: "Patient requested for nursing staff to go to McDonald's for the Big Mac special to relieve his distress (this actually happened, folks). Informed that errand running off the grounds is not within scope of practice or hospital policy.
Patient advised not to shake his jiggly bits at the nurse. Advised if he does it again we will amputate it and not even bother to knock him out before we cut it off.
on disorientated pt admitted with alcohol intoxication:
"Pt combative toward doctors and nursing staff. Pt attempted to pull out femoral line and foley. Pt was conseled on the negative effects this would have on health if either of these tubes was removed. Pt then began screaming to leave AMA. Nurse provided pt with AMA forms and encouraged pt to sign. Pt then signed forms as Tina Turner. Pt was educated on her legal name and encouraged to try signing again."
on disorientated pt admitted with alcohol intoxication:
"Pt combative toward doctors and nursing staff. Pt attempted to pull out femoral line and foley. Pt was conseled on the negative effects this would have on health if either of these tubes was removed. Pt then began screaming to leave AMA. Nurse provided pt with AMA forms and encouraged pt to sign. Pt then signed forms as Tina Turner. Pt was educated on her legal name and encouraged to try signing again."
Patient's spouse advised having POA doesn't mean he gets to call the shots when patient is conscious and able to make their own decisions. Patient advised not only could he call the CEO but he could call the President of the United States for all I cared. I'd dial his attorney for him. Nurse called divorce attorney for wife to get the process started of kicking this obnoxious control freak to the curb.
We do computer charting, and under the "Psych" tab, we can select from a pulldown menu things like "anxious", "withdrawn", "demanding". I wanted to free text "Crabby".
I have actually charted a lot of things that are very similar to some of what is written here.
I have found that one of the best ways to discredit a patient is by putting their direct quotes right into my nursing notes.
Absolutely I do direct quotes whenever possible and esepcially like charting the F-word, lol. This thread is hysterical and proves what I've always suspected:
We nurses are a witty, resourceful bunch! I guess if we couldn't laugh we'd be crying.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I LOVE to document direct quotes!! It gives me carte blanche to write down cuss words and inappropriate behavior LEGALLY!! What a turn on!! In fact, the more they say, the more interested I am, because I don't want to miss a word!
Pt. family asking completely unnecessary questions that had been answered during previous shift. Used large complicated medical terminology to answer questions. Pt. family ceased asking questions.
I LOVE to document direct quotes!! It gives me carte blanche to write down cuss words and inappropriate behavior LEGALLY!! What a turn on!! In fact, the more they say, the more interested I am, because I don't want to miss a word!
)
Batman24
1,975 Posts
Patient advised not to shake his jiggly bits at the nurse. Advised if he does it again we will amputate it and not even bother to knock him out before we cut it off.