It seems like the word is verboten 'round these parts.
Yeah, getting your feathers ruffled isn't bullying. Sometimes, when things are described on this board, it's just occasional rudeness by someone who has "been in a very bad mood for 70 years" (to quote Ouizer in Steel Magnolias), but not bullying.
Then, there are situations described in which a person is being the continual target of another, and responders use words like "toxic" and "nasty" and "unnecessarily harsh," but the responder adds, "But that's not bullying."
What is it then? We all say what it's not, but what is it? No textbook definition needs to be made because we've seen those already. Let's just try to define it using real life or made up examples to illustrate it. I'm getting a little confuzzled about the collective opinion on bullying here at AN.
oh, so you "ran" to management? lol. that may work, IF management isn't involved....
Well, no LOL, I've never been the one who ran to management. I've never had to; they have occasionally been involved, but it wasn't on my dime! Like I said, a frank and to-the-point conversation usually set things straight.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Racist!!! Oh please! I'm also the epitome of white, Anglo-Saxon and Protestant. I didn't have time to type it all out and really didn't think anyone would have a problem with it. My bad. And,frankly, she DID have the personality of a wasp, aggressive and wielding a big stinger. Also for the record she was white, Anglo-Saxon and happened to be Protestant ( hmmmm just like me).
Perhaps asking for clarification would be a good thing before responding like you did. I thought I was pretty clear. Why would I make something like this up?
At any rate Ruby, I normally enjoy your posts and usually am right along with you. Not sure why I've raised your ire this time as my viewpoint seems to be in line with yours (not everything is bullying).
But since my original point has been lost in the idea that I'm apparently a racist (snort) I'll just sign off from this thread. Carry on.
People make up examples to illustrate a concept frequently, especially if they are trying to remain anonymous on this forum. No ire; I was simply pointing out that some of your example could have been open to interpretation. Communication between two human beings is frequently open to interpretation, and people don't always interpret things the way I think they will. Tagolog was at the forefront of my brain because I'd just finished getting report from a Filipino who kept referring to our female patient as "he." Since I know about the personal prounoun thing, I just let it go. Or tease him, as he sometimes teases me about being old.
Racist comments are racist comments, even if they're being made against white people. Since I've never met you, I have no idea whether you're white, black, yellow, brown or pink with purple polka dots. If we all know you're a WASP, it's one thing. But as my husband has pointed out, he'd get upset if someone outside his family called him a "kike" or a "spic", both of which he is as his father was a Jewish Pole and his mother a Central American Catholic. And he's upset when his relatives call me a WASP or a "damnYankee", both of which they have. If racism is a bad thing -- and I think it is -- you can't have it both ways. We'd probably be upset at a post in which the writer referred to "******", even if the poster was African American because we just see the words on the screen and not the color of the person writing them.
Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.
I know this is a little off topic, but I have never heard the term WASP (white anglo saxon protestant) be used as a derogatory term, but as a descriptive term rather. Maybe people do use it as a slur, but I've never heard it used as such. More like "white, black, or brown" to describe skin color. I do think this is different than derogatory terms like "spik" or any of the others, the "n" word for example.
Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
Just a thought here, but why is it okay for us to completely spell out the derogatory terms used for Jewish, Hispanic people etc, but we all say "the N word"? If they are all racial slurs, they should be all be treated as such. As for WASP, I didn't know I was so naive, but I literally thought she was referring to the pesky insect lol
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
You are absolutely right about spelling out the "N word". However, I was quoting a Jewish/Hispanic person talking about himself and not an African American using that word. As far as "WASP" goes, I wasn't raised to think of it as a slur but after many interactions with drunken or angry members of DH's extended family, I'll go on record now as saying it can definitely be used in a deragatory fashion!
Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
RubyVee, I wasn't directly referencing your post, just a trend I've noticed in general with the world, as if the N word is the only truly offensive slur.
I honestly didn't even know that WASP meant that, but now that I do, I don't take it to be a racial slur, more of an acronym, but then again I don't know the history behind it.
Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
Sorry guys, a racial slur is a racial slur. Just because it's against white people doesn't excuse it.
WASP isn't necessarily a slur, it is an acronym as has been rightly pointed out. The term has historically been used to criticize the elite members of the group and has been associated with some hostility for certain. All by itself, however, it is pretty tame and has lost a great deal of it's "sting", in my view.
duskyjewel
1,335 Posts
Sorry guys, a racial slur is a racial slur. Just because it's against white people doesn't excuse it.