What is bullying then?

JustBeachyNurse, LPN · Aug 21, 2014

Apparently there is a standard definition relating to the workplace (quoted from the "bully" thread):

lub dub said:

This sounds like just a silly prank.
I believe the word "bullying" is beginning to be overused in the work place. An isolated prank does not rise to the level of bullying, in my opinion.

This is the definition of the term, from the Workplace Bullying Institute:

Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is :

Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or

Work interference-sabotage-which prevents work from getting done, or

Verbal abuse

Source: Definition of Workplace Bullying | Workplace Bullying Institute

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Aug 21, 2014

Personally, I think that because this is a message board, you can't detect tone as appropriate; HOWEVER, there are a few instances that could be called into question, perhaps:

For example; calling out people repeatedly or continuing to lurk and then debating a poster .

Seems like an interpersonal issue; could that be bullying? Maybe not *shrugs*.

There are people that will debate a poster to no end, or post where it's way out of left field and use inflammatory language or continue to debate a poster when a poster has said "agree to disagree", or they post in such a matter that derails the thread because the poster has gotten caught up in a posters "tone" and decides to instead of ask for clarification, jump on the poster for being "mean" or become reactive to a poster or posts, and it shows through the post.

That instance can be easily clarified, but instead a knee-jerk reaction is utilized, and a standoff ensues.

There are people with strong personalities, quirks, people who love to be cheeky, and playful, and because of the "tone" issue, can be misconstrued and then that's where an issue can start.

Sometimes taking a breath before one types on their device of could be a possible solution, if not, it will taken care of, one way or the other.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Aug 21, 2014

Bullying can be subjective. No 2 instances would be the same. If you look at the Joint Commission's idea of bullying, a company policy on bullying, and a nurse's thoughts on bullying, they would all be different.

Behavior unbecoming of a professional person is a pain in the butt, and not something one should have to deal with in a setting which deals with sick people who depend on all of us for care. Especially when we are a captive audience.

If there is any behaviors that are happening that undermines the work of another nurse, it should be dealt with. But more often than not, it is allowed to continue.

I am in the minority that feels that managment needs to take an active role. Others will say that a professional person first discusses the situation with the offending party. I say 2 cats in a bag is never a good thing, especially when one is dealing with an adult who should know better.

It takes all kinds. And some nurses are shy, others quiet, others all business, others abrasive, others loud, others sunshine and moonbeams--those are personality traits and not behavior traits. And we are talking about bullying being a behavior and not a personality. And that is the difference. (and how many of us know of a nurse who carries moonbeams home in a jar, and is very unprofessional--it isn't always the quiet ones...)

Bullying is the new black. I would call it unprofessional behavior that affects a nurse and/or a unit's ability to work as a team, or an individual nurse to provide care.

OCNRN63, RN · Aug 21, 2014

Personally, I think that because this is a message board, you can't detect tone as appropriate; HOWEVER, there are a few instances that could be called into question, perhaps:
For example; calling out people repeatedly or continuing to lurk and then debating a poster .
Seems like an interpersonal issue; could that be bullying? Maybe not *shrugs*.
There are people that will debate a poster to no end, or post where it's way out of left field and use inflammatory language or continue to debate a poster when a poster has said "agree to disagree", or they post in such a matter that derails the thread because the poster has gotten caught up in a posters "tone" and decides to instead of ask for clarification, jump on the poster for being "mean" or become reactive to a poster or posts, and it shows through the post.
That instance can be easily clarified, but instead a knee-jerk reaction is utilized, and a standoff ensues.
There are people with strong personalities, quirks, people who love to be cheeky, and playful, and because of the "tone" issue, can be misconstrued and then that's where an issue can start.
Sometimes taking a breath before one types on their device of could be a possible solution, if not, it will taken care of, one way or the other.

I've recently had someone follow (stalk) me from one post to another, just to try to incite an argument. It takes the enjoyment out of participating here, and it's one of the reasons I've made the conscious decision to stop offering counsel/advice, with the exception of my specialty, where I've never had a problem. I'm not saying this as a sort of , "Goodbye, cruel word!", rather an explanation as to why I'm stepping back for now.

Hopefully, the ill-will that's been circulating here will be a transient issue. This site has the potential to offer much to nurses both old and new, but we all (myself included) need to work together to make it a welcoming place for everyone.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Aug 21, 2014

I've recently had someone follow (stalk) me from one post to another, just to try to incite an argument. It takes the enjoyment out of participating here, and it's one of the reasons I've made the conscious decision to stop offering counsel/advice, with the exception of my specialty, where I've never had a problem. I'm not saying this as a sort of , "Goodbye, cruel word!", rather an explanation as to why I'm stepping back for now.

Hopefully, the ill-will that's been circulating here will be a transient issue. This site has the potential to offer much to nurses both old and new, but we all (myself included) need to work together to make it a welcoming place for everyone.

I've seen it and I almost was in that same position and I confronted it, you were on that same thread and called out that poster as well; I guess for me I'm like "really" and feel it's mild compared to the real crap I've encountered in my life, it's almost hilarious, honestly; but I understand how you feel. :yes:

smileyitnthesunny · Aug 21, 2014

Well, i don't think anyone else is to judge. If the person feels they are being bullied, then they are being bullied.

We treat our patients with more respect, validation, and take their word as truth.

Why can't we do the same for each other?

I think bullying in the work place in nursing is rampant. Mostly in the form of passive aggression and gossiping. If someone feels bullied by such actions than they are bullied. If another person has a thicker skin and or more support systems in place, than they may not feel bullied by the same actions.

JuliaRNMSN · Aug 21, 2014

"Bullying is the new black. I would call it unprofessional behavior that affects a nurse and/or a unit's ability to work as a team, or an individual nurse to provide care."

I think the above comment is the best vantage point we have right now. It would be a milestone if nurses could support each other as a professional group, understand this complex problem, and begin acting to reduce the waste that results.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Aug 21, 2014

I believe it is pretty much what the victim says it is.

dream'n, BSN, RN · Aug 21, 2014

I posted recently about a previous work environment where I felt I was bullied. The bullying has left scars and even today I have difficulty writing about it. I'm not an overly sensitive person, I have 20 years of experience in the nursing field and never felt I was bullied prior or since. I think the worst of it was because I felt trapped. I was the support of my family and with the economy being so horrible, I felt I had no options. Workplace bullying is serious, it is not an isolated event or prank. It is not just that someone may not like you or even gives you the "evil-eye." Honestly the best way to describe it to me is with a quote by Justice Stewart of the Supreme Court (not about workplace bullying, but I think it applies) "I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it"

mclennan, BSN, RN · Aug 21, 2014

Folks. The bottom line is, all the posts from young whiners crying "bullying" and "NETY" are driving away the longtime, valuable and wise old guard who have been mentors here for a long time. Here's what has been happening over and over, EVERYWHERE on this board:

1. Noob cries about how difficult their first real job is/other nurses being "mean"/how hard school is/some BON issue/NCLEX etc.

2. Amazingly wise and experienced nurses respond with truth (gasp!), helpful ideas, encouragement

3. Noob flips out because they're not being coddled, told how wonderful they are, told they must be accountable and mature, to toughen up or that they have much to learn. Noob cries "negativity," "judgment," and "COBs are out to get us"

4. Other noobs light their tiny torches and dogpile the wise ones, reporting abuse, flagging their posts, generally escalating the chorus of whining into a minor roar

5. Wise ones not only get "points" assigned and privileges taken away, but also grow weary and disgusted with the general atmosphere the whiny noobs create

And now, many are backing away from AN altogether because of this process repeating itself too many times. Unfortunately, the crying noobs who instigate this are the ones paying to keep AN alive and the site owner's pockets lined with cash.

It closely resembles the very problem that is the downfall of American healthcare....putting profits before professional integrity. The moderating policies on AN place more value on retaining and placating the whiny noobs who can't take a single shred of truth over maintaining a good balance of experienced expertise with new innovation. What is happening here is EXACTLY what is happening on the very units so many of you noobs are crying about.

As much as we joke about crusty old bats, they are and always will be valuable sources of knowledge and models of professionalism and humor. I am only 40 and have 7 years' experience, hardly an old bat but definitely no noob, and I am appalled at how delicate and thin-skinned newbies are, here and in the real world. And I am disappointed in how AN's systems are so quick to reward the whining as long as the whiners are paying for membership.

COBs, I am sorry your wisdom and extremely valuable experience is being moderated into oblivion. I am also sorry AN is slowly being swallowed up by greed-driven ethics. With such a large membership it has great potential for being a credible resource, but the leadership and policies are negating that potential every time they allow the the whiners to win. Sounds EXACTLY like the profit driven healthcare system we are ALL struggling to survive in.

dudette10, MSN, RN · Aug 21, 2014

Thank you for your thoughts, McLennan, but I'm not sure they relate to my OP. :)