It seems like the word is verboten 'round these parts.
Yeah, getting your feathers ruffled isn't bullying. Sometimes, when things are described on this board, it's just occasional rudeness by someone who has "been in a very bad mood for 70 years" (to quote Ouizer in Steel Magnolias), but not bullying.
Then, there are situations described in which a person is being the continual target of another, and responders use words like "toxic" and "nasty" and "unnecessarily harsh," but the responder adds, "But that's not bullying."
What is it then? We all say what it's not, but what is it? No textbook definition needs to be made because we've seen those already. Let's just try to define it using real life or made up examples to illustrate it. I'm getting a little confuzzled about the collective opinion on bullying here at AN.
I am neither a noob nor a crusty old bat - and while the noobs have been ridiculous at times, some of the COBs have purposefully antagonized them at times and/or posted stuff they *know* would inflame. I have seen almost as many out of touch COB postings as I have ridiculously naive noob posts.
Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.
I think workplace hostility exists and can interfere with the job getting done and can even affect patient care. Bullying can occur in any setting and does exist in healthcare. I think some people are surprised to find it in health care because "kindness, beneficence, and to do ho harm" is supposed to govern interactions with patients and we assume it will govern interactions with us. Some of us get a rude awakening, almost if those ideals are just a bunch of baloney and health care providers are just going through the motions.
Some of us though use these ideals to guide our practice and to guide our behavior in the world in general. I certainly try. Being kind and "doing no harm" does not mean that you have to coddle or "kiss hiney," but that we treat each other as we would like to be treated. It is basic respect that every person deserves, in my opinion.
I think the hazing and bullying comes from the field of medicine and has had an effect on the field of nursing, at least this is my opinion. Just read some of the stories about how medical students are treated in their learning process. Read about how some physicians treat nurses in the work place, the rudeness and disrespect some of them have, how some of them instill fear in nurses of even calling about a patient. Some of us become afraid to even have conversations with physicians. I certainly have. To me this can be construed as bullying, and it might even negatively affect patient care.
I do not think it is too much to ask that eye rolling, unwelcome pranks, rude comments, and even deliberate sabotage of performing duties at work (not helping with patient care and lifts, intentionally leaving extra work at the end of the shift for the next nurse, hurtful inappropriate comments, the 3rd degree when giving report, etc.) stop. And there are way worse things that have been done to nurses either by another coworker or more than one coworker. This bullying can happen to seasoned nurses too, new grads are not the only ones who encounter a hostile work environment.
I don't necessarily think developing a "thick skin" is the only/best way to handle it. Is being sensitive a quality that should be suppressed and changed? Sensitivity and compassion are not handicaps, they can be strengths. Shedding tears does not mean weakness, it can be a strength. I had a coworker who cried when she was ridiculed by a physician and she had the courage to show her tears and tell the physician why her feelings were hurt. This physician was particularly rude and liked to belittle nurses. After this incident this doctor became a lot more respectful. It was almost like a different person. He did not know the effect his behavior was having and when he saw that he hurt someone, he felt bad because in his heart of hearts, he was compassionate and caring (at least that is what I think might have happened).
I think most healthcare professionals are kind and compassionate and have a genuine desire to help others. For some reason, maybe the stress of the job, the "culture" of the profession, lash out, taking out their frustrations, or actually believe that the hazing is part of the learning process. Who knows. Maybe it's the culture of the unit, no team work, fear that others with take ones job, understaffing. What ever is causing it, I think it is worth trying to change it, because I think it might be having a negative effect on patient care and detrimental to the profession.
I think we can change work place hostility, disrespectful interaction, "bullying" by confronting it. Take the doctor, nurse, cna, lab tech (who ever) and tell them how their behavior hurt you and that you want it to stop. If you cry, so what. That doesn't mean you are weak to shed a tear! Conflict resolution takes bravery, the willingness to be vulnerable, letting someone know they hurt you. Doing this might not be effective in some cases, but at least you tried. If it doesn't work, use the chain of command. There are other jobs, other units, other specialties out there that don't have a hostile work environment. They do exist. Don't stay in a toxic situation.
Also realize that some people have different personalities. Some people aren't the "warm and fuzzy" type and we have to accept people as they are. Some people don't always smile. People get frustrated and lash out at times. Just because someone is not always "nice" doesn't mean they are bullying. Sometimes people have had a bad day. That's why communication is so important, maybe you can help the person by talking about it. "Can we talk when you have a minute?, when you said/did/looked like ****, it seemed like**** or I felt like*****, is something wrong?", "How can I help?" "is it something I did?, tell me about it?" "Lets try to work it out."
There is a great book called non-violent communication that can help make conflict easier. I think the work place, forums, and many other settings can be a lot more welcoming if we try to give mutual respect and resolve conflicts in a respectful way. I think this could improve patient care and raise the quality of social interactions.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Thank you to the above poster for getting this thread back on track. I don't think stirring up divisions is the way to approach the topic the OP brought up, and was glad to see someone right the ship, so to speak.
IMHO, bullying consists of threatening and/or sabotaging another nurse, making it difficult for them to do their job and/or causing them to be fearful. I don't think mere gossip or shunning is bullying---it makes for a toxic work environment, yes, but not bullying. I have had both happen to me; at the first place I worked after getting my license, the nurse on the opposite hall took a dislike to me and tried to turn my own aides against me, as well as the other nurses. Was I angry and embarrassed? Yes. Did I feel bullied? Not at all. I just went in every day and tried to do my job.
Contrast that situation with the nurse-manager at the hospital who actively worked to make my life miserable. She would call me into her office for any real or imagined infraction of hospital decorum and threaten my job. Once she even tried to nail me for taking a narcotic out of the drawer without signing it out; luckily for me, I'd just come on shift and didn't even have keys yet. I never did find out why I had a target on my back, but after a year and a half of this treatment, I had a breakdown and left my job. I wasn't the only one this happened to; several of the other older nurses were dealt with in much the same manner by this manager, and eventually most of them left as well. Needless to say, I find it ironic that she is now retired and serves as the coordinator of the parish nurse organization I belong to.
I believe it is pretty much what the victim says it is.
I disagree with you on that one, classicdame. To say that bullying is "anything a person says it is" means that if I don't like what you are wearing today, I can legitimately call that bullying. If a nurse repeatedly violates safe practice/policies and she is gently counseled about it, she can legitimately claim to have been bullied. etc. etc. etc.
We need some reasonable standards that distiguish between the true "bullying" -- in which someone is purposely trying to hurt or intimidate someone unfairly -- and someone who just doesn't like what is happening. Everything unpleasant in life is not "bullying" and it is not fair to accuse innocent people of bullying just because you are unhappy with something. In such cases, the accusations of bullying can themselves become a means of bullying.
I have to agree with llg. We had a student post recently thinking that her preceptor not wanting to be chatty Cathy with her and socialize in the same way she did with established colleagues was bullying. There have to be some limits.
I have to agree with llg. We had a student post recently thinking that her preceptor not wanting to be chatty Cathy with her and socialize in the same way she did with established colleagues was bullying. There have to be some limits.
I thought that was a good thread where people politely set her straight - if I recall correctly.
I disagree with you on that one, classicdame. To say that bullying is "anything a person says it is" means that if I don't like what you are wearing today, I can legitimately call that bullying. If a nurse repeatedly violates safe practice/policies and she is gently counseled about it, she can legitimately claim to have been bullied. etc. etc. etc.
We need some reasonable standards that distiguish between the true "bullying" -- in which someone is purposely trying to hurt or intimidate someone unfairly -- and someone who just doesn't like what is happening. Everything unpleasant in life is not "bullying" and it is not fair to accuse innocent people of bullying just because you are unhappy with something. In such cases, the accusations of bullying can themselves become a means of bullying.
I feel so out of the loop. Will someone PM me and fill me in?
As far as bullying, there is online bullying sometimes, if we are talking about message boards. I think people band together and do mass complaints against their online adversaries. Or they will gang up on someone on a thread. It's very unfortunate and shuts down the free expression of ideas. A socially weak member can get called out over and over by the same online group, who dominate a board.
The same can happen in the workplace, people banding together in cliques and undermining perfectly good nurses. I've seen both happen.
Maybe you are right. I thought she was serious. I have read some articles on bullying that seem to suggest thoughts along the lines of what she was expressing.
Bullying is subjective--as pp have indicated, what could be bullying behavior to some may not be to others.
If someone's behavior is just this shy of whacked, then it does need to be brought to the attention of the manager. Before it becomes a huge determent to the unit.
We all know it when we see it. Nurses that are the subject of gossip and ridicule. Childish displays of tantrums, and equally childish "take your dolls and dishes and go home" attitudes. Nurses who are quick to tear down, and not so eager to lift up.
Imagine if any number of us stood up to that. To really say "you are acting half whacked, what is wrong with you, we are concerned". Because any nurse that acts like a toddler IS apparently going through something that is affecting work. And work that I can't stress enough is with keeping people alive and functioning (or a peaceful death for the hospice among us) This is not overcooking a hamburger. This is complex stuff that a nurse now has to do times 8 or 10 patients.
If you see bullying, report it. If you are a bully, knock it off, it is getting old quick, and if you are on the receiving end of a bully, talk to someone about it to support you. Don't suffer in silence.
Cripes on a cracker, we are all professional people whose task can be life altering. Let's all go forward with confidence.
VANurse2010
1,526 Posts
I am neither a noob nor a crusty old bat - and while the noobs have been ridiculous at times, some of the COBs have purposefully antagonized them at times and/or posted stuff they *know* would inflame. I have seen almost as many out of touch COB postings as I have ridiculously naive noob posts.